9/17/12

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am very excited to apply to the Sales & Trading summer analyst role at [Bank name] because I am extremely passionate about the financial markets and actively follow the latest trends in the currency markets with profound interest. The rotational aspect of the program is particularly appealing as I am keen to extend my knowledge about the different asset classes especially Foreign Exchange and commodities whilst experience in the Sales and Trading roles will give me great exposure to the markets.

I am currently a penultimate year student, studying [My subject] at [Harvard Business school (I wish :)]. My rigorous academic training at university has provided me with a very strong background in the mathematical techniques required to successfully synthesise and analyse complex financial data. I believe my leverage in these areas coupled my exceptional analytical, problem solving and technical skills will allow me to make a significant positive contribution as a summer intern.

Additionally my experience in a demanding retail environment has developed my communication and interpersonal skills through successful customer dealings and also taught me how to deal with challenging clients and thrive in a fast paced, high-pressured environment of the trading floor. Furthermore I was a committee member of [ABC] charity weeks and as a result of my creative ideas and strategic decisions [ABC] charity week was able to raise $20,000 on campus and placed ABC 4th nationally. This experience proves my ability to work in a team whilst leading other committee members demonstrates my commitment and leadership skills that are essential to succeed in a rapidly changing environment of the financial markets.

My motivation to apply to [Bank] arises due to its outstanding global reputation and its commitment to developing talent that will be instrumental in shaping my personal development. I am further impressed by Morgan Stanley's recent initiative to buy MSSB from Citigroup which highlights the firm's commitment to increase its client base whilst also strengthening its competitive advantage in the industry. I believe my hunger for the financial markets and the opportunity to learn from highly intellectual employees at [Bank] will enable me to thrive on its meritocratic and collaborative culture and allow me to successfully serve its global clients.

Thank you for your time and interest, I have attached my CV and hope to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully
[My name]

Comments (14)

9/17/12

Any advice on how to improve this piece of sh*t

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9/17/12

Any advice on how to improve this piece of sh*t

9/17/12

*Less about you, more about the skills you bring to the table. People don't care about your passions, they want to know what they get out of you

*Don't explain what something shows...don't be so blunt...talk about work/leadership experience that demonstrates a characteristic without stating it.

9/17/12
9/17/12

This is advice from a current student so take it with a pinch of salt.

If you've been to any MS networking events / OCR / any contacts within Morgan Stanley S&T add their name.
"After speaking with (insert name here), an analyst on your Delta One desk"...whatever..you get my drift..I've gotten more bites by mentioning a contact.

I would not mention MSSB & Citi issue, your applying for S&T not MSSB brokerage, you will not be rotating in MSSB. Find an interesting story that didn't happen last month and that Sales or Trading were involved in. Check the journal and the FT.

[quote]"My motivation to apply to [Bank] arises due to its outstanding global reputation and its commitment to developing talent that will be instrumental in shaping my personal development. I am further impressed by Morgan Stanley's recent initiative to buy MSSB from Citigroup which highlights the firm's commitment to increase its client base whilst also strengthening its competitive advantage in the industry. I believe my hunger for the financial markets and the opportunity to learn from highly intellectual employees at [Bank] will enable me to thrive on its meritocratic and collaborative culture and allow me to successfully serve its global clients."[quote]

This in general needs an overhaul.

Sentences are too long. Its "thrive in" not "thrive on" unless your planning on eating the "meritocratic and collaborative culture"...by the way that also sounds forced.

In general learn to use commas and put down the thesaurus, some of it sounds Shakespearean.

9/17/12

I did talk about work experience and leadership experience in a charity event, isn't that the correct way and then said what skills I used or demonstarted..

9/17/12

Thanks for your comments by the way it hurts but hopefully worth it!

9/17/12

Needs a lot of work but I would definitely not use "whilst" more than once in a cover letter

9/21/12

Dear Sir/Madam,

Having carefully researched your business and its growing dominance in the global markets industry, I am very excited to apply to the Sales & Trading summer analyst role at Morgan Stanley. I hope to utilise my strong quantitative skills obtained whilst studying [subject] to extend my knowledge about the different assets classes. Moreover, experience in sales & trading roles will give me invaluable exposure to the financial markets and allow me to make a very significant contribution to your firm.

9/21/12

A repost of mine to give you an idea of how to frame it:

"In college, I majored in Economics, the 'science' of making choices in a constrained environment to help me figure out what motivates people. I minored in Philosophy to hone my art of bullshitting. Combining these two fields with my natural proclivities has allowed me to separate very large sums of money from untold quantities of people in my 14 year career on Wall Street. Knowing the ins and outs of several large product areas has given me the knowledge of where to best hide fees. This way, the client thinks they are getting a great deal while I am ripping their fucking face off. This has allowed me to garner repeat business from said targets giving me a recurring, high margin revenue base that is portable to your firm."

The point is: You need to show why they should hire you, not what interests you. Nobody cares much about your interests when hiring. In my example, I show that my expertise and relationship translate into high and recurring revenue...and I can bring it to their firm, if they hire me.

adapt or die:
What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

MY BLOG

In reply to SirTradesaLot
9/21/12
SirTradesaLot:

A repost of mine to give you an idea of how to frame it:

"In college, I majored in Economics, the 'science' of making choices in a constrained environment to help me figure out what motivates people. I minored in Philosophy to hone my art of bullshitting. Combining these two fields with my natural proclivities has allowed me to separate very large sums of money from untold quantities of people in my 14 year career on Wall Street. Knowing the ins and outs of several large product areas has given me the knowledge of where to best hide fees. This way, the client thinks they are getting a great deal while I am ripping their fucking face off. This has allowed me to garner repeat business from said targets giving me a recurring, high margin revenue base that is portable to your firm."

The point is: You need to show why they should hire you, not what interests you. Nobody cares much about your interests when hiring. In my example, I show that my expertise and relationship translate into high and recurring revenue...and I can bring it to their firm, if they hire me.

My above paragarph was an intro to cover letter, let me post more

9/21/12

Dear Sir/Madam,

Having carefully researched your business and its growing dominance in the global markets industry, I am very excited to apply to the Sales & Trading summer analyst role at Morgan Stanley. I hope to utilise my strong quantitative skills obtained whilst studying [Subject] to extend my knowledge about the different assets classes. Moreover experience in sales & trading roles will give me invaluable exposure to the financial markets and allow me to make a very significant contribution to your firm.

I am currently a penultimate year student, studying [subject] at University. My rigorous academic training at university has provided me with a very strong background in the mathematical techniques required to successfully synthesise and analyse complex financial data. I believe my leverage in these areas coupled my exceptional analytical, problem solving and technical skills will enable me to add value at Morgan Stanley and positively serve its global clients.

Additionally my experience in a demanding retail environment has developed my communication and interpersonal skills through successful customer dealings and also taught me how to deal with challenging clients and thrive in a fast paced, high-pressured environment of the trading floor. As a result of my leadership skills I organised a thoroughly successful charity event at university and helped raise $20,000 for ABC charity on campus. Furthermore my mentoring and teaching experience has given me great exposure on how to build a strong relationship with new clients and successfully serve their investment objectives. I believe the skills I posses will enable me to effectively carry Morgan Stanley's strong brand name in the industry and allow me to consistently make profits for the firm.

In reply to jacksparrow992
5/5/14

I think it improved a lot! I will use a couple of your ideas to polish mine! Thanks. By the way, how did it go? Did your cover letter proved to be effective?

5/9/14

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