The Next Greece: Is It Curtains for California?

If California were its own sovereign nation, its GDP would rank 8th among the world's 195 countries. Luckily, California is not a country, because that would mean Arnold Schwarzenegger would be Supreme Commander of the Kingdom of California. (And, by extension, that the pregnant star of the film "Junior" would be a king...) Don't think too hard on that one, your brain might explode.

Then again, between 1981 and 2005, California paid about $4.08 trillion in federal taxes, while the federal gov'ment spent about $3.5 trillion in and on the state (and managed to accrue its own $3.8 trillion debt) over the same period. So maybe a secession is in order?

Either way, you have to admit that pain in California means pain for the whole country (until we get that marijuana prescription!!!!) And California has got the Scarlet Fever. Unemployment is at 13 percent. The state's lugging around a budget deficit of about $26 billion, which doesn't even include the $200+ billion in loans and unstated debts. To put this in perspective: Greece was at a mere $17 billion after their recent "austerity" bandaging. What's more, CA has the lowest S&P rating of any state in da Union, millions in funding go to overcrowded prisons and detaining illegal immigrants, not to mention fighting drought-inspired wildfires.

Then there's CA's Public Employee Retirement System (CALPERS!), the nation's single largest retirement fund, which pays benefits to 1.6 million state employees. It's f**ked. Its liabilities are up 2,000 percent while revenues are up just 26 percent ... in less than 20 years it'll be bankrupt. Did I mention the ridiculous rate of foreclosures? Aaaaand a diseased paaaartridge in a sickly pear treeeeee. Had enough?

Type "California is the next Greece" into Google and find 14 million results. The state is well on the road to being bailed out and owned by Germany. (Ahnold would prob love that.) Robot maven Meg Whitman or local hippie Jerry Brown will be handed the keys to this Lusitania, and it'll be some time before either can affect any real change or reform the state's crazy legislative system. Cue Nelson Muntz.

BUT, rather than a bailout (which would just be like throwing money into a giant pit), or some other lame solution, why not institute some tax reform? A new constitution? Do away with all this direct democracy referendum hooha?

Obviously, creative solutions to reining in its deficits abound in CA. Chief among them is this bill, in which CA drivers' license plates would be made digital in order to support advertisements. Essentially, your digital license plate would display your license code while your vehicle is moving, and show ads when you're stopped. In CA's car culture, this could mean hundreds, literally hundreds, in state revenue -- and really spice up traffic time. Nothing like being caught in traffic with the chance to catch up on those Geico commercials you missed.

I can give you 84 reasons why that bill won't make it past the water cooler, so clearly we're out of ideas in CA, any suggestions that don't involve taxing marijuana or advertising on cosmetic sugeries? Could we get cash for this clunker?

 
Best Response

BluesHill, right you are, sir, Ahnold is Austrian. BUT, if I've got my history right (pushing glasses up nose), Austria was annexed by Germany in 1938, joining Greater Germany in the Anschluss (sounds like a wet fart) under the Nazis. Where it remained a part of the Axis of Evil, until after WWII. What's more, Ahnold's dad was a Nazi, served in WWII, and was part of the SA. So I guess it was kind of a stretched low-blow at Ahnold for his Nazi roots. Is it weird I know all this? (Don't answer that.)

 
DoctorEvil:
BluesHill, right you are, sir, Ahnold is Austrian. BUT, if I've got my history right (pushing glasses up nose), Austria was annexed by Germany in 1938, joining Greater Germany in the Anschluss (sounds like a wet fart) under the Nazis. Where it remained a part of the Axis of Evil, until after WWII. What's more, Ahnold's dad was a Nazi, served in WWII, and was part of the SA. So I guess it was kind of a stretched low-blow at Ahnold for his Nazi roots. Is it weird I know all this? (Don't answer that.)

Niiiice! I would add the infamouns "Habsburg Jaw" to your volatile brew.

 

DoctorEvil, as a Californian, I'm as pessimistic as your are. I think immigration is important to CA, and has shaped to state into a very (positively) diverse area. But, what we are witnessing is the flooding of tax users (immigrants), and the leaving of tax payers, to states like Colorado for example. Like you described CALPERS, the state has not seen that top line (revenue) outpace the growth of the liabilities.

What is even more scarier is the state of public schools in California. They are awful! I know, I went to them! ha. And they are getting worse. Prisons are nicer than the schools in this state, probably explains why there are so many people in jail.

Bottom line, California will eventually need some government assistance. F*cking sad!

Yours truly, The Young Investor
 
The Young Investor:
Wow 'brotherbear', you got me. Sorry about that. I thought this post was a casual conversation and not a formal inquiry for proper grammar.

Take care.

Kids these days, don't know $h!t about "The" Oasis.

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path" -Frank Underwood
 

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