Best Response

Not bad, but here are my suggestions or what I would like to see:

Get rid of "Experience Gained" entirely and just talk more about what the job entailed, also because it's inconsistent with your first bullet point.

Why do you have Finance Club as your top one? Definitely make it your Small PWM firm because the timing works just as well. Just asking but why is Finance Club under experiences but Hedge Fund Club under activities? I would consider a club more of an activity anyways, so you might want to consider moving it there.

There's no numbers under any of your experiences. You should be as detailed as possible with these and use as many numbers as possible. Also, I would add another bullet to the small PWM firm because that's more related to finance and seems like it's given you more experience.

Add skills section. Languages. Anything related with computers or directed towards the job you're looking into. When you say you're going into banking, is it IBD? S&T? You should direct your skills towards these jobs. You can take them straight from your "Experienced Gained" section.

Your activities/interests section is just terrible in general. Some of these were done in the past and some of them are current? It seems weird that you have the header as Activities and Interests but 95% of everything under that section is under Activities and one bullet point for interests. I would not write your interests like a sentence - it sounds really informal using the "I" form. Just list them, such as: lacrosse, exercising, and personal investing.

Hope it helps!

 

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