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I’ll be honest, i’m not entirely sure what each of the items on this list are or why anyone would even want them as a chirstmas gift. They seem more like burdens to me, I mean what am I going to do with 7 swans in my tiny Nyc studio. Anway, thanks to the internet, I was able to work my way down the list and see how much each of these items cost. Read on to see how much you would be spending on your true love.

A Partridge in a pear tree
I’ll be honest, I first had to google what a partridge was before figuring this one out. Turns out its a bird. Anyway, a partridge will run you about $23 and a full size pear tree is gonna cost you $94.50.

2 Turtle Doves
Finding turtle doves was surprisingly easy. 2 of these will run you about $65, but they take 2-4 weeks to deliver. Save yourselves a few bucks and spray paint two pigeons white and call it a day.

3 French hens
3 french hens will run you about $120 at the Omelet chicken coop in the UK. But be careful, according to one reviewer these things are addictive!

4 calling birds
I don’t exactly know what calling birds are so I’ll assume they mean canaries. 4 of these will run you about $351

5 golden rings
Save a couple of bucks here and go to Jareds. 5 of these will go for $600

6 geese-a-laying
I went to strombergs farms for this and choose a breed that is good for laying eggs, in total 6 geese will cost you only $75!

7 swans-a-swimming
Apparently these things are only sold and shipped in pairs. So that means we have to buy 8 swans for $8000 plus $1480 for shipping and then toss out the extra swan, for a grand total of $9480

8 Maids-a-milking
Depending on how you define maids and milking this can cost you anywhere from $60 - $300 if you’re in Vegas. For 8 of these expect to pay up to $2400.

9 Ladies dancing
See above

10 Lords-a-leaping
I’m not quite sure how one would go about hiring, or renting a lord. So I chose to be a bit more resourceful here, and go the route of the male dancer, one of which can be had for about $350 a night so we’ll go ahead and guesstimate this one at about $3500

11 Pipers Piping
At $350 an hour 11 Pipers will cost about $3850. If you’re interested check out the link:
Bagpipers

12 Drummers Drumming
Over at gigmasters.com I found a troupe that specializes in drums with fees of up to $3000.

Obviously a lot of this stuff is outdated, as far as I know the only people wearing gold these days are pimps. So what would a more modern 12 days of christmas sound like. Any ideas?

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Comments (3)

  • VanillaGorilla's picture

    He went to Jareds... that might be one of the catchiest jingles ever.

  • chocotaco99's picture

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