Dysfunctional Family Relationships
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sorry - i know a lot of grammatical errors and it seems as if i may be ranting but i wanted to get this off my chest
Wow. I didn't know they let fcking morons into MBA business schools">M7 MBAs these days.
How about you stop being such a major cunntt to your father and back him up instead of pushing him down?
I feel a tremendous amount of guilt when i do it...but it just comes out inadvertently, and i dont like it afterwards...i have a bad temper...prob got it from my mom...i just wished my dad would stand up for himself...
You sound like a guy that could rape a girl, and then proceed to yell at her for not defending herself.
What are you crying about exactly? Sounds like your life is perfect with a few hiccups.
i suppose it's tough to articulate. i feel i have a mountain of stress weighing me down. in my culture, kids have an obligation to take care of parents when parents hit an old age...i am OK doing that because my mom has done so much for me...but over the last couple of years, i fear failure the most and not being able to give back to my mom as i dont really have high expectations from my dad..im not even married yet...but i am planning on getting hitched over the next couple of years...as i write this i wonder if it's the uncertainty of future that's giving me stress
Yeah, you would probably do well to just take a deep breath, reorient yourself, and focus on what you're doing to get where you want to be. If you're worried about risk, take out insurance. There's no point crying about basically nothing.
OK I'll give you a potentially helpful answer to make up for the rude but honest one. Sounds like you feel obligated to help your parents financially in the foreseeable future and are experience anxiety about your ability to meet said obligations. Correct? Well let me address the dad crying thing first. I can't relate because I didn't have a dad growing up, but the imagery disgusts me. So I can imagine that displeasing you. It would displease me too. I would be utterly incapable of having an ounce of respect for that man. I can relate with your desire to help your mom, which I share with you. Although my mom works and has done so her whole life. I don't understand your mom's hang-up with working and you haven't illuminated these stresses she's under for us, but that's irrelevant to my next point.
I started helping my mom out about a year ago, so it's new to me. I felt no obligation to do so. Sh's never asked for anything from me or made any kind of bullshit implications. I just love her and want her life to be as good as possible because she's essentially given her life for her 3 kids. I reluctantly wrote the "because" bit because why I want to help my mom is also irrelevant.
Anyway, I started doing it gradually. The idea of paying off your parents' house and buying them cars, all in cash, is daunting and infeasible for a young person unless you make a lot. But affording them a very nice life is totally plausible. I have a spreadsheet to keep track of my monthly income streams and my monthly savings goal. I added a line for "Send Mom" and put a goal in the line. You can started as small as you want. Start with $50. Send her $50 one month. If everything goes smoothly that month and you're able to meet all of your financial obligations while meeting savings/investment goals and helping your mom, then try $100 next month. Make sure that runs smooth then go up to $200, $300, etc. I don't know which Asian country your parents are in. I'd love to know because women work in all of the Asian countries afaik. But you can afford a really nice lifestyle on like $2K a month in most of the world. That's a lot more than you need for a lot of places actually. And that's totally doable to work up to. It's like paying a small second mortgage.
So yeah just systematize this shit just like anything else. And sorry again about your dad being soft.
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