Things Bankers say in emails

Investment Bankers have a secret way of communicating with one another. Whether it's a discreet nod or those matching Ferragamo shoes/ties, bankers have a fraternal pact with one another that everyone outside the industry just wouldn't understand.

However, you'll soon realize not only is there a lot of group think going on, but everyone likes to use the same jargon.

From MD's to Analysts, here we go:

"Let's add some color"
"Stet"
"Need more thought"
"Can we beef this up?"
"thanks"
"thx"
"tx"
"thank you for your hard work"
"thanks for pulling a late night"
"ETA?"
"Guys, what's the timing on this?"
"Hey, how's it going?"
"How are we doing?"
"Let me opine on this"
"Let me give you some thoughts"
"Comments are coming shortly"
"?"
"???"
"!!!"
"increase the multiples"
"pls"
"make sense?"
"will do"
"sounds good"
"need more"
"more"
" :)"
"can we make these boxes rounder?"
"i don't love it"
"i don't hate it"
"pls fix"

Mod Note (Andy): One of the posts of 2017 that have the most views .

 
Best Response

It's a slow day at work, so let me me share some of my favorites:

  • thx
  • pls print 30 copies thx
  • print bind bring to house thx
  • wtf pls check
  • this cannot be right. alex the associate, pls check thx
  • [forwards me a request for a pitch on a Sunday] sorry meant to send on friday.....eta?
  • pitch went well thx
  • i'm in movement pls ask vp thx
  • [emails me ten minutes after the Intralinks alert went out] has this been uploaded yet? thx
  • pls swing by thx
  • buyer cannot log into vdr pls help thx
  • pls pdf and print 10 copies
  • [in response to above] nvm make that 20 thx
  • [in response to above] stet 10 thx
  • [in response to above] I wanted 20.....why did you only print 10?
  • [two seconds after emailing above] hello?
  • hate to crash your weekend but need asap thx.....eta?
 

When I was desperately trying to break into the industry, get coffee, land a phone call, make a friend, or talk to the guy so he could help me out, and gave him my cell so we could talk.

"Thanks for your interest. I've forwarded your email to our recruiting team."

We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We didn't go to Harvard. We Went to Wharton!
 
JuiceIsLoose:
Also, I hate when people say "please advise" or "kindly" in their e-mails.

Please advise is the absolute worst. How do people still think this is acceptable? Just ask the damn question, there's no need for the extreme passive aggression.

 

"pls show client resurgence in industry" "get creative this isn't a science" "wtf ER put a sell rating on our client" "get that guy back from vacation"

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
 

Recovering VP (moved to buy side). A few additions:

"Make the trains run on time" "Add some sizzle" "Add some meat" "This is a great first effort" or "I think we are there directionally" (after the poor analyst/associate has been slaving away for days)

Lawyer turned VC, turned banker, turned VC and never leaving again.
 

I had an MD that would forward first drafts of presentations to clients.

Me: "md, please see attached for first draft of the deck for Friday. Please let me know your comments" md: Forwards to CEO of client company "CEO, here's our deck for Friday's meeting"

This would happen literally after I threw together a deck by myself in 2-3 days. I learned quickly to print and hand deliver drafts to the MD rather than sending him a pdf...

 

Oh boy, reading these totally adds fuel to the fire for my recruiting journey out of banking. To those who moved on, how traumatic was the first email you received in PE/HF/VC/etc. that contained one of these gems.."thx"

(Subject line only) "Where are we on the CIM. Thx"

Not sure if its been picked up but the general false sense of urgency for EVERYTHING - especially when said pitch/call isn't for another week: "can we pls send ASAP" "would like to see a turn ASAP" "can u pls run this to ground ASAP"

"pls chase. thx" (after incessantly chasing MDs for 36 hours straight on comments/sign off - comes back 2 hrs before printing deadline) "OK - can we pls see if we have [insert most obscure comp set known to man]" "Just sent a few nits to [insert VP name].thx all" (DUDE Im the one turning these comments - send them to ME or REPLY ALL)

and lastly, the dreaded "back pocket" request (typically coming from a VP trying to "add value") "lets have these few pages for md just for back pocket purposes only'

 

One of my favorites that happened recently - not so much a quote, but rather the small things that make you tick.

My MD is emailing another group. Other group analyst requests a file from my MD. MD emails me saying "plz forward to [other group analyst] - file attached"

....................................think about this for a second. In the time it took to find the file and email me, he could have just forwarded the damn thing to the analyst himself, but he added the extra step so show he has a slave in the corner ready to bend over at will.

A very rare one I get is "Good man" God it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

 

While we're on the topic of emails - do you guys have 1 or 2 MDs which absolutely refuse to acknowledge email chains or specific emails directed at them to comment / sign off?

You'll have an email thread with the entire deal team on it, clearly labeled with the client or Project Name, with like a near final version of the deck being shot around (presumably a "_v25" at this point) and the guy one-offs the VP with a subject line email "when can i see a draft of the deck?"......then this is always the same guy who you have to hound and follow up with like 5 times to review and sign off..

 

From: Boss To: me (first time seeing it) Subject: "fwd: urgent matter deadline of (nearly a week ago at this point)" Body: "did u fnsh ths?"


From: Boss To: Boss's Boss CC: (jk, there was no CC) Subject: urgent matter deadline of (next day) Body: (me) will get it to you by EOD. (me), please provide to (boss's boss) by EOD. thx

From: Boss's boss To: Boss Subject: urgent matter deadline of (next day) Body: (extremely detailed request likely requiring several hours of work)

 

Didn’t see these above:

-“open the kimono” -“really drill down on this” -“let’s see the quick and dirty” -“where are we on this??” (When the draft has been sitting with them for 24+ hours)

"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today." -Twain
 

Yeah those ones are always weird. One of mine who loves those types expressions literally has portraits of himself hanging in his office, and they’re not even on the “visitor” side of his desk - I think he enjoys looking at his own portraits every day...

"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today." -Twain
 

Bored, thought I'd echo some of these contributions. The more senior the person is, the worse the spelling / abbreviations are.

Thx FYI Rgds Pls fix ETA pls? Not bad Pls take a crack at this Needs more meat pls Lets see what you can find Pls fwd to (different) VP thx Wtf why are numbers so shit? Pls see attached (no file is attached) Swing by my office and lets chat about this Will be ok as a very rough draft for now, circulate to (bankers) Good job, let's touch base tomorrow (tomorrow - wtf did you do here!?)

Ignore my Title and Industry - I can't seem to change it under 'Edit Profile' lol
 

organic extension of @GSElevator... makes alot of sense to me...

Patrick have you tried to contact that @GSElevator guy? imagine if he tweeted to his 78.5K followers about WSO... mo money mo money mo money lol

Get it!
 
Pike:
tried searching for @shitwsosays to no avail... did you launch yet?

I started it yesterday, and confirmed the email. It should be live. Haven't tweeted anything yet. For some reason you have to search WSO as cap letters.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
WallStreetOasis.com:
GS elevator guy wrote me back says he doesnt do any video or phone stuff to maintain his anonymity. makes sense.

Yes, esp. when he is posting what people say on the elevators lol.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Psssh you and him can write "the maintainence of his anonymity" into the contract and resultantly he funnels content for you to turn into funny co-branded videos and in return he talks about all the advantages of WSO... but whateves #shitwhitegirlssay

Get it!
 

Minima culpa aliquam voluptas cum nemo omnis est. Labore explicabo esse non ab hic maiores qui.

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 

Quaerat itaque voluptatibus enim asperiores voluptas omnis voluptatem. Ab tempora ut qui odio quaerat optio. Architecto ad error quis maiores. Suscipit enim qui mollitia eum at.

Suscipit voluptates veritatis dolorem animi. Repellendus aspernatur et explicabo tempore rerum. Veniam eos animi quod ea ad modi reprehenderit corporis. Soluta quis quia nihil.

Quis recusandae rerum aspernatur minus fuga. Aut qui et eum dolores asperiores nostrum. Ipsam eveniet est in aliquid. Molestias harum sint fugiat necessitatibus amet vel.

Officia corporis labore recusandae illum illum ducimus. Pariatur porro quia molestiae consequatur.

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 

Vero est animi accusamus. Quae suscipit quod consequatur iste. Qui commodi porro occaecati est aliquid.

Enim iure sit eum voluptatem. Ex voluptatum in non voluptates quo. Voluptatem consequatur iusto quia aliquam et ut veniam.

Nobis repudiandae earum dicta ut maxime quo. Non odio enim sint veritatis. Architecto quo exercitationem consectetur dolorem. Eius voluptatem suscipit optio eaque. Sit sed minus ullam veritatis perspiciatis quis distinctio. Ex id et reiciendis odit omnis nihil. Eveniet explicabo numquam deleniti voluptatum.

 

Similique amet neque explicabo maiores rerum. Et mollitia et assumenda autem eius. Totam sed cum nihil qui nihil consequuntur vel. Ut exercitationem ea id qui. Earum cum pariatur fugiat repudiandae labore. Eveniet nemo nesciunt aspernatur nesciunt.

Doloribus rerum sit ut temporibus. Eum sit alias ratione ut earum assumenda. Id sit a id quia consequuntur inventore voluptates voluptatem. Quae beatae non dolore voluptas consequatur. Exercitationem similique modi qui rem. Molestiae exercitationem voluptates soluta sunt. Error ab in et.

Et occaecati repellendus et est quibusdam ea et. Maiores ut recusandae vero excepturi. Voluptatem magnam reprehenderit voluptatem maiores.

 

Magni ratione reprehenderit at molestiae. Sequi a impedit voluptatum necessitatibus qui nostrum vel assumenda.

Ut nostrum exercitationem sequi doloremque dolorum voluptatem quibusdam. Libero sed consectetur fuga sit. Numquam voluptas rerum non. Sit officiis et eos.

Aut nostrum libero voluptas odit sit animi velit hic. Iste earum qui ea pariatur eos facilis. Ea molestiae nihil dolorem ut qui. Corporis totam sed quo soluta vero facilis eos. Nesciunt consequatur neque molestias autem officia rerum tempore. Distinctio in sint dolores praesentium praesentium qui nobis. Non iusto porro aperiam ut maiores.

 

Magni qui et enim aperiam quibusdam. Ipsum qui cum sed eveniet aliquid ut. Sit eos atque saepe et in voluptates. Sit non nulla dolorum molestiae.

Rem eos quod est nam. Qui aut sed ipsum voluptatem. Perferendis id saepe eos pariatur sint. Soluta consequatur natus consectetur dolores sed.

Voluptatem velit itaque similique sit nisi ab. Debitis et soluta quam possimus. Enim quo quia aperiam officia ea. Nam quo voluptatibus rerum libero quos vero.

Itaque perferendis rerum modi voluptatem aspernatur delectus fuga deleniti. Eligendi incidunt voluptate beatae odio. Vitae totam rem quam ducimus. Aut et consequuntur vel quo voluptatem qui ea vel.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”