Dream Wife
Okay guys, the title says it all. Who is your dream wife? As you wait for your elevator to go up to the top floor of your NYC $5MM condo, who is there welcoming you at the door? Or is she still working?
I am about to go into spouse recruiting and am curious what I should be filtering for? Prestige? Wealth? Great maternal instincts? Attractiveness? Her job?
Now, this is all hypothetical of course. In today's age, I ask the same question to the women monkey's on this website -- what does your ideal husband look like?
Please, live out your dreams below
At the moment, Sydney Sweeney
Based
Preferably someone who respects me, cherishes time spent with me, and who I could spend hours just talking to and never get bored with.
Failing that, Margot Robbie.
Madison Beer
Dua lipa please come home the kids miss you
What's your GPA cutoff for your spouse?
3.00
Ceiling, not floor.
We all know looks fade, so that cant be the only standout quality.
My gf is great. She's smart (sometimes smarter then me), funny, witty, feminine, has a great family, is a Christian like me, and has maternal instincts for sure. She could also be a super model if she was 5 inches taller lol.
You also attract when you exude
Problem is, women usually change considerably over time. For example, my friend was dating the coolest girl, then they got married and she was still fun and interesting. Then, she got pregnant and I no longer recognized her as a person. Her lighthearted, girly personality morphed into a Witch personality. I was talking to the wife of my friend about this. She said, "Oh yeah, the moment the kids come everything changes." That made my desire to get married fall off a cliff. It basically means that if you plan to have kids there's no reasonable way to project how (or who) your wife will be. This girl I'm thinking about who morphed--I know her mother well. Her mother is terrific. This whole experience has been disquieting.
Then just don't have kids, bro. You know you can choose to not have kids even if you get married?
So, what's the point of getting married then? Isn't the main reason to get married to create a stable family structure? If people don't want to have kids then what purpose does marriage serve?
You save on taxes as a household.
None, why would you get married if you don't want kids.
My wife's personality didn't change when we had kids. Neither did the personalities of my sisters, my wife's sisters, the wives of my brothers or brothers-in-law... so what you are referencing is not some rule of thumb ("no reasonable way to project who your wife will be").
I've heard some things about how women's personalities change when they get off the pill- even who they are attracted to can change. I wonder if this is the case- she gets off the pill to have a child and then becomes a different person. While on the other side, my wife, sisters, and in-laws do not use the pill and had no changes. Anecdotal, of course
Basically the pill makes them more open to guys who lack masculinity. So they come off the pill and realize they're with a beta and it doesn't end well.
Your anecdotes are as good as mine. Tons of men have reported that their wives change over time from being fun-loving and laid back to being cynical and depressed. My former boss married a fun and interesting woman who was fun in bed. Years into their marriage her brother died, morphing her personality into that of a depressed, unloving person who became anorexic and never touched her husband. This is a common theme in marriages--women marry a man assuming he'll change in certain ways for the better and men marry a woman assuming she won't change, and the opposite happens. This idea of marrying the "ideal" is just a fool's errand. You do your best with imperfect people. People WILL change over time, either for the better or for the worse, but they WILL change.
usually cuz she gets no fucking help for the burden they both created together
?
I am married to her, she is awesome.
-Quit a 6 figure job to be a mom (having kids soon)
-Deals with all the random stuff i hate like organization/taxes blah blah blah
-Super supportive.
-Way hotter than I think I deserve
My top mistake is not marrying her sooner! Stupid!!! :)
A few questions for you sir. How do you rationalize the last point about her being hotter than you think you deserve? How did you find and attract someone like that if you didn't believe you were good enough for her?
Haha I was being nice but after ~24 or 25 when you're dating, I think most people switch into dating looking for someone to marry/have kids with and that changes a lot of what they care about. Like for me, the no headache/drama + smart thing was > looks. Obviously looks matter too, but I really wanted a smart wife that I could talk to in a meaningful way.
Dude hit the lotto here, and congrats on the kid .Out of curiosity why do you want her to quit her job and take care of the kids? Honestly think I’d want her to take some time off but feel like I would want her to have things to do outside of the family.
1. If you do the math, after taxes, it's not that much more money that we would be making and immaterial to our lifestyle. We're both pretty cheap (she is worse than me lol) and even if my income went to 0 it's not a huge deal.
2. She did not love working. She was in credit at a pretty chill job but was not passionate about it. She really wants kids. Also, we both believe there is a lot of value in having a full time mom around.
3. She has quite a few hobbies and helps me stay organized + deal with all the stuff I hate. For example, my taxes are quite complex for a few stupid reasons, but she lead dealing with it + handles keeping our personal Quickbooks instance updated for the main hold co, chasing down docs we need, etc.
This here.
quitting job is an achievement? I think anybody would love to quit their job if somebody was paying their bills. and being a mom is just chilling at home and going out with a stroller. obviously it's much better than working. plus, she's not even a mom yet. you don't even know how she'll act when she is a mom. for now she's just doing nothing and living at your expense.
taxes? she filled out TurboTax for an hour per year? organization? she picks a restaurant to go to spend your money?
of course. you're working to pay her bills. why would she not be supportive.
I'm assuming you're in like 0.1% of top earners in US for your age. on top of that you sound like a great guy, who provides, licks boots, and doesn't ask for anything in return. why do you think you don't deserve a hot chick? there are broke ugly dumb high school drop-outs who pull hot chicks every week. you deserve to get one in your lifetime.
happy for you :)
maybe your mother was a xanax popping suburb bimbo who killed a bottle of wine every night, but any worthwhile mother of a family is quite literally never chilling lmao. what a horrid take.
There is no way anybody is doing my taxes with TurboTax lol...
To be fair, I think you oversimplified each, with far more to each than you might realize.
Also, I think achieving the scenario he described, is worthy of praise, not criticism.
I was thinking of expanding on this in greater detail; but for now, I will say that upon reaching a certain level, a lot of things are very different, compared to most people, including household, wife, taxes, etc.
I can assure you that it isn't 1 hour/year on TurboTax, when some might have 2-3 people working in the office on tax and related matters for a period of time, not to mention administrative tasks, related to certain tax strategies -- and if you print everything, it could be almost a full ream of paper in some cases.
There is a lot more to it than you assume.
Congrats
An NYC 7 or 8 from the Midwest that shares my values and is nice
NYC 7 is like midwest 10
Smart, confident, independent and I'm weak for sassy. Healthy banter is the soul of a fun relationship.
Hot, Catholic, 25 - 32. No kids, never married.
A biological female
Lol I love how we went from Sydney Sweeney as the first post to 'biologically female' in the last post
Setting realistic expectations I see...though if this thread is remade 10yrs from now I wouldn't be shocked if 'biologically female' is too high an expectation given the way society is moving
Just keeping up with the times and being realistic indeed. Happiness = Expectations - Reality.
Honestly just want someone who brings me peace and quiet, and doesn’t think they deserve everything in the world….which is a lot to ask for early to mid 20s nowadays…
I went on a date with my former girlfriend at the nicest restaurant in a small city. With wine and dessert it was $350. At the end of the meal she said - "that was such a good dinner. All I want when I'm married is to have a dinner like this every night."
Was a major turnoff for me. She felt she deserved everything, all of the time.
Exactly..sad thing is a lot of men will try to impress her and every date will look like that even if they can’t afford it…
Number one turn off for me is after a first date not saying thank you after I pay. Takes 2 seconds to say and doesn’t mean anything but I instantly think if you don’t say thank you you feel you deserve it and I hate that.
Went on a 1st date recently and I chose a small wine / tapas place and she was like thanks but honestly why pay for that and instead let’s buy a bottle of wine and make our own tapas. Loved that mind set.
hang in there brother...not easy but can be so worth it. there was about a week of events in my life that basically solidified my gf of 3+ years' importance to my life (other experiences throughout the relationship have made me realize how special she is, but this particular week made me realize she was wife material).
first - took me to zuma as a grad gift, footed the bill completely on her own...mind you she still had a semester to go at that time. we both worked 2/3 jobs in college. i came from a much better background than hers and probs didn't need to. of course i pay for her stuff here and there and foot the bill most of the times, but the fact she dropped almost a cool rack just baffled me... the material aspect of it was part of it, but more so just the idea that another person could even want to do that surprised me.
later that same week we went out with some friends for NYFW, bouncer was being a dick to my brother and I, (don't want to make it a race thing, but ironically all the white americans/europeans of the group basically told us to lawyer tf up), gf (european) stepped in and brought it up w management, ended up fucking the venue/bouncer over. can't share much about the situation (pm if interested to hear more lol) but my bro and i were ready to just suck it up, i think something in her clicked and i appreciate it. i think it showed me that if shit ever hit the fan in a serious moment, she wouldn't fold, would stick right there by my side, even if i was not confident in myself.
when i gained ~30 lbs and got pretty depressed w my work/post college life adjustment, i genuinely thought she would leave and i wouldn't blame her. i was not fun to be around. boy was i wrong. she was supportive, she was helpful, she even tried working some of her schedule around just so we could go to the gym together bc i lost any semblance of my gymbro routine.
of course relationships arent easy...while we were both in college i think we both struggled bc i felt like i was doing much more for her than i was getting...but i think once we both started working the 'flow' of the relationship got better (we probably both become more mature) i'm only 24, but i feel immensely lucky to have found someone who's lowkey, not particularly materialistic, who can give me space when i need it, who wants to save up and focus on making a good life for the future, has a big heart, and is super hardworking. not to mention, as a based G&T enjoyer, i love a woman who will try new Gins with me. i love this girl endlessly. even if it doesn't work out for the future, at least i'm glad I have gotten to see so many good qualities in not just a partner, but a fellow human being.
hang in there, i hope the same comes for you...
Hot, skinny, blonde. A tight you know what.
Nelly Korda /end thread
Ability to play golf on a basic level is a highly underrated trait in women. A life hack basically.
Stepford
Maria Zhang, simply the girl next door look.
I set the goals and execute the plan, my wife job is to support me in building our future. Everything else revolves around that. Most likely I have to find her in the Philippines/ or in south America. Western women, do not believe in my understanding of a wife.
I'm not into marriage, but I found someone who I plan to be with for life (5+ years going strong). qualities: kind, quiet voice, doesn't talk much, loves kids and animals, loves everything cute and pink, beautiful (naturally huge butt, big hips, big tits, hourglass shape), prioritizes my happiness, lets me do whatever I want to do (including banging other chicks), does what I want to do (I pick what we watch, what we do, where we go), faithful (plays with other girls but no boys), loves to cuddle, get pets, hold hands, sends me cute messages and cute gifs and videos, follows me when I move between cities, sacrifices her dreams for me (like having kids and getting married cause it's not what I want), submissive, kinky, degradee, little.
Hope this isn't real man 🤢
some people are just different, and especially in BDSM community. but you guys keep slaving away for selfish vanilla chicks that give you nothing substantial in return for hundreds of thousands of dollars you spend on them each year, which would make the hottest girls in Philippines do anything for you for life.
What the fuck did I just read
I'm very lucky that I'm married to her, so for you youngins out there, let me share what I've observed in successful marriages
as for looks, look at the mom assuming no weird health issues, ask yourself if that's acceptable to you because not all women will age like elizabeth hurley. for me, a nice brunette mediterranean is my type, think Theopisti Pourliotopoulou
on the above, notice I didn't filter for her family pedigree, prestige, etc., because that's a weak foundation for a marriage just as it's a weak foundation for a personality. in brief, shared values, physical attraction, a desire to make each other better, and a desire to share experiences together has seemed to work for me (16y together and counting)
The bro himself has spoken!
Curious how you get along with your wife’s family? I assume well, but I see a bunch of friends complain about their gf’s families…
Very well, we spend most weekends together, travel together, worship together, all the things, I'm very blessed
What age do you both get married at?
Late 20's, but we were long distance for 4 years after college, then lived together, married after living together 2 or 3 years
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