From the left pocket into the right – Uncle Sam is Hiring

The numbers are out, and I guess if you’re an auditor or an investigator (or can fake it like the best of ‘em) it’s good news for you, because it looks like you’ll have some job opportunities coming your way. A pretty decent chunk of the total stimulus amount is set to go right back into the government’s pocket (I know - who could have imagined?!?). Uncle Sam has earmarked some $350 million to fund the overseeing of the new stimulus package. And in true US government style, they’ll be spending that money up quicker than they can get their hands on it. They’re even going to be hiring auditors to audit the present auditors. (That must be a fun crowd.)

I suppose they need to backfill some investigators as well, since the others are busy spying on UBS and trying to pilfer money from other countries while our own economy is in the toilet. Pay no attention to those running for office who conveniently forgot to pay their taxes (oops). Hey, we have to make it up somehow.

Anywho, for anyone interested, the official name for this project is the “stimulus watch” plan, and it’s supposedly going to create quite a few jobs. Not sure when and where these hirings will take place. I suppose they have to hire hiring folks first.

 
Best Response

I don't get the pilfer money from other countries reference. Are you referring to the UBS thing? I believe its the Swiis pilfering money from the US. Because while Edmundo doesn't believe in income taxes, its still something you have to pay. And as many have said, and Edmundo has executed, if you don't like it, go somewhere else. If you are an American living abroad, you still have to pay taxes. Because while you may live in the UK, or France, or Latvia, if you're safariing through Africa and get abducted by a swarm of wayward Somali pirates... the Latvian government will continue snorting coke and trafficking snaggle-toothed hookers without skipping a beat, its the US government who's going to come get you. As Edmundo referred to, you can forfeit your citizenship. And if the government doesn't let you, then fuck em, you never want to come back here anyway. Don't pay them shit, they can't extradite you for not paying your taxes.

The issue in the UBS scandal is, an American is living on US soil, earning money on US soil, and paying foreign companies to hide it abroad so he doesn't have to pay taxes on it. So along comes Uncle Sam and says "fuck you, pay me."

While I'm no fan of taxes or the government's ineptitude, it is part of life. Everyone else deals with it, why can't you(not you specifically affluenza) So... if I'm taxed 35-some-odd percent, why the fuck aren't you? Not only are you fucking free-loading off of me, yes you are free-loading as much as the octo-mom bitch who's living off foodstamps and welfare money and foreclosing on her house, but the useless government has to spend additional US citizen dollars hunting down your thieving ass.

 

On an aside, $350 million is .05% of the $700B tarp fund. If the poor bastards who invested in Madoff paid .05% to audit their auditors, maybe 5 o'clock shadows and the stench of urine wouldn't be ever more prevalent on the subway these days.

And for all the Madoff nephews, nieces, sons, and brother-in-laws I run into on the 6 train... this rule is so underrated, keep your family and business completely separated, money and blood don't mix like 2 dicks and no chick, you'll find yourself in serious shit.

 

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