What's your crazy stories on Wall Street?

After talking to so many professionals in the industry, I found that each had their own crazy story to tell.

The best I heard by far actually happened to my uncle. He worked at JP Morgan for almost two years in their IT division along with the traders (think quant-y stuff and operations). His team were tasked with moving the main servers from one room to another, so they went under the floors of the trading room to unplug the servers to move them. Problem was, that these servers by IBM were brand new as shit at the time (think mid 80s) and the whole IT team had no idea which cables went in which socket when they moved them to the new room.

They spent a good hour trying to figure it out, until they had no other choice but to call an IBM specialist to come and fix it up for them. Needless to say, JPM's trading was halted for a complete hour, so you can imagine how the traders were so...ahem...happy. Let's just say, the term "verbal ass rape" is an understatement.

TL;DR: Uncle fudged up, stock market activity was utterly destroyed as a result.

What's your crazy story?

 
Best Response

but most of them stem from college.

Look, I love money. But it's definitely overrated.

I had as much, no, more fun when I had hardly any money. It's funny, you always find a way to do what you want to do and have a good time. I remember in college, I always had like 20 bucks in my bank account. I somehow managed to go out and never quite go negative.

It seems like money can buy fun, but really it just makes you lazier. You end staying in nicer hotels, paying more because you book at the last minute, and go to swanky places where you pay way too much for drinks.

In college, I would stay at hostel, pile into a car with 5 buddies, and hit up all happy hours. And you know what it was awesome.

Rather than blowing a ton of money on strippers and golddiggers, I'd find hot girls before they were jaded and have more fun.

In the end, nothing has changed other than how much money I make...and that bizarrely affects you a lot.

I'd say there are two lessons here:

1) Enjoy college and your youth 2) You always seem to spend according to what you earn

 

mate you are 100% spot on with point 2.

What I have found is that you are in uni, you have lots of time/ no money. When working, you got money and no time! plus your buddies go off and get married and stuff so having stupid fun that you have while studying is impossible ...

that said, i can do a lot more things (such as spending a bit more on myself and girls) than i could before and it feels good sometimes :)

 
BABanker:

but most of them stem from college.

Look, I love money. But it's definitely overrated.

I had as much, no, more fun when I had hardly any money. It's funny, you always find a way to do what you want to do and have a good time. I remember in college, I always had like 20 bucks in my bank account. I somehow managed to go out and never quite go negative.

It seems like money can buy fun, but really it just makes you lazier. You end staying in nicer hotels, paying more because you book at the last minute, and go to swanky places where you pay way too much for drinks.

In college, I would stay at hostel, pile into a car with 5 buddies, and hit up all happy hours. And you know what it was awesome.

Rather than blowing a ton of money on strippers and golddiggers, I'd find hot girls before they were jaded and have more fun.

In the end, nothing has changed other than how much money I make...and that bizarrely affects you a lot.

I'd say there are two lessons here:

1) Enjoy college and your youth
2) You always seem to spend according to what you earn

even in 07 this guy had gr8 insight - props

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 

Oh I want to get into the industry because it's something I genuinely find interesting, specifically the PE part. I just wanted to hear a more "upbeat" story to counteract all these "guys...I have a model due at 9 am and it's 3 am" stories. They're interesting and realistic but can we at least have a 1 to 40 ratio? One positive story for each arduous work story?

 

"Oh I want to get into the industry because it's something I genuinely find interesting, specifically the PE part. "

Hello? Just go into private equity...as an intern first, of course...

Yeah, why don't you read "Monkey Business"? It'll raise your morale.

 

Yea this one time, the bank took us to a Yankees game, of course about 45 minutes into the game I was watching the game alone because all the other interns had been called back to the office.....I had turned off my Blackberry so I was spared....

 

"For those of you not in the know, Financial Analysts are those bright, promising, and often attractive college classmates of yours who disappeared into someplace called Douche Bank or Golden Slacks after graduation and from whom you have not heard since. Sometimes you will run across one in the street, usually late at night when you are stumbling home from a hot nightspot with some smokin' cutie on your arm and images of the Kama Sutra running through your head. Invariably, you are shocked and (temporarily) sobered by their altered appearance: pasty complexion, dark circles under the eyes, slouched posture, and a furtive, shifty expression marked alternately by booming bonhomie and snarling, sobbing cynicism. My God, you think to yourself, what happened to Jock/Bif/Muffy? You promise to stay in touch, and you even leave a voice mail or two at their home or office, but you are frankly relieved when they do not call you back.

Well, let me tell you why that Golden Girl or Golden Boy has sunk so low: they have been through the Mother of All Wringers, my friend, and they are lucky to be alive. (The image that pops into my head is the old Hustler magazine cover with a woman's legs being put through a meat grinder, but then again I am probably older and certainly less politically correct than you.) You know that old phrase, "S**t flows downhill"? Well, Dear Reader, your college drinking buddy is sitting at the very bottom of a veritable mountain of aromatic ordure that an army of Associates, Vice Presidents, Managing Directors, and Important Clients is busy shoveling downhill at him or her as fast as they possibly can.

Among you Dear Readers, there will still be some of you whose Sympathy-O-Meters are flickering at "Feeble," since you have heard that your friend is raking in approximately three to five times what you and your other college friends are making. This is probably true. Nevertheless, let me remind you of another unfortunately scatological yet apropos chestnut: "Life is like a st sandwich: the more bread you have, the less st you have to eat." In the case of the Financial Analyst, the proportion of fertilizing filler is still way out of whack with the surrounding pumpernickel, no matter how much pumpernickel there is. Hence the tendency for newly minted Financial Analysts to morph in appearance from Rock Hudson to Marty Feldman within three months of starting the job.

Now for the Restored Faith in Humanity bit. You would think that tender young shoots such as these, exposed to the withering blasts of endless pitchbooks and monstrous LBO models demanded 24/7/365 by the clay-footed demigods of High Finance, would eventually shrink and curl into catatonic little blobs. But no. There are some—at least a few—who toughen their skins, stiffen their spines, and stand forth upon the broken bodies of their fellow Financial Analysts to shout, "Wage slaves of the world, unite!" Or at least, "Up yours, a**hole!" Such youthful bravery and defiance brings a tear to my jaded eye."

 

Commodi quos voluptas hic beatae voluptatem voluptatem consequatur. Repudiandae ea maxime voluptas.

Ut vitae iusto consectetur. Qui sequi possimus dolores a. Aperiam nulla dolorum quasi sunt error quam.

 

Voluptas qui consequatur atque in cupiditate. Consequuntur molestias sapiente commodi deleniti quam cum rem.

Labore ut quis magnam rerum autem vero et. Corporis et esse aut voluptate iure voluptas earum. Nemo alias rerum nulla accusantium veniam dolores iste minus. Est nisi ex molestiae sint minima in.

Explicabo dolor ut optio minima sit et non. Minus ipsam consequatur eum error deleniti. Dolorem occaecati officia et assumenda quia sit voluptatibus earum. Rerum aut voluptatum sequi et et id. Amet omnis dolorem sed illo amet.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”