They say mo money mo problems, bring on the problems

They say mo money mo problems, bring on the motherfucking problems.

Don’t bring on the problems. I couldn’t give a shit about money. I feel in this moment a lot of aspects of my life have been destroyed. Fuck this stupid ass job. Money isn’t everything. I laugh because I read those threads 2 years ago and thought whoever wrote that was bugging. Just wait till you go through it.

I’m going to escape. This is anon so nobody will know who I am. But mark my words I’m gone.

 

I’m just ranting

I wonder if my life would have turned out a completely different way had I gone down another path. I think I felt so happy when I got my offer and “figured it out.” But yet I’ve felt so fucking unhappy.

To be honest. I don’t think I would tell anybody in my real life this. But every day I think about killing myself. And I kinda laugh thinking about how my stupid ass bank would react to it. Knowing they’d say some fake ass fucking shit.

This is baking. I hate it. I hate it so much. And PE is at the end. But it’s not. That shit is just as bad. And you have to survive 2 years of fucking dogshit torture to even make it there.

I want to be hopeful for the future. I hope I can come back in a few months and share how I’ve changed my life. We’ll see. signing off.

✌️

 

To be honest. I don't think I would tell anybody in my real life this. But every day I think about killing myself. And I kinda laugh thinking about how my stupid ass bank would react to it. Knowing they'd say some fake ass fucking shit.

Hey man I feel this on a spiritual level lol. I don't think I'm at the point where I'm thinking about ending it all, but every day at my old bank (where I just gave my notice) felt like an eternity with all the toxicity and bad culture instituted from the top down. It felt like everyone remotely in a managerial capacity had hit the snooze button and pushed all the pressure down the chain to the associates/analysts. I couldn't take it anymore for the sake my physical and mental health and started to seek out other opportunities. 

With a good offer in hand, I feel like this is an opportunity to start afresh and reinvent/rebrand myself in a new environment. I get the "grass is always greener on the other side" mindset, but I honestly don't think it can be worse than my old bank. 

I agree with what le_monke said in that your mental and physical health should always come before your work. Feeling un/underappreciated will show in your work, destroy your confidence and distort your own perception of yourself. 

Take care and don't do anything to harm yourself. There are more people who care about you than you think. Best of luck!

 
Most Helpful

Hey man I know it's a cop out response to a post like this, but seriously prioritize mental health over your job. There's a look of great therapists out there if you haven't checked one out. I've been consistently seeing a psychologist since college for my issues and it's been a real game changer in my life.

Obviously you're older than me and you've been in banking a year longer than I have, so you know more about this than I do. But why don't you just coast at your current bank until you land a job at something a lot chiller like corp fin, corp dev, wealth management, etc? Worse comes to worse they fire you, but sounds like getting out of banking is what you need right now anyway. Also you're what only 23 / 24? Feel like this is just the beginning of the journey for you, and having IB under your belt (even though you heavily regret it) will open up so many doors for you outside of PE. I wish I were more experienced to give good advice, but I do know that suicide is never the solution to anything. Especially when it comes to this job and these stupid fucking banks

 

I appreciate it. A lot. I appreciate just someone listening.

I am seeing a therapist. And it helps. But there’s some things I think I am just dealing with, alone.

I hope you have a good year. I hope your bank treats you well and in 12 months you can look back and feel like you learned enough that it was worth it. I feel like I remember being in that position a year ago and then how much things have changed. But I seriously hope it turns out for you. You’re probably well aware that this year will be especially hard, but I’m rooting for you.

 

At least you didn't switch IB to PE for a 30% paycut, exactly the same working hours with 10x stress and 90% of admin work. 

MM PE is a fucking hell.

 

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