Have any of you changed since doing finance or going to an Ivy League school?

Okay so I grew up pretty wealthy in the midwest. I used to be a person who treated everyone with respect and was not superficial by any means. However, when I got to college(a target ivy), I noticed a change when I started hanging out with students who were quote on quote, "fuck you rich." Old money, F500 executives, basically the people who run the world from behind the scenes and every-day people dont even fucking know it lol. I noticed that I have started assessing a person's character based on superficial merits such as what they are wearing, what watch they have, where they vacation, where they are working, etc. Furthermore, I have adopted a lax approach to drugs and just pure degeneracy. The fact of the matter is that I can most definitely find other friends but for some reason I am attracted to the glitz and glamour of the high finance lifestyle and the old money lifestyle. The women , the lavish parties in the Hamptons, etc. I am currently working in IB at a BB this summer and this has only amplified it. I feel as if I have absolutely changed and my parents are constantly on my case because they believe that I am extremely different from the child that they raised. However, I have noticed that in my cutthroat undergraduate business school(you all can probably guess it) the nice, humble people get squashed by the curve while the douchebags win and get the high tier jobs and such.

 

I grew up poor and went to a good college and work in finance now, and I mean, yeah, I spend more money and like nicer things and spend a lot more time with rich people than before (in high school we thought some girl was rich because she got a used Audi for her first car).

But, if you started judging people on dumb superficial shit and started doing drugs, I think that was just innate in you already and your environment made you comfortable with it. You can like spending money and spending time with people who have money without becoming openly elitist yourself.

 

Be careful with this kind of attitude and the way you approach people. You realistically don't know who has money and it will come back to bite you back. Someone in our class was completely average, dressed average and didn't look any what special. Literally, the person destroyed everyone flexing money because the person was smart and had ridiculous connections. Don't judge a book by the cover, read the chapters and thoroughly examine the book. In the end, the only person you are hurting is yourself.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"
 
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As one Midwesterner to another, this is disappointing - youre coming off like a straight up douche. You’re finding yourself arrogant and superficial because you have an bulge bracket IB internship? Humble yourself, you haven’t even received a full time offer - unless I read that wrong and you’re starting full time which even then who the fuck cares it’s bulge bracket IB which is far from a path to “old money” and it’s not like you’ve sold a start up for some fat hundred million dollar exit, or you’ve picked up a signing bonus from the NBA...there’s always bigger fish, and you boast about your “business school we all probably can guess” I bet there’s still bigger fish there and I’d love to imagine some of which peers don’t have this elitist attitude, I know plenty of Ivy League based Wall Street figures that are far from superficial , and a lax approach to drugs and degeneracy? Congrats who cares weed is basically legal and coke / ecstasy is done by a myriad of people both rich and poor, and lastly maintain the respect towards others, if you’re from the Midwest the least you could do is maintain that value and hold judgements like we’re known for. At the end of the day this is just a white collar industry it’s not some episode of Entourage. This post isn’t to get at you either, it’s just to put into perspective. I hope you reflect, enjoy life but also forget what other people wear or do and just grind and grow - because someone with pedigree from a top Ivy and a real sense of humility can always reach very very far.

 

I don't think you can blame finance and an undergrad business school for how you behave. Coming from a similar if not the same place, I would argue that many of the wealthy students don't flaunt their glamorous lifestyle. If anything, the richest of the rich are keen enough to stay under the radar and take their private jet without having to show everyone. No one knows where you went to vacation unless you tell everyone. Those kids that wear nice watches probably know little to nothing about watches - they only know "Rolex". You can enjoy the Gatsby lifestyle, but that's your choice. In the end, the school didn't force you. Your friends might've pressured you, but that's on you to take whatever substance.

The people you hang around and the life you live are not the majority, and I would put out there that a good amount of the great jobs go to genuinely good, humble people. Similar to other posts, you haven't made it. Working at a BB IBD (assuming NY) doesn't make you the top of the ladder, and that SA compensation isn't the thing that's paying for your lavish lifestyle. Try listening to your parents because I'm sure they didn't raise you to become the person you come off as.

 

You are still learning more about who you are as an individual at this stage in your life. Dig deep to understand your identity, drive and personal relationships. This superficial shit is attractive at first, but it does not matter.

tl;dr grow a spine and stay true to who you are

 
 
Perfunctory:
You are still learning more about who you are as an individual at this stage in your life. Dig deep to understand your identity, drive and personal relationships. This superficial shit is attractive at first, but it does not matter.

tl;dr grow a spine and stay true to who you are

Yeah, I agree with this note, and I think you're right. This kind of problem is an identity issue. You should be able to compete with people without losing yourself in the process. But you can if you don't know who you are.

 

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