CRITICISM NEEDED..will give SB.

Thoughts, opinions, ideas?

(GPA not listed, it's high in the last 60 hoursAlso not sure why the line under "Skills & Interests" isn't going all the way across, ignore please.

My goal isn't IB, but I would like some opinions. There is a lot you can learn from WSO.

 

What's your GPA?

You did the bike transit service for a month?

Line is messed up below skills and interests

Those are really your interests?

 

"• Utilized 40% of profits to cover school-related expenses such as rent, textbooks, and tuition • Awarded remaining profits (60%) to outstanding high school seniors in the form of a scholarship"

Take that out.

 
anon100:

"• Utilized 40% of profits to cover school-related expenses such as rent, textbooks, and tuition
• Awarded remaining profits (60%) to outstanding high school seniors in the form of a scholarship"

Take that out.

Gotcha. Any reason why? It was something I did for some inner-city seniors at my old high school. I can see how it would make me seem less "profit-driven" because I gave the majority of my earnings away to kids that needed it.

 

More the first point that I was referring too - I think it would be better to say "-Donated the majority of profits as scholarships to high school seniors who demonstrated need" That takes up one less bullet and can round it out a bit better. Doesn't have much to do with being profit-driven - it's an awesome thing that you did that, just have to fix up way of sharing it

 
Best Response
anon100:

"• Utilized 40% of profits to cover school-related expenses such as rent, textbooks, and tuition
• Awarded remaining profits (60%) to outstanding high school seniors in the form of a scholarship"

Take that out.

My first thought is to agree with this - but it is a really nice point that you might be able to bring up in an interview. Certainly makes you seem like a really nice person. Perhaps reduce it to one bullet point saying you started a scholarship with it hashtag no big deal. Also I'd be slightly more interested in your role starting it. Emphasize why you're so damn entrepreneurial and business savvy.

As far as the Large Urban School District job, its your most far away job, you can put the least about it, but make it count. What did you accomplish with those kids "took lowest performing 25 kids to the top 50% of scores in these subjects" or something. Just one nice accomplishment would probably do under that headline.

Your Metro Planning Org experience looks really good. I like the numbers. Again though, if you can throw in an "accomplishment" that might be worth mentioning. "found new opportunity for revenue/cost savings/won bid" dunno what you might have your hands in there.

 

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