Is The Ability to Handle Stress Situation-Specific (Audit -> ER/AM)?
Hi Everyone,
This is a bit of a strange question but it's one I've been thinking about quite a lot and I think could be useful to others on the sub.
For a bit of context, I'm currently in audit in London with 4 years of experience. I used to work for a Big 4 firm for 2 years, but due to (one-off) exam failure, I have had to finish my qualification here at a smaller (mid-tier but still decent) firm. I'm now looking into future careers and I think that ER/asset management would be something that I could quickly upskill and excel in into the future. For additional context, I performed very well in (a good private) school, got into top UK universities and even though I'm upset that I didn't apply myself more while I was at uni (to internships, not academically), overall I'm happy that I now have another shot at making it into the big leagues, so to speak.
I have a confession to make and it's quite an embarrassing one to be making despite the anonymous nature of this sub: although I was a top bucket auditor at my Big 4 firm, I have not been a top performer at all during my time here at this smaller firm, and it has really put a dent on my confidence and my ability to handle stress/complex situations (well, as complex as an audit can get, at least). I was placed on a PIP list last year and I managed to screw my head on and get out of it, but ever since passing my last exam and getting my qualification I have sorted of checked out again. It's not that I'm not willing to put in the hours/stay in the office late, but my ability to really concentrate for long periods has been severely hampered over the past 2 years, and I worry about the habits I've picked up ever since I was fired from that Big 4 job 2 years ago. Overall I think I'm just much less confident than I ever have been in either work or school/uni.
The head of my department took me aside a month or so ago and told me that if I can't handle pressure, I should look into a cosier job in internal audit (which is probably the most offensive thing you can say to me!) or something else with more predictable deadlines. The truth is that I think I'm just so burned out that I can't be arsed to put in 110% effort anymore, but I do recognise that I am very, very anxious at work nowadays (biting my nails/skin until they bleed, relying on coffee, trouble sleeping, snap judgments, etc), especially during this ongoing busy season.
I have been veering towards a career in ER/AM for quite a while now, and I think energy-specific ER could be a field that I can become interested in and really excel in. I've spent entire days with my best friend at a L/S equities fund and I'm confident that this is something I would be able to end up at least tolerating for the foreseeable future. At the very least, it is 100x better than audit! However, I know from personal experience (my dad is a banker) how stressful these finance jobs are, and that even Big 4 audit is peanuts compared to the hours I'd be expected to work, the responsibility I'd be expected to have and the decisions I'd be expected to make in ER. I ultimately think it will be fulfilling, but I'm going into this with my eyes wide open, so to speak.
My point is that I'm aware of my tendency to 'collapse under pressure' recently. I think that getting into something I (at least somewhat) like, even if that endeavour is inherently more stressful, would ultimately make me less anxious/stressed as a person. I even think I would be much calmer, cooler and more collected in IB compared to audit.
I have not always been this way, and don't want to keep on living my life in this manner. Do you guys think that the ability to cope under pressure is an inherent skill or do you think it can be improved in the right circumstances, even though everyone tells you that those circumstances are much more stressful? What do you guys think?
Thanks in advance!
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