A petition for a new National Anthem!

Twitter, Reddit, WSO and other news aggregators..….. one more addition to the websites that I keep track of these days is the Petitions website of the US Government.

It provides for more chuckle-worthy news than you’d imagine! Remember the White House Beer Recipe that was shared last year?

You can begin a petition on this website and if it receives enough support, namely 100,000 signatures within 30 days, then it qualifies for an official response from the White House.

Well, there have been responses from the government addressing a number of crucial issues as well, but they barely provide for any entertainment. On the other hand, the response to a petition for building the Death Star… titled ‘This isn’t the petition response you are looking for’, imagine the White House has a sense of humor!

Since then, there have been petitions spanning the entire gamut from the ridiculous to the insane and entertaining ones. Though not all of them ended up receiving an official response, they’ve earned enough votes to be searchable on the website. Deport Piers Morgan(after watching his Oscar Red Carpet interviews, I would gladly support this one), Secessionist petitions(from all 50 states, really!) were a few that received an official response.

The most recent one has been to ‘change the national anthem to R.Kelly’s 2003 hit Ignition Remix‘.

We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it's the afterparty, and that after the party, it's the hotel lobby, and--perhaps most importantly--that 'round about four, you've got to clear the lobby, at which point it's strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.

Here are a few other petitions that caught my eye:


1. Officially recognize the religion of Pastafarianism whose god is The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Devotees can sometimes wear a spaghetti strainer on their head to show devotion to the God of Pastafarianism - The Flying Spaghetti Monster(see display-picture).
This petition has got a long way to go though, having garnered only 429 votes so far.

2. Convert At Least One National Park Into A Dinosaur Clone Park open year round, filled with dinosaurs and (optional) wooly mammoths

3. Sequester the salaries of Congress for non-performance of duties and the best of all

4. Make Lawmakers Wear Logos Of Financial Backers On Clothing, Like In NASCAR

Certainly an app worth having, don’t you think? In the meantime, here’s what might be the next National anthem, if it receives enough votes over the next month!

 

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