Feeling Disillusioned?

This topic has surely been beaten to death before, and I'm bound to get those who think I'm putting the cart before the horse, but I've been battling myself on this a lot lately. I keep reading more and more about IB - the sacrifice of your health, your time... I want to be able to do it, and I want to succeed and get an internship so that I can get a glimpse of it to make a more informed decision. But there are so many people on this forum (who honestly seem like the type to believe in things like 'alpha males'...) that just say if you can't handle it, then don't bother. But I want to hear more from those who are in it (ie, not college students) about where the stress really comes from, and what they do to manage it. I want to try IB for a time, and it does genuinely seem interesting to me, but I just struggle with really believing in myself that I could handle being constantly 'on' for two years. Is this something that you adapt to? Is this something you can adapt to (in a healthy way???) I've improved myself a lot after some years of really struggling with a lot, and my mental health is something I've become increasingly aware of. What makes the day survivable, enjoyable, doable despite the hours? IB is just one of the things I'd like to do, and so I think it's worth trying while I'm young. But in 2020, with a global pandemic, I find myself wondering: how would I do it if I'm even able to get there?

I hope this doesn't come off too whiny or anything- I'm nowhere near where I want to be yet. No official internship, still feeling shaky on technicals, anxious about networking. But I want to develop myself enough to BE there. To those of you who can relate, or those of you who used to feel this way, and have had on the job experience, what would you say to your past self? Is there any real way you could've understood what you were getting into? Was it more or less fratty/preppy/toxic than you expected?

Thank you to all who respond. I seriously appreciate it.

 

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