About to get dropped for parent...
Hey all,
I've been interviewing for a very competitive internship for a while now and have made it deep in process. I did three interviews, including one with an MD, and right before I was expecting an offer/rejection, I get an email from HR... Want to keep anonymity, but she basically asked if one of my family members was very high-up at a specific rivaling firm. (I do)... I haven't responded to the email yet, but is my only option to come clean? That is what my family member recommend I do, but it will almost certainly lead to me not getting hired.
Would appreciate any advice?
Family members at the firm (you are interviewing) should be disclosed during most applications anyway.
1) Were you asked, at any point in time during the process, whether you have family members at the firm? If yes, you should have disclosed. If no, you didn't do anything wrong. (this is for the firm you are interviewing with)
2) If this is the first time the question comes up, just say how it is.
If this is for a RIVALING firm, you don't have to disclose, but can if you want to. Banking is a small world, it happens that family members work at competing firms.
And who says this is a disadvantage for them?
My parent works at a rivaling firm... without giving too much away, I am interviewing not only for the rivaling firm, but a direct rivaling group. (naturally I was attracted to the industry my parent was in). They happen to be involved in some big-time litigation right now, and my parent had previously joked that if they recognized my last name I would be dropped.
They have not asked prior if I had parents in the industry and I didn't use any family-connections to get started. However, my last name is rather unique, which is I assume how they connected me to my parents. (unless someone was snitching:(.. ) But to summarize, I don't have to disclose... so even though I have been asked, it would be okay for me to not reply and hope they forget about it?
None of the rivalries or litigation have anything to do with you. It would be unfair not to hire you because of it.
The user below has a useful approach for this.
You can disclose if you want, but don't have to.
Not sure whether ignoring the email is helpful.
I think you have to come clean but I think you can phrase it as "Hi HR Person Name, You are correct, X person is my father/mother/uncle/cousin/whatever. Let me know if helpful to discuss or any issues at all. I still remain very excited about the opportunity at (insert firm name)." I imagine your family member would have the best advice for you if they are senior at a rival firm.
Context is sort of key here, like if a random MD at a rival firm is your uncle (you say parent in the title, family member in the body), it's likely not a big deal but they just want to know. If your last name is Kravis and you didn't tell TPG while interviewing, it's admittedly a bit strange (but also strange they didn't connect the dots earlier to be fair). It also probably matters how directly competitive - they're probably either going to really love or really hate if they're competing against your family member on every deal. On the one hand, it's a conflict of interest of sorts and puts everyone in weird confidentiality spots, but on the other hand, imagine being able to tell potential portco's that "x MD even thinks we're such a good group, he/she had his/her son/daughter work for us."
Would love to PM to give more specifics but i guess both of us are anonymous.. the issue is that not only are they direct competitors but also that there is very very large litigation happening right now between the 2 groups.
All considered, I think I have to come clean or I risk much more severe consequences in the future... which is very unfortunate. If they drop me, they drop me. Sucks to finally get close to landing a good internship without my parents network to then fall short. Thanks everyone for the advice
If they honestly drop you because of this they don't deserve you anyway.
Best of luck.
Odd question for them to ask (seems unprofessional to me), and I can't imagine them dinging you because of that. If anything, it should make you more appealing since you grew up around the industry, know what it takes to succeed, etc.
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