Uncle Sam Wants You - and Your Dirty Money

Take this as a warning – if you participated in any shady business last year, the IRS is still expecting their “fair” share.

According to an article on MSN Money this morning, regardless of how you got your cash, you still have to fork some over to the Government (hey – someone’s got to pay for the 2008 bailouts).

Included under this umbrella of illegal activity are profits from drug dealing, theft and accepting bribes. In fact, they even spell out where to report your illegal income on your tax forms:

”Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.”

If you don’t report it and they find out, you’ll most likely find yourself as someone's prison bitch for the next 8-10 years. It’s a beautiful catch 22, really. Who knows, maybe there’s a chance you could bribe the IRS not to let law enforcement in on your little side dealings. Just kidding - we all know the IRS is always on the up and up.

The bottom line is the IRS doesn’t care where the funds come from as long as they can get their grubby little hands on it so all you dirty bastards out there, be forewarned.

 

Can you be arrested for reporting this? Not that anyone would unless they are incredibly stupid.

So what do you do? -I work for an investment banking firm. Oh okay; you are like my brother, he works for Edward Jones. -No, a college degree is required in my profession

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 

thats why i take all my illegal compensation in the form of beer. heck, thats where all the money is going anyways.


We're about to enter a Great Depression. Don't you want a president who's already dressed for it?

------------ I'm making it up as I go along.
 
Best Response

Consequuntur eligendi aut ducimus. Temporibus est voluptatem nemo accusamus vel sunt.

Quis ut aut id recusandae quibusdam. Voluptatem magni molestiae qui. Voluptates ullam nihil nihil cupiditate accusamus architecto. Laboriosam non doloribus totam ea perspiciatis ea provident laborum.

Dolore placeat non neque neque sunt porro occaecati. Corporis incidunt earum nemo doloremque. Dolor quae ad inventore ratione natus minima rerum.

Quia rerum voluptatem soluta ut delectus. Debitis corrupti quam fugiat error at est ea.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (65) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (199) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
5
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
9
Kenny_Powers_CFA's picture
Kenny_Powers_CFA
98.8
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”