Older monkeys, have you ever wondered “what if”?

Bump

I was one of those people that stayed back. My life is honestly great.

I think about this a good amount. Really starts with the college decision, staying in your own state / within 2hrs driving distance or going far away. In today's world geo mobility is crucial for career success. I'm looking for a new job and limited myself to 2 geos (my current one and my hometown) -- this alone drastically limits my opportunity set even though I'm coming from a top shop / target undergrad / CFA. I have other friends who are also looking but don't care much where their geo is (outside of eliminating maybe 2-3) and they have WAY more shots on goal.

But at some point you have to decide what's important to you and to what extent. I value my friends and family WAY more than I did post graduation. I go home frequently to see my parents and friends in my hometown right now, but longer term my preference would be to move closer to them. We'll see what ends up panning out, but you're completely on the money on this struggle. All the money in the world can't buy time with your loved ones 

I wish sometimes that I'd gone to college near home now, but then again I 99% wouldn't have ended up with the career success I've experienced thus far and hopefully am set to have as I transition up at some point. If we were born a few generations earlier, the story would've been different but these are the cards we're dealt. I suppose life is full of tradeoffs, especially modern life where we seemingly have endless choice (though I'd argue lower levels of happiness / contentment)

Yes, but my "what if" is different. Instead of thinking about how comfortable I would have been, I can only think what a depressive and unfulfilling life - through my current lens - I could have led (by looking at classroom colleagues, acquaintances, etc.)  The fact that I accomplished 3-5 years ago something that my 16 y.o. self considered impossible for him speaks on how fruitful my journey has been, and maybe the most important lesson that I grabbed from that is that you can't understand how low quality your life is until you don't experience the other side (e.g. being unhealthy vs. being healthy, one can't just rationalize it, instead one must feel it by living it). For instance, maybe something that I couldn't even envision as an adolescent was that I would end up living in 8 countries (>6 months) which I'm proud of (huge savings, logistics, and a combination of using my university & professional perks). 

So if you're younger, don't settle so fast, take risks, try new things, be open to new ideas, and throw the bag over the fence & then figure out how to jump it - because from such a place you can only go up, as I did.

Not older, but I'd say this is a common thing. You always wonder the other side, but it boils down to " this is difficult, and this other side is difficult, choose your difficult", for example, it's difficult to try and stay in shape, but its also difficult to be out of shape (health is bad, you don't feel great on the daily). So if you'd have stayed local, you'd probably wonder what would have happened if you left. 

Thing is, you only get to do it once, so just do what  you feel you enjoy, don't do anything in excess. 

One other tidbit, if you get a chance go watch the movie "The Family Man" starring Nick Cage. It's about how he's a big business guy but gets a wish to what his life would have been like if he never left his hometown, but he retained memories. 

Very real grass is greener. Can give you the complete opposite perspective. I started off in med school and was fully planning to do just that, graduate and qualify and work in a sleepy suburban town earning good money and living in a nice community. It was a good dream and I would've been content but no way whatsoever would I be fulfilled. Its nice visiting these type of people but you feel paralysed by constantly being around unmotivated people. Once I started getting into finance I realised I love the thrill of the action and being in the centre of what's happening. Also constantly competing to be at the top.

I can tell you firsthand that no amount of dopamine from having a good nice life can match the euphoria you feel from winning at something you grinded for. You only get this feeling from working at the top level in competitive industries.

Yeah I could've felt quite nice about helping people, living in a nice suburban community but it would've left a deep unfilled hole inside of me and I never would've been truly happy. Of course you have to be a certain type of person for this but I'd imagine most people in IB are.

I'd probably be an oncologist. Got a full ride to the local university's direct admit med school program. Would've gone there with 30+ other kids from my high school including my 2 best friends and probably had a great time. I did the whole pre med shindig with MCAT, research, etc. at the college I did end up going to so I'm reasonably sure I would have ended up a doctor. Probably would have ended up moving for residency and fellowship eventually, though who knows where.

Instead I picked up a double major in business, realized that a desk job with lots of free food/perks right out undergrad was pretty attractive and the work was interesting enough. Besides that, I met a lot of really cool people in college. Hard to say what would have happened had I stayed but, but I don't really have any regrets over what-ifs/could have beens.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Happiness is a state of mind - not a place. 

Each of these hypothetical cases could result in equal unhappiness. For me, I wonder what would have happened if I pursued harder and more taxing career options - and took more risks. It's because I'm doing very well right now where I am, I have a significant other, and I have been blessed with good fortune. 

I do wonder about the impact certain decisions had on other areas of my life, even good decisions can close doors, but I don't think I made the wrong decision with the information I had.

My best advice is analyze your life decisions thoroughly. Try to always live several years in the future thinking what would be the best thing to do today. If you do this to the best of your ability, looking back will you ever be able to say you did something wrong? You simply did your best.