How to stop bragging about being an "Investment Banker?"
Hi,
I have a big problem. I like bragging to people how awesome and cool I am. I like saying that I'm an Investment Banker without anyone really asking, even though I'm just an A1 analyst at a MM firm. It's super douchey and I hate myself but I can't help it. How do I stop this impulsive behavior? The work I do is not rocket science, nor is it glamorizing to actual Finance professionals who do the same shit I do. I build slides and plug-in inputs into a model but for some reason, I think I'm soooo much cooler than everyone else. Oh, look at me, I can stay up till 4am, turning over some comments my VP made like, "Delete the extra space here." I'm soooo cool, please show me affection. It's even cost me some ass because females turn away and go, "Ugh..this douche bag again," every damn time. At first, I didn't realize that to be the case but now, I'm very much aware of it. That is the reason. What else could it be?
Example:
Me: "Hey what's up?"
Somebody: "Going great. HBU"
Me: "Yea, so you know that I'm an Investment Banker right?"
Somebody: "...yea?"
Me: "...that's it"
Somebody: "......"
I'm obviously exaggerating here with a bit of humor but I really do hate this habit. I talk to some people and you wouldn't even tell he/she graduated from HYP, makes $400-$500k as a PE Associate/VP, and serves on a non-profit board at age 26 meanwhile, I can't stop telling the world I'm an "Investment Banker." I want to be like those guys/girls. I want to be lowkey. I want to stop my addiction of trying to be the "coolest" in the room by mentioning "Investment Banker." When people not familiar with Finance speak with me, they think I'm balling like that scumbag from "The Wolf of Wall Street" but in reality, I'm living in a cramped space in Manhattan, with 4 other "cool Investment Banking A1s." They say self-awareness is key to success, and I'm as I mentioned earlier, very much aware of this.
Maybe it's the Non-Target pride at breaking into the industry after rigorous networking and relationship building. How do I level up to a "Target" mentality of just being "KEWL" and shutting my mouth when no one asked? Do I need to get my MBA at HYPW after my Analyst stint to be educated on the "Target" mentality and finally humble myself for once? Would that make it even worse knowing my personality?
HELP!!!!
1.5/10
You are quite generous
Just keep doing it until everyone avoids you, then you'll have nobody to tell. Problem solved.
Lmaoooo bump 😂. Also at a MM but don't have that disorder. Get well soon haha. Maybe talk to a psychologist?
why do you need to stop? you're a goddamn rockstar bro fucking own that shit till armageddon
If this is real, I seriously wonder how you can ever have interactions with people beyond meeting them for the first time.
Come-on bro, I'm an Investment Banker. I know how to hide it for a while. It's just sooner or later, it comes out.
Fuck! I did it again. But you get my point.
When I got my IB internship all I wanted to do was brag and tell everyone how hard I worked and how successful I was going to be (especially as a non-target, I know how hard that makes it).
At the end of the day you’re probably like 22. You should be proud of where you’re at but you literally just started your work career, don’t get too ahead of yourself. Don’t get caught up in salary either, think about how long it takes a top med student to even make money and people who do amazing things but aren’t in a career that pays this much this early.
Also remember what you’re sacrificing: relationships, friendships, weekend trips, some sleep. You don’t literally live at the office but you’re spending a ton of time there and that leaves little time for other stuff.
Be proud of yourself, but don’t let it get to your head. It’s not like you’re some crazy successful genius who’s so much better than others, you just your priorities organized in a way that got you into a great career path at the expense of other things.
Felt this. You my good sir, gets a banana from me. No Homo.
bump
How can you brag if you don’t have a PE offer ... Realize that you should be interviewing for PE and if you’re already going into your 2nd year, you’re already too late.
Sounds more to me like he started a few months ago.
Aren’t people on this forum supposed to be going on about how “PE is dying.”
Your perspective of banking might change as you age and mature. I felt like hot shit in 2015 when I got my SA gig. Immediately put "Incoming Investment Banking Summer Analyst" on LinkedIn. Six months into the FT job, countless hours at the office, missed weekend/evening activities, etc. and my atitude changed. I went from thinking I was hot shit to feeling like a sucker. Felt that way into I left IB after four years.
Why did you stick around for 4 years when you started losing interest 6 months in?
I didn't lose interest, I just felt differently about how I preceived myself and my job. I lost interest at about the 3.5 year mark. I always knew that I wanted to exit eventually, but was still congizent of the skills/abilities I was learning at such a fast rate. I also set a goal to get A2A promotion, and eventually achieved that after three years. Stuck around another <1 year because the salary and bonus figures were good but eventually found the right LMM PE gig and jumped at the opportunity. I wasn't sold on PE at first (always intrigued me, but also considered strategy/ops roles at startups and large tech companies).
6.5/10 - I let out a silent laugh for like 3 seconds.
Don't bring it up till they ask; I haven't even updated my LinkedIn.
I admit I was a bit surprised how most people don't give a shit and how many give me a look of enviousness. Occasionally you'll get a "Wow that's awesome!"
But mostly the only people care are people in the know or prospects like the teens on this forum.
Probably best to be humble and tell people you work at a bank. If people are interested in the specifics, they will ask. Most friendships don’t/should not rely on where you work.
.
Definitely thought this kid went to IU Kelley until he described it as a non-target, which no one who went to Kelley would do.
The number of legitimate responses to this pile of shit is concerning.
Yeah don’t go for the Princeton MBA by the way.
Quality.
Get laid
You could just quit – that would solve your problem, no?
Troll post, but (to everyone else) in general, try not to bring up work outside the office. 1) No one cares 2) you already spend 80 hours there already; why allocate even more mindshare?
"Why allocate even more mindshare." Trying so hard to use Finance buzzwords buddy. You might just be worse than me.
First companies fought for market share, now they fight for consumer "mindshare."
It's an age thing. Enjoy it while it lasts. As you get older your self actualization needs shift from being fullfilled by bragging to feeling respected/part of a larger group.
Hmm that is so weird because when I meet guys and they say they are investment bankers I almost immediately suck their dicks.
You must be a gold digger. HAHAHA
The way to stop bragging about being an investment banker is to stop bragging about being an investment banker.
Not rocket science, buddy.
1 - if anyone asks, just be blunt about working in investment banking
2 - if they ask more, which they likely won't, just say "I am not very good at it" and chuckle, then the conversation will move on
Can someone please explain what there is to brag about being an investment banker? They’re all short as fuck, got no puss in college whatsoever. They Live in a shit box apt in nyc and spend all their time alone on a computer.
If you're first year analyst at a MM you probably pull in the same all-in comp as a registered nurse in NYC and I assume you've saved 0 lives on the job so far. Does that help?
I simply try to avoid benchmarking myself against others on career choice and net worth / income. Someone will always have a more interesting job or high-powered job and there is always someone with more money. In my opinion (and take this for what it's worth), the people that want to hang out with someone because of those things aren't worth the time anyway. Maybe it's a bit of an age thing like someone else said.
apart from the obvious troll... wanted to ask, is it flexing if someone asks what i do and i say investment banking? or should i just say finance or banking or something else
If you want to stop, the best way is to have your wingman kick you in the nuts everytime you let it rip. If no wingman then you must punch yourself in the jimmies each time. My guess is that after 3 or 4 times you will say you are in "finance".
Frankly, I think you should be yourself - let that flag fly. Why change for a bunch of people you don't spend Thanksgiving with anyway?
Well, to be honest, only a very small percentage of the overall population actually think positively about investment bankers. And the girls who show interest in bankers are usually after your wallet, not you.
Okay what if you're a girl in banking. Do guys who show interest are usually after your wallet too?/
Yeah cuz it goes both ways.
Dude the last time I went home, I told my family proudly and happily that I am starting out in investment banking at a bulge bracket bank after graduation. One of my uncles was like oh wow so you deal with deposits and withdrawals. Can you help me get a credit card from your bank?"
Like I don't even see the point of telling anyone anymore.
Lol....last time I told a girl I work in investment banking, she said “so you offer investment advice?”
I doubt investment banking impresses anyone except for the chicks going after your wallet
Funny thing is that my family sure seems impressed that I work at a "famous bank" but just don't know what I do lol. My mom's been trying to set me up with guys ( I did not ask. She's just disappointed that I am 22 and single) and her opening line is "my daughter is so smart..works at XYZ bank.."...lmao
also the girl that you mentioned..I don't blame her completely..I mean it is called "INVESTMENT" banking
Wish I had more MS.
You are my least favorite type of person.
First of all, if you're being serious then you sound like a complete asshole. If you're aware of being an asshole and still compulsively do this, then it's you just wanting to be this way.
Anyway, here' a dose of reality. You are NOT an investment banker. You are a junior analyst that works in the banking division. You really don't know anything about the business, the reasons why you're doing what you do, and couldn't talk to a client even if you wanted to... let alone persuade them to do any business with you. So for that reason alone you can stop saying it.
Funny post.
I am sure it's written tongue in cheek with some level of truth - I used to give my business cards as an analyst to girls in clubs more than 12 years ago (that shows my age). In retrospective pretty dumb and useless move, but when you are both drunk and you are pumped up on arrogance and self assurance you have a higher than average chance of getting somewhere with that person regardless of environment or profession.
You are 20, I was in trading so got to go out a lot and have the stamina for it - you are earning for the first time in your life some real money - ENJOY! Priorities shift down the road, your friends of today are not your friends of tomorrow. The analysts in your grad class who are now your best friends, in 10 years time you might call one of them for a job but you don't see them anymore. etc...
Nothing wrong with being a bit of a douche bag early on in your life. Embrace it.
you were never the cool guy in school were you
It's ok, you'll outgrow it
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