Depressed about job prospects - Ending life
Graduated from a target and have been grinding non-stop. Worked extremely hard to transfer from a non-target to that target and relentlessly pursued opportunities until I received a SA/FT offer at a dream firm. I embraced the humility in being the underdog and never giving up as I wanted to compensate my family for the immense sacrifices they made for me while being in this country. I still recall those summer nights during my childhood / adolescence where I dreamed of a better life - a golden future where they no longer had to face the constant humiliation they faced. Seeing that opportunity crumble didn't deter me initially into breaking back in. However, after hundreds of failed application across the entire corporate spectrum for months on end and seeing all my personal relationships beyond my family wane away, I feel like a complete failure and genuinely just want to give up on life entirely. I had been used to continual failure but for some reason I am very exhausted now and it irks me to see very trivial things out of my reach decide my life. Some recruiters have privately expressed that other candidates simply had "closer ties" - whatever that means. I honestly don't know what to do anymore as I did all the "right things" and still failed. An eternal sleep sounds better than grinding out in a purposeless reality
Hi, I've also been grinding for a role since December. You can do everything right and still fail, there are other factors simply out of your control like the shit hiring market we're in. Layoffs across the board has also flooded the market with strong talent, tough to compete against them as recent grads. Just keep at it, things will work out. I'm currently looking into other roles besides IB to use as a stepping stone once the market opens up. Plenty of examples online of folks that have broken in 1-3 years postgrad from a variety of roles, its not make it or break it right now. Keep your head up
Not to be an ass but if the recruiting process has you this down you probably reconsider going into IB at all. It's not known for being great for mental health and you sound like you don't handle stress well.
I would look for FP&A gigs or something more tame for your first gig. Slow and steady. You don't need be be a rockstar, save your entire family from poverty, buy your mom a new house, etc. your first few years out of college (and working as an IB Analyst isn't going to accomplish any of that for you anyway). Nor do you need to hurl yourself off of a roof because you didn't get a job fast enough and thus feel doomed to eternal failure (completely ridiculous mindset).
Find a job that pays you enough to live decently, don't try and be a savior, don't be a schmuck, make some quality friends, get some hobbies, save wisely and just take it the fuck easy.
This is great actionable advice. You don’t have to honor all your ancestors, move your family into the Hamptons, and secure intergenerational wealth for all your progeny in your first job out of college. You think life is over but your life literally hasn’t even begun yet. I got news for you; the first job isn’t the end or even close to the end, it’s just the very beginning of your career story. People climb to the top from shitty first jobs and people fall from grace from the best first jobs; there are no guarantees. The road ahead is full of challenges.
You currently have a very narrow mindset. Your first job doesn’t define your career, and your first company doesn’t need to be the one you retire from. Most successful MDs don’t even start IB until 28-32 after other starter jobs, MBAs, etc. Not to mention the thousands of other professionals, CEOs, CFOs, partners, etc that started in jobs that they maybe weren’t excited about but they kept with it, immersed themselves in it, got excited about it and the rest is history. I personally know dozens (literally, dozens) of people that started in non-IB finance roles and jumped into IB or adjacent fields. I know dozens more that aren’t in this industry at all and are doing great. You might get a role in IB at this time or for any number of reasons you might not, but open up your search to ALL the possibilities.
This is hard to do when you’re young because you think you know everything better than everyone, but you must adopt the mindset and curiosity of a student, an apprentice, a beginner. You don’t get to decide the best job, the best company, the best industry, and aim for only that and be depressed if you don’t get it. You haven’t done anything yet. Your job is to think what CAN you do, what opportunities DO you have in front of you, and CAN you extract the absolute most from them. You have to go from your current mindset of scarcity and finality to a new mindset of abundance and exploration and curiosity. Life isn’t a linear path that you get to decide, it’s a journey where you have to respond and make the most of whatever comes at you. Imagine if a 5’10 180 LB male with a knack for math was depressed and wanted to off himself because he couldn’t be a center in the NBA; that would be insanity, that would be a complete refusal to respond to life as it comes at him.
In early college summers I was working fast food while others were doing fancy internships, but fast forward a few years later I’m gonna clear well over $300 grand this year with a huge salary bump, signing bonus, a promotion etc. It wasn't always easy to get here (it was super hard), I wasn’t always excited about every step I had to take in between, but I always kept hope and kept moving forward. That’s all it is.
I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from Don Draper: “Everything to you is an opportunity.”
He has no experience! They are complaining about how they’re under qualified and lack ~ they have more resources than any other generation! Imagine the pressure and level of expectations when his career goes down ? He going to bounce back ? Their reason why you have behavioral questions!
Such a great show
Job market sucks right now for most m&a. Only sectors I know of hiring are FIG and infra. Even then, infra shops I work with are pumping the brakes hard.
the thing is that there are a lot of jobs out there, a lot of lesser known ones that pay competitively. Maybe this is your sign that you should try applying to other roles and then keep banking as a post-MBA thing.
to be completely honest, if this kind of thing induces suicidal urges then you should really consider a less sweaty path. That’s one great thing about the MBA reset - most people need a little more time to develop to a point where they can deal with relentless high stress. resilience is a lifelong journey that tests you time and again.
That’s not bad, life is long and careers aren’t linear. WLB preferences are unique to the individual. Not having a job that you pedestalize doesn’t make you a failure, the truth of life is you should work only to the point where you can afford the lifestyle bundle you want that brings you the most efficient happiness.
making 300k vs 200k doesn’t change much in your life in most cities. I’ve worked for several people who chose money over all else, one MD who was ex Cerberus sees his family 1 month a year because they hate how much of an ass he is. He does have a garage of nice cars to go home all alone to, though. If that’s your thing.
Stop. Step back and remember why you started this journey in the first place. Remember all of the hard work you’ve part in and how much you’ve grown. Remember that this is MEANT TO BE HARD, it is not supposed to be easy.
From the sound of it you have an incredible story, use this to your advantage. Show interviewers and recruiters how truly passionate you are. Refine your approach, take note of mistakes you may have made in interviews. Be humble and honest with yourself.
The only true failure is one that quits without exhausting all resources and has no plan B. A failure is absolutely NOT a graduate from a target school that worked their A** off to transfer in.
In the meantime of recruiting for FT take an internship or project role if you want, go better yourself in other aspects of your life outside of IB. You’ve got this, believe in yourself. Cheers brotha, good luck!
Welcome to finance !
lol
You’re a fresh grad. Nobody is going to bat an eyelid over the long term when looking at your career if you’re not able to secure immediate IB employment right after graduating in the worst job market for two decades.
I never love to say “it could be worse”, because one person’s struggles do not negate your own. I get that you’re feeling bad, and that’s valid. But I will offer some perspective: I have, in the last three months, seen countless seasoned professionals with 5-15 years of experience get axed. Good people, who are good at what they do, cut genuinely not due to their performance but due to company position. These people have mortgages, children to feed, car finance to pay, and more. What makes it worse is that there will always be grad roles. These people cannot really go and apply to an analyst role: they are too experienced and will not be hired. Thus, they are relying on a non-existent experienced hire market. Put simply: they are, for the time being, fucked.
As I said, I’m not telling you this as an implication that you shouldn’t feel bad about your situation. The reason I’m saying this to you is to point out that your situation isn’t nearly as bad as you think it is, and whilst it may feel like it now, it’s going to have little to no impact on both your overall career and non-career life in the long run. You will be fine.
Feel this. Could be a sign to toughen up and join the military.
Great advice for someone who wants eternal sleep nice
hey friend, i am dealing with the same stuff here - please pm if you need to talk or need resources.
so sorry to hear that you are also dealing with the same stuff.
Perhaps post some resources here. Some could use it and may not reach out.
dont kill yourself over investment banking. this job REALLY sucks sometimes.
some people work 2 months and realize joining IB was a HUGE MISTAKE and desperately try to leave. Reasonable chance that could be you.
hell, some people join IB and become suicidal BECAUSE THEY ARE IN IB. And you are thinking of ending it because you can't break in?
You have no idea if you will even like this job. Theres a reasonable chance you join and realize it was the biggest mistake of your life to waste so much time and effort to be a IB analyst that moves around logos and eats seamless in a conference room every night......
Im not trying to be cliche, but not doing this job might be the best thing that ever happened to you. You truly don't know. So go forward doing the best you can and dealing with whatever opportunities arise. And the end of the day you are the following which is an amazing position to be in in retrospect:
1. A graduate from an elite college
2. Young and without any real responsibilities (you DO NOT need to take care of your parents/extended family....that is their problem as you are an adult)
I grinded all through out high school to get into a top university, then grinded all throughout college to get into IB. I quit in August after just 13 months. Everyone I worked with was against me, and I had no choice. Now, It's been about 8 months, and I have yet to land another job. I can't even land a regular Joe-schmo job. FML, suicide isn't the answer but I do wish I did not exist. I hate where I am in life right now. I sympathize with you.
hey friend, i am dealing with the same stuff here - please pm if you need to talk or need resources.
so sorry to hear that you are also dealing with the same stuff. wishing us all the best during these times.
This is not the place to be seeking advice based on the red flags in your post. Please do not harm yourself and seek help thru your schools counseling network or suicide prevention line, you can text message or call 988.
You are ahead of 99% of the world with your education alone and living in a country that has finance opportunities or any white collar opps at all. Your parents and family want you alive bro, that is for damn sure.
seek help and good luck
If you make your life about IB of course you’re going to feel this way. Let me give you some humble pie. We are in a downturn market, lots of laid off bankers are applying to these positions. They’re in the same boat as you with experience. What makes you think you deserve to be in IB rn? You need to start somewhere whether it’s lmm, a tiny boutique or even a boiler room, fuck or something else. There’s no shame in it. U don’t need to give up on your dream but you need to be realistic of what you can accomplish today.
I am a laid off banker and I have experience, and I come from a target. I am struggling to close, and ofc I’m gonna tell you straight up that basing your entire mental health around IB is a bad idea.
Don’t give up but be realistic of what you can accomplish today.
https://www.indiatoday.in/technology/news/story/nvidia-ceo-says-he-wishes-pain-and-suffering-for-students-asks-gen-z-to-lower-expectation-2514676-2024-03-14?utm_source=washare&utm_medium=socialicons&utm_campaign=shareurltracking
Headline is misleading. Jensen's argument is that kids should go through "suffering" to develop resilience (like him cleaning toilets and being a dishwasher), not because of his sadistic desire or hatred towards the younger generation.
Possibly, but I myself immediately understood what he was conveying before even reading the content.
Go outside and sit in the sun for a few minutes and just think. Remind yourself that in our life your past is not indicative of your future, and think of a few of the many examples of people in our world that have become very successful from backgrounds that they had probably no line of sight from at the time.
Then, go to the gym. Just do a little bit of everything. Half an hour. Get a sweat in, nothing too serious. From there, call one or two of your family members you have great memories with and just talk about anything. Think about how hard you have worked. Think about your lineage. Think about all that lies ahead of you. It is a drop in the bucket.
God gives his hardest battle to those he knows are strong enough to handle them, and then learn from them. You are able to come out on top. We are all confident you can take something positive from this struggle that you will keep with you forever as you continue to learn and grow. Praying for you.
You are young, been unlucky/hard done with recruitment process and feeling depressed - this is completely understandable. I have been through this; having lost my dream IB job very early on in my career and having to settle for a much inferior role but it has has worked out just fine at the end. (9+ years of experience).
My advise would be chin up as being from a target uni you are already ahead of 90% of the curve, remember there is more than one way to skin the cat and M&A at EB/IB is not the be all end all. Treat job apps like college apps and set target / reach / back -ups.
1) IB at EB/BB
2) IB at MM / European/Asian banks
3) Corporate Banking at BB / Major US banks (Wells fargo et all)
4) Big 4 Advisory
5) Any other IB/Advisory at LMMM
6) Analyst at Rating Agencies
6) FP&A at F500
7) Big 4 Accounting/Consulting
8) Accounting/Consulting at smaller firms
9) MO roles at BB (Credit Risk / Finance / Product control)
10) MO roles at regional banks
And this list goes on.. I can guarantee if you land at any of these 10 categories (and maybe a few more) you will do just fine as long as you keep grinding. I have actually come across some of these best seniors who have started off at smaller shops as they tend to be humble and more grounded than the cocky b***** from GS/MS etc.
Its completely okay to take a year out / do odd jobs and keep applying - its pretty much guaranteed you will find something at the end.
Move 4 and 5 above 3. Corporate banking is putting all your eggs in one basket if you're attempting to lateral to IBD at that BB.
I get that Spurs still havent won a trophy in decades but this is a bit of an overreaction
never give up, i managed to land a role 3 yrs post graduation
everything happens for a reason
pray and do good
Read the story of the Chinese farmer. Sometimes shortfalls can be blessings in disguise. Keep grinding man and at the end of the day it's just a job.
I'm sorry man
Remember, there is hope, and people care about your well-being. You are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate through this challenging period. Please prioritize your mental health and seek assistance from qualified professionals.
I don't disregard your emotions and mental health, far from it, but I think it's extremely utterly stupid to let a soulsucking job cause you that. Please reconsider your life priorities or if you still want to do IB work on your mental thoughness.
Also, call a suicide line before taking any stupid decision.
I have my own principles.
I don't want to be stepped on for a lifetime.
Do you think I'm a beggar?
I've waited for three years,
just to wait for an opportunity.
I want to fight back,
not to prove how amazing I am,
but to show everyone
that I will reclaim what I have lost.
Feel free to dm if you need a chat. Wish you the best
I've been there at age 18 and had an actual suicide attempt and almost died. Suicide is not the answer. If you think it is your only option, dial 911 and they will take you to inpatient care. It gets better. It gets easier. You can get through this.
is this a troll? listen man. life aint ever that deep. take some time off. do some shrooms or something. gain some perspective. youre gonna be ok.
Did you just say "life aint ever that deep" to someone suicidal? Seems like life is pretty deep to him.
Life is never deep enough to kill yourself. This person is clearly caught up in expectations from those around them/bunch of bs and needs to gain some perspective. They are caught up in the "the game".
And yeah, obviously it feels deep to him. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying getting the "high finance" job you want out of college might not happen. So what? Careers are 40+ years long. It's gonna be ok. IE, it's not that deep.
Big time shrooms fan, but having someone do them while depressed to the point of suicidal ideation sounds like an illicit CIA torture technique lol dude is going to wig tf out.
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