Banker Douche vs Consultant Douche

I'm trying to catalogue and differentiate some identifiable attributes that select members of the banking and consulting communities display. While the species appear on the surface of the same breed, there is a high degree of differentiation in their douchey ways. Here are some of the attributes of each:

1) Banker douche:
-Enough grease products on hair and body to fry a pack of bacon
-Enjoys a good paddling from an elder (extension of his frat boy days)
-Practices to set the record time in Training the Street's shortcut key challenge
-3.5 GPA Economics and calls himself a 'quant'

2) Consultant douche:
- Think of 'clueless MBA'
- Former debate team captain
- biggest risk taken in life is driving past UPenn on the way to Princeton
- the smartest most value-add person on the planet; would've started Google except didn't know which 2x2 matrix to put it in
-despises bankers except needs them

Although both tend to also have a cock hanging out of their mouths as well (usually Henry Kravis's), both species tend to have exclusive traits...any others that you've noticed? Please list them out...

 

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Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?

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