Vampire MD Update
With deal activity paused, I thought I would provide an update on my MD as I sip my morning quaran-tini
The garlic pills initially did their part, but the effects quickly wore off when I got hit with a Memorial Day morning fire drill, then Fourth of July all-nighter, then the real holidays started coming up and I realized the garlic pills were simply not cutting it for me…
I realized I needed to go further to avoid those last-minute evening “shouldn’t take you too long” / “let’s see a cut by morning” projects, so after diligently researching vampires from an episode of some little show called True Blood I had my solution – I would purchase a daylight lamp on amazon for my desk and get some holy water from a church nearby.
The second step was the tricky one, to avoid being noticed I brought a mini water bottle into Sunday Mass, waited around for people start ushering out then stuck when most people were outside and filled the water bottle ASAP and high tailed it out of there.
With the new lamp in place and still taking the garlic pills, I made a circle around my desk with the holy water. Every morning I would dab my forehead with a little holy water as well.
Things definitely improved! First Christmas and Thanksgiving I didn’t work! Boy, can you imagine my surprise…
While I am still unable to confirm he is immortal supernatural being, all I can say is things have definitely improved with a little sunlight and holy water. Although, another year or so has passed and I still have yet to see a mirror reflection… just saying seem a little odd, no?
Fast forward to present day, deals are paused and working from home I am beginning to regain my sanity. I’m writing for the first time since my last delusional quasi-breakdown a little over a year ago. I’ve even had time to get some 10-minute works outs in.
All and all, life has improved – for now.
If you or a loved one is suffering from Vampire MD syndrome, get yourself a daylight lamp, some holy water, garlic pills and get to it. We can fight this together.
P.S. a little morning quaran-tini definitely helps…
Glad you survived, @babyygotwacc. Did you not 1. check with HR for fear of retaliation, and 2. short the VIX?
lol what HR? that's not really a thing at our shop
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