Is this actual Harrassment?

I just started on a new team (excuse old job title) BB IB ~4 months ago. I knew my group had a rep for fratty/gigachad culture. I didn't think much of it, and obviously I can take a joke and I get the whole mess with the new guy. And that goes on and I chirp back, but starting like a month ago my VP has been giving me wet willies (licks his finger and puts it in my ear) basically every day. How do I get him to stop? Do I take this up with HR?

Edit: Thanks for the responses. I took everyones advice to not go to HR and instead handle it myself. So when he did it this afternoon, I grabbed his hand, gave him a stern look, and slowly sucked his finger to try and one up him. I expected him to laugh but it just got really weird. I think he told some other people around the office because my team was really short with me the rest of the day and vibes were just kind of off. I'm worried I took this too far, is there anything I can do to remedy this situation?

 

If you’re not a scrub, just firmly tell him next time he does it, “Look man, I appreciate our relationship and our jokes, but can you not stick your finger in my ear, it’s fucking annoying and crosses the line.” If he’s at all normal, he’ll respond well to that.

 
Funniest

Let out an audible moan next time and see if he stops 

 

Hey man! Ignoring the wet willies situation, your group seems like the type of culture I am looking for as I go through recruiting. I have a good GPA, undergrad, and resume in general. I can definitely explain well why IB and I was wondering if you would be willing to do a quick chat with me.

 

Haha! Recruiting is rough man, but I ain't really scared to put myself out there. With that said, if you work in banking right now I would also love to chat you. I won't waste your time, and I will definitely go out of my way to get to know you and your group.

 

Haha! Aye man I am very down to discuss the wet willie culture in your group as well. In all seriousness, I can promise you this would be one of the best coffee chats you will have talking to sophomores. I am also very funny (400 sum bananas on wso off of just 5 comments).

(Sorry OP feels like i am hijacking ur thread but hustlers gotta hustle)

 

Maybe I’m older so I take less shit but if anyone did that I would hit their hand away and tell them to get their fucking hand out of my ear.

 

You could report it to HR but that would likely damage your career at that company.  I would look for another job. There is no way I would to work for someone that unprofessional.

 

First time he did it you should've said wtf are you doing - actually. Know some more aggressive people who don't give af and especially in that type of environment next time he does it say what the fuck are you doing and tell him to stop. He'll get the message. Not a professional response but what is he even doing in a workplace setting, that's not appropriate either. 

 

Harassment is words. Giving someone an unwanted wet willy is assault. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Most Helpful

The only remedy here is to turn it back on your VP even harder. This is a game of chicken and you can't blink.

  • Next time he gives you a wet willy, moan loudly.
  • You pass each other in the hallway alone, grab his ass/crotch gently or try to tickle him. 
  • Every time you make eye contact, purse your lips and wink. 
  • When you're alone and he asks you to do something or says thank you, say "yes daddy" or "you're welcome daddy". 

The goal here is to make him so uncomfortable that he stops. Then that's where the real game begins. You go harder. 

  • You follow him home in all black so he can't see your face, with a jukebox, and stand outside his apartment blasting Coldplay.
  • Take pictures of him out and about in public and leave them on his desk when no one is around. 
  • Key all but your first name's initials and his into his car with a heart around them. 
  • Call his family from burner phones and talk about how much you're looking forward to meeting them all during the holidays once he's ready to come out and introduce you. 

Assert yourself and he'll have to promote you for recognizing the skill it takes to turn something like this back on him in such a relentless fashion. It's fratboy law. Then you will quickly ascend the ranks and become partner by your early-mid 30s. 

Congratulations! 

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Grab his skull next time and take your thumb and press behind his ear. See how he likes that.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Hot

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 
PEarbitrage

Punch him in the d$ck.  He will get the message. 

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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