Ever see any of your coworkers significantly change in personality?
Had this 1 coworker who was my manager many years back when I interned at a corporate banking department. Seemed to be a positive and optimistic person. Gave lots of helpful advice and knowledge into the business and overall life advice as well. This was 8-9 years ago.
Since then I moved to another group within my firm but had caught up with him a few times recently and realized his personality now is very depressing and cynical on nearly every aspect of convo. After heading back to my desk I wondered what happened, as it’s like his beliefs, personality and general orientation towards life seems to have completely changed. This guy was easily well into his 40s too so I was surprised as I thought people tend not to change as much at that age range but not sure.
And yes it is certainly possible he could’ve always been like this and I just didn’t realize when I was an intern, but found this to be quite a noticeable change and one of my other coworkers may have noticed this too
Anyone else notice this with anyone they worked with or know why someone could be this different compared to before?
Yes. This happened with one of my former professors. According to my older brother who took his class many years before I did, the professor used to be all about capitalism and free markets, but by the time I attended his lectures, he would seem to advocate for socialist ideologies. Very disappointing class
Easy: Wife was into cu*kholdery
.
Some vp who sat near me on my floor in a different division was seemingly welcome and willing to teach stuff in the beginning. One day several months later it looked like he was spending more and more time on his phone everyday during work, and one time an analyst went up to him to ask a question and he said yelled something like “hey relax, can’t you understand that people are busy and have lots of stuff going on? Give me a few minutes alright, do you have any social awareness..”. As that analyst was walking away, I peeped over to see what he’s doing on his phone - guy was playing freaking solitaire lol 😂
Lmaoo vp rocking bigdik energy
Why did VP not have his own office?
That’s pretty unusual. Anything can happen in 8-9 years, though. Maybe the mid 2010s were really great for him and now he’s missing something he used to have e.g., divorce, empty nest, widower, SPDS, hell if you don’t see him often he might have just had a bad day. Puts things into perspective though we need to stay positive even if we lock into a years long routine.
Sometimes, it is hard to identify if his personality has changed or his attitude.
I am still convinced that you (incl. personality) will never change from a certain of age.
I had a supervisor during my internship 8 years ago, who was very supportive and could articulate every single issue easily that everybody (even an idiot) could understand complicated facts crystal clearly.
But after two months, his attitude changed. He was not motivated at all and he was silent all the time. I thought he would get too much stress as the company did not perform well at that time. So, I thought he was put under pressure.
Another factor was that his dad passed away. So, it was totally understandable that he felt a bit depressed.
But later (after my internship), I found out that he was inherited $$$$$ after his dad passed away and he did not care about his work.
He was waiting until he gets fired, so that he could take his compensation.
Studies show people’s personalities change even past their 30s. A study from researchers at UC Berkeley found that personality changes do occur in middle adulthood. Conscientiousness increased throughout the age range studied, with the biggest increases in a person's 20s; this trait is defined as being organized, planful, and disciplined, and past research has linked it to work performance and work commitments. Agreeableness increased the most during a person's 30s; this trait is defined as being warm, generous, and helpful, and has been linked to relationships and to prosocial behavior.
Neuroticism declined with age for women but did not decline for men; this trait is defined in people who worry and are emotionally unstable. It has been linked to depression and other mental health problems.
In the study, average levels of personality traits changed gradually but systematically throughout the lifespan, sometimes even more after age 30 than before. Increasing conscientiousness and agreeableness and decreasing neuroticism in adulthood may indicate increasing maturity - people becoming on the average better adapted as they get older, well into middle age.
Link to study found here: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/05/personality
In the case with the former manager described in the OP, he could have experienced an increase in Neuroticism or Depression gradually over the years, in addition to various other changes in either his attitude / overall orientation towards life.
Working in a cubicle your entire life will do that to you
Have had multiple encounters with folks who have similar-ish stories as the one you mentioned. People change constantly... for the good, or bad. It could be something clear-cut, i.e., something at the office that you can see. Often, however, it's something completely disconnected from work that has slowly dripped over into the professional space, for better or worse.
I'd say even I fall into this category as well - the longer I've worked in this industry, the more I've been able to overcome the imposter syndrome and reservations that go along with it. People who would formerly refer to me as 'quiet' or 'meek' would take observation over the years how I'd become more talkative and more vocal in decisions. That's a good thing... or so I'm told!
Had an MD at my last group whose personality changed tenfold over the course of maybe two quarters. An optimistic and outgoing dude, we began to take note of his absence in meetings, shades pulled in his office, and generally pessimistic outlook on things - from deal float to the weather that day. It was easy to make fun of him and bitch about mood changes, but that quickly shifted once we were told his wife was suffering from cancer. She died a month after that, he left the group a week later. Really makes you think.
Probably married a woman who got fat or cheated on him or left him for a better man. That’s what’s seems to break most men.
'Better' man is pretty subjective. In a lot of these cases, it's not really clear which one is better but rather what's more exciting in the moment. Who's better, the husband who's 5'10 in decent shape making $200k & who cares about the relationship or the back office compliance bro who's 6 foot / yoked but makes $60k and who just wants to bang? From any dude's lens, it's the former but the strange thing is a lot of women would go for the latter (and then cry about how they can't find any good men). Either way, I can't imagine though what it would be like to be cheated on by your wife, sounds incredibly brutal.
Somewhat related, but with the combination of 1) AI GFs, 2) declining role of males in society, 3) declining education levels of males vs. females (nearly 2 women graduate college for every guy), 4) stagnating social mobility, 5) absolute havoc wreaked by the internet of male social skills, and 6) quality & ubiquity of high quality porn and video games -- it's all in all not a pretty picture for the future of not just the nuclear family, but relationships in general. In the US something almost 6 out of 10 of adult men under 30 have lost interest in dating already (https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2023/02/13/for-valentines-day-5-s…) for a combination of the reasons earlier. I've seen other studies where it's close to 1/3 on the lower end...either way these are insanely high figures that we'll only really understand the impact of in a decade
Passed over somehow in office (edit - in some way, somehow, professional career... took a hit somehow), or lost a gd amount in some new alt-coin offering...
*or* as suggested, tried pulling an Adam22 and realized that ride ain't for the feint of heart lol (edit - or possibly something on the home-front, which chalk up to "who knows what" etc.).
Burnout can cause pretty severe personality change and I believe suddenly becoming overwhelmingly pessimistic is usually a strong signal of burnout.
It's probably a lot more common to see this with people in their early to late 20s than in later adulthood, although probably not uncommon at that stage either. I certainly feel quite different compared to when I was in college. Used to be more nonchalant, happy and confident. Now a bit less so, usually more mellow and jaded and tend to overthink a lot more. Wonder if others experienced this at some point too after graduation.
I can relate. If you go through my post history you’ll see me expand on this, but I really started maturing from a mental aspect right around when I turned 25. From the outside im much the same person, but it’s a completely different mindset now.
Yesterday I spoke with my parents about their finances and health. First time ever my parents showed me a glimpse of their finances. They want to give me $100k to invest on their behalf, and I told them to do some general reading and then let’s discuss in a week.
Spoke about their will and I told my dad he needs to lose weight or he’ll be dead in 15 years from a heart attack. Was very blunt and direct - im son of first gen immigrant, so this is not a conversation that happens in our culture.
I also began thinking about why I exist. Lots of philosophical thinking and trying to establish my purpose in life. Also realized for all of my accomplishments, I’m truly not special. I cannot say there is a god or not, but I have accepted I’m not one.
I’m much more pessimistic people would say, but I say I’m just realistic. Good quote I like is something like “people escape the reality they live by dreaming of the future”.
This is true in my case. We will see if I can break this cycle of complacency.
Could be a variety of reasons - developed GAD, depression, feeling burnt out etc
Asperiores exercitationem repudiandae sequi atque. Sequi ut consequuntur sit quo dolor. Rerum cum eius nisi accusantium dolor sed iure. Sequi delectus et non non ut aliquid et et. Iusto sunt tempora ut. Ut architecto sint ut voluptatibus magnam voluptatem.
Et hic accusantium aliquid a aperiam error. Delectus et enim quidem ab voluptatum consequuntur autem eum. Voluptatibus eligendi aut consequatur suscipit neque ea. Voluptates repudiandae rerum ea modi.
Maxime assumenda non suscipit. Ab similique consequatur soluta eos reiciendis dolorum consequatur non. Possimus quidem vero voluptatibus rerum. Rerum nihil illo dolores. Quasi magnam vero esse animi consequatur iusto asperiores. Quasi odio aliquid aut vitae nisi.
Architecto libero in ea suscipit. Nulla voluptas minus sequi assumenda nihil alias id. Exercitationem nesciunt nobis doloremque velit. Est consequuntur vel consequatur hic omnis aut a. Incidunt sequi sed impedit autem nostrum.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...