Motivate me, I am rather young I would love to hear everyones experience with overcoming adversity.
I am currently in that weird quarter life crisis part of my life where I am reevaluating my life choices. I would love to hear any good stories on how fellow monkeys have pushed through tough times.
| +81 | GF doesn’t care about her looks | 49 | 8h | |
| +50 | Affair with my Associate… In Desperate Need for Advice | 23 | 23m | |
| +39 | Insurance as High Finance? | 10 | 1d | |
| +38 | 400k/year in HVAC sales? | 26 | 20h | |
| +38 | How to sound more eloquent? | 15 | 3s | |
| +33 | Would you rather live alone in an outer borough or with roommates in Manhattan? | 23 | 1d | |
| +27 | Why do people listen to Jim Cramer Investing Advice? | 10 | 2h | |
| +26 | Is my boss gaslighting me? | 3 | 2h | |
| +25 | Carnivore Diet | 9 | 4h | |
| +25 | WSO Ranking On Resume??? | 6 | 1h |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
I come from a lower-middle class family and graduated from an admissions-based top magnet high school in the U.S. four years ago. Ended up getting a half-ride to a top/target b-school and was ecstatic. So much so, I lost sight of academics and fell into a lot of toxic friendships with mega rich kids. In my first two years, I became heavily addicted to multiple hard substances including xanax, cocaine, ketamine, oxycodone/contin, and have taken LSD over 100 times to date. At the same time, my dad fell ill and lost his job; my parents pressured me to reconsider college as tuition was too expensive for me to afford. At the time, I felt deeply lost and turned to anything that could make me feel anything at all. I lost a lot of friends and my SO who I had been with for 5 years. My relationship with my parents also declined as I began to face the harsh reality that nobody was going to give a shit about me, and there was no safety net to catch me if I fell. In the darkest moment of my life, I decided to start working my way back to normalcy and sobriety. It took me months to get off drugs, and I rebounded multiple times during the process. Luckily, my SO was willing to take another chance on me and she supported me every step of the way. Managing and growing relationships was key to fixing my life. Later that year in December, I lost control and popped a xanax and oxy, got in a car with my friend, and proceeded to drive straight into an electrical pole with live wires after falling asleep at the wheel. The police said they never saw anyone survive something like that - the lives wires were criss-crossed on top of my car and all my windows were smashed out. I totaled it but my friend and I got out with not even a scratch.
I decided then and there to propose to my SO. Three days later, I was engaged before I even graduated college. If there was one thing that made me change abruptly, it's that I realized there were other people that depended on me in my life. My parents, my sister, my SO, even my best friend who I had lost contact with because of my drug abuse. I decided to focus on these relationships, and the accountability that gave me exceeded my desire to do drugs. At that point, I had destroyed any chance of me securing a high-enough paying job to pay off my tuition, let alone take care of my SO and parents as they were now both ill.
Once I had re-established my relationships, I decided to focus on Meaning. Life, for me, means being with the people who I love and support. It means providing for them when they cannot provide for themselves. It means sticking with them through thick and thin. I realized I was no longer on a path to success in my career given that I didn't try to network, or get a decent internship, and my GPA had tanked from a 2.7 to a 0.8 (I was almost kicked out of school). I knew I had to make a short-term sacrifice to get back on track, so I relentlessly applied to hundreds of summer internships and finally landed a position at a no-name, LMM real estate private equity firm with FO SA role at a top MF REPE.
I'd be lying if I said it was 100% luck, and I'd also be lying if I said I completely deserved it. Because realistically, someone in my position should have never gotten something like this. But the experiences I went through allowed me to power through and work as hard as I can to achieve my goals. I'm looking at a ~170K all-in compensation my first year out of college. I'm able to pay for my father's surgery later this month with the money I earned this summer. I can finally get my parents off their shitty government insurance that only lets us see shit-tier doctors who I'm almost positive are malpracticing but we have no money for a lawyer to sue. I can finally pay to send them back to where they grew up so they can enjoy their lives knowing full-well that they didn't fuck up when they raised me.
My story isn't typical, but hopefully it helps you get to where you want to be as well. Life is fucking hard as shit but nobody is going to be there for you if you give up on yourself. Always be grateful, always look to the positives rather than negatives, and always focus on what you can do to improve your situation. Every night, I make it a point to thank God for three things I'm grateful for. You don't need to pray to anyone/thing to do the same thing. Just spend some time every day reminding yourself of things that you're happy about, and I guarantee you it will have a positive, lasting effect on your mood and outlook on life.
holy shit, thank you
Way to turn things around. What an inspiration!
@VCWannabe" Sorry for the short response earlier I was running out the door. Definitely did not give your amazing story the time it dissevered.
I want to thank you for bringing up meaning and gratitude. These are two things that I struggle with and the lack of them may be the root cause of my current state. I am not "depressed" in the traditional sense, but I do think that this is maybe a signal that I need to take stock and reevaluate what I want out of life.
As for your story, I can assimilate a tiny bit because I have seen many kids go through what you did and never come back honestly. I can count on two hands how many very smart affluent kids I know now are now in rehab in Florida/Arizona and they will never reconnect with our community. All because they wanted to get fucked up. Props to you for pulling things together and getting on the right track. I am sure it was very hard.
I definitely know where you're coming from regarding meaning and gratitude. And thank you for your kind words; the only thing I have to add is that having meaning and being grateful are very, very difficult aspects of life to attain. Unfortunately for many of us, it's often times easier to be unhappy/feel aimless rather than forcing ourselves to smile in the face of adversity and look to the bright side. The hardest part about achieving those things in life is how "practiced" and "forced" it feels at first. That's why I emphasized relationships--having people close to you who can support you and bring joy into your life can really accelerate your process of personal growth and development. It's not for everyone obviously, but maybe if it worked for me it can work for you too. Best wishes and if you ever want to speak more on this, I'm happy to.
I would like to share my story. My parents were just average middle class people, I did ridiculously well in high school, I remember the day I got a 101% percent in my biology class. So finally, I graduated, I went to a private religious school but realized it wasn't for me. While I attended, I decided to study abroad in Italy, I loved every day I spent there. For some strange reason, the Italians thought I was Italian, I don't look remotely Italian but I spoke Italian very well since I basically spoke Spanish perfectly as my second language. I was raised in a house hold where my parents didn't speak english in the household, they spoke very good english but they spoke in the native tongue to me. So I loved being abroad and I took the chance and I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast to a pretty popular state school. I loved how much people had so much pride going to this school. My deepest darkest secret started developing. I originally started smoking pot excessively. I smoked 5 marijuana blunts or basically a marijuana cigar as it is commonly known for two years straight. I finally got into my finance program and started hanging around the fraternity. I started occasionally drinking here and there. The university I went to had a complete getting drunk culture and people would say "you're a great drinker". I didn't realize I had alcoholism until one of my best friends called me out on campus and said, "I can smell the alcohol on your breathe, you're drunk". I lost him for six months and another friend was able to mend this relationship. I appreciate everyday he forgave me when I treated him terribly. I lost the only girl I cared about because I drank too much alcohol and one day, she left her job and I never saw her again. I saw her grocery shopping and she looked and me sadly and said hello. Another friend admitted and told she got a boyfriend and quit, I lost someone who was going to be potentially my wife if I treated well. I left the university, I started going to therapy and I got help in numerous ways. I don't drink excessively anymore but don't get me wrong, I drink responsibly and I consume alcohol lightly. I'll quit drinking in the future. The best advice I can give you in life is take care of yourself. Don't indulge in substances. Don't lose the most important people in life because you indulge in things that change your mentality. I'm now a successful trader and I enjoy living life everyday. Never doubt yourself.
Go Bears
I'm Bullish :)
My pain is constant and sharp
OP this isn't a disney movie
@VCWannabe" has a cool story but sometimes you don't have a cool story you just eat shit lol
Yes it is
you gotta break the cycle, otherwise you'll just spiral down. (copied from below) Get good sleep, get some good exercise ideally with friends / club, good diet (mostly vegetables), build a circle of friends, maybe go to your church or whatnot just to connect with others. That way you're taking care of your mind and your body.
We moved to the US when I was 8 years old. No sooner did we get settled than my father was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He then began the most painful, god-awful physical downward spiral I can describe. His ability to control his limbs started to drop. Then he could not control his urine/bowels. Then he needed a cane to walk. Then he needed a wheelchair. Then he had to stay in bed all the time, and we'd have to come over and roll him, and clean his poop and pee.
He was my hero. He had been a military officer, then a politician, and then an entrepreneur in our home country. He was someone I worshiped. He was admired by others.
Now he was a vegetable. To see him fall apart was bad. But to see him lose his ability to work, to walk, to speak with us ... I cannot describe it.
He got pneumonia, and was taken to the hospital where he stayed for an extended period of time. My mom worked in non-profit, so there wasn't much money. She supported us 3 boys - myself the eldest. She worked 80 hours per week to support us. We never saw her.
One night while my dad was in the hospital and my mom was working late, I messed up on cooking dinner for my brothers. I accidentally set the kitchen on fire. I tried to use the fire extinguisher but it failed. We evacuated the apartment, but we lost a lot of stuff in the fire. No one got hurt. But we did get evicted from our apartment.
Then my dad died. All within the span of a few weeks.
It had taken him 5 years to slowly die, from the time I was 8 to when I was about to turn 13. But he had in reality died in my mind much earlier.
That 5 year period is a well of pain and misery that I cannot draw from. it's just an endless blackness. I was depressed for years after that. Maybe if he had just died quickly, it would have been better. But that drawn out multi-year deterioration was so much worse.
I don't have any advice on how to get out of depression. I guess 5 years later I went to university, and that was better. Went to a top tier school, got out of the city, got out of the house.
Although part way through college my mom got breast cancer. But it didn't kill her, so I didn't find that experience nearly as bad as what happened to my dad.
I doubt I have any advice for you, but you asked about our darkest time, and this was mine.
Maybe to combat depression do this: Get good sleep, get some good exercise ideally with friends / club, good diet (mostly vegetables), build a circle of friends, maybe go to your church or whatnot just to connect with others. That way you're taking care of your mind and your body.
I won't go into too much detail, but I was around 20-21 when I slipped into a pretty bad depression and questioned the point of life at all times when I was alone. Had to be around people to take my mind off things but was probably toxic around them - count your blessings and be grateful for those who support you and stick around.
I know this is a shitty answer, but time lessened the pain. I won't say it healed it, but after a while, I got used to the pain such that it hurt less. What really helped me get out of it - and I hate this answer too because I know it's not an option for everyone - but I stepped out of my comfort shell and studied abroad and had an amazing experience. Came back a new person. I started having similar feelings a year or two later again and decided to again do something out of my comfort zone - got more involved in school activities, traveled alone a little more, tried learning a language and took up other hobbies, and they helped. To me, life is all about the experiences you have and the people you share those experiences and your life with.
I read a book later on, "The Power of Now," and it was a very cheesy and repetitive-message book, but the message of the book is quite good. I strongly suggest you to read this review (https://justmind.org/minimize-anxiety-depression-by-living-in-the-now/) and to watch a video or two of Eckhart's on Youtube. After I read it, I started focusing on my senses a lot more, and I found it to be extremely peaceful. Like getting outside and feeling the breeze on your skin and hearing birds. It's immensely helpful to notice your senses "in the now" and take your mind away from any depression/anxiety from things in the past/future. The issue is that it's incredibly hard to keep that frame of mind going long-term. I certainly have not mastered it, but I can think back to this book every once in a while and calm myself.
Third alcoholic here, it’s nice hearing from others who are also alcoholics and have been successful. I’m well on my way, just a couple years behind. I IVed heroin for the first time at 16 and didn’t stop until I was 21 and started shooting coke instead. On my 22nd birthday I began a 21 day psychosis completely blacked out, 14 of which I spent in a psych ward. I’ll Have three years sober this November and am working my ass off to make it in finance and loving every second
BTW OP, if you're really in trouble, call the suicide helpline - even if you're not suicidal. Having someone to talk to for just 10 minutes can make a big difference. They are there 24/7 and god knows depression doesn't keep regular hours does it?
as a trader, my "success metric"...how well i'm doing..and my "worth" as an employee is "whats your PnL? " When i lose money because i enter a trade at a random price because i missed my "good" entry, i feel very low..still to this day (as i should).
years ago,I had a longterm girlfriend at the time who i was thinking of breaking up with...but she depended on me, which made that difficult. At the same time (unbeknownst to me) she had a gambling problem, and had helped herself to my bank account, credit cards, retirement accounts...basically, she gambled it all away. I went from having almost 1 million dollars to being 50k in credit card debt....and then i lost money trading at the BB i was at and got fired.
So, it was a dark time, and i contemplated suicide. No job, 50k debt, no skills other than trading, and at the time, since i got fired because i lost 5mm at the BB...i didn't think i'd make it as a trader...who would hire me?
So, i moved back in with my parents. I was at my lowest point...i was a failure...and i was robbed, with no way of getting the money back...and 50k credit card debt.
Dolor maxime aliquam laboriosam ad minus recusandae aut quisquam. In asperiores rerum architecto vero nihil mollitia. Quia sint earum voluptas aut. Sed molestiae pariatur dolores sint est ut ut sint. Distinctio non est facilis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...