Some weeks there is just too much awesome stuff. Enjoy:
1) Goldman Sachs Hires Single Morally Decent Human Being To Work In Separate, Enclosed Cubicle (The Onion) - Might as well start out with a laugh. I can't believe this is the first time in a year and half I've ever run something from The Onion on Bonus Bananas. It isn't funny because of the notion that Goldman only has one morally decent human being on staff; it's funny to think that they'd ever hire a morally decent human being at all.
2) IMF Head Warns Time Running Out for Euro Zone (Der Spiegel) - You can get ready for an ALL GREECE ALL WEEKEND kinda deal over the next few days with a landmark election in Athens on Sunday. The Eurozone is hanging on by a thread, and IMF Chief (and Chicago native) Christine Lagarde says they've got three months to get their shit together or it's all over but the crying.
3) Who, What, Why: How would Greece switch currencies? (BBC) - Exactly how does a currency disintegrate? What is the procedure? Here's the game plan for how it all comes together. Meanwhile, €1 billion a day has been fleeing Greece leading up to the election.
4) Eurogeddon: A Worst-Case Scenario Handbook for the European Debt Crisis (The Atlantic) - No need to watch Saw VII now that you've got this to read. What if everything shit the bed all at once? There's a perverse aspect to my personality that wants to see it happen just so I can...well...see what happens.
5) Finance blogger wisdom: changed thinking (Abnormal Returns) - This is just awesome. Anyone looking for beach reads this summer need look no further. The best books we read are the ones which change the way we think about something. Here is a list of the best minds in financial blogging and the books that changed their entire thought process on a given subject. There is something in here for everyone.
6) Exclusive Warren Buffett – A Few Lessons for Investors and Managers (4HWW Blog) - Here's a quick peak under the wizard's cloak. This interview goes into what Buffett looks for in acquisitions and investments and is included in the book A Few Lessons for Investors and Managers From Warren Buffett. Great stuff.
7) Billionaire Morse Behind Curtain At Villages (Bloomberg) - This guys cracks me up. He's a modern day feudal lord ruling over his geriatric fiefdom with an iron fist. He controls the real estate, the tax rates, even the local newspaper. And he does it all while managing to stay under the radar. Smart, or kinda creepy?
8) Student Loans: Cities Offering to Pay Debt to Gain Young Residents (ABC News) - You might not be willing to sling equities in Dallas, but would you be willing to crank out pitchbooks in Niagara Falls? What if they paid off your student loans? Several elderly vampire cities have their sights set on the throbbing jugulars of recent college grads. Somebody gotta keep granny in cat food.
9) Mathematical Proof That Crime Doesn’t Pay (Gizmodo) - This one actually surprised me. For some reason I always thought bank robbers made more money. Turns out the average bank robbery only nets $4,330. The exceptions to the rule? As always, if you're gonna be a bear - be a grizzly bear. Take over a bank Heat-style guns blazing and you'll up the take, but still not enough to make it worth it.
10) Online electronics dealer 'taxes' IE7 users 6.8 percent for having old browser (The Verge) - I have to admit that I'm a bit of tech snob, which is odd for a guy my age. But I have little regard for those who are not on the bleeding edge of technology. And it turns out I'm not alone. Online retailer Kogan actually assesses your backward ass an extra 6.8% tax on purchases if you're using Internet Explorer 7. God only knows what they charge you if you log in with an AOL email address.
Video of the Week:
I'm a huge Tarantino fan, and the trailer for his latest movie looks like it might do Inglorious Basterds one better. The movie is Django Unchained and it's an homage to spaghetti westerns and blaxploitation films all at once. Jamie Fox plays the title character (the "D" is silent, lol), and the inimitable Christoph Waltz plays the bounty hunter who vows to free him if he helps him to find the murderous Brittle Brothers. I have no doubt that there will be an abundance of graphic Kill Bill-type violence peppered with hilarious one-liners, and I can't wait to see the movie. You'll definitely wanna go FULL SCREEN on this bad boy:
Let me know what you think of this week's Bananas in the comments, and have a fantastic weekend fellas.
Oh, and a Silver Banana to the first one of you who gets the reference to the photo in this post.
By reference, do you mean Ben Stiller from Happy Gilmore or is there more context to it?
"We're talkin about some high quality hand-crafted shit here"
"Ohhhh, your fingers hurt? Well now your backs gonna hurt, because guess who just pulled landscaping duty?....Anyone else's fingers hurt? No? I didn't think so..."
Yes, but to what does the photo refer?
That's Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore telling grandma to keep her yap shut while she's on the phone with Happy, and implying that she too may have an 'accident'. THE PRICE IS WRONG, BITCH! Banana please.
8 is brilliant. They could do an open ended arrangement where a fixed amount / percentage is paid off for every unit of time working in an area. A contractual arrangement would also work, as I know several people who joined the military to pay off student debt: why not apply the same structure towards building civil society? In fact, if you're not doing a whole post devoted to this topic, I will.
Okay, my fault, I'm just not making myself clear. I meant which Banana is the photo in reference to, with the obvious answer being #7. Clearly a failed attempt at humor. My apologies (and SB's all around).
Thought you were pretty clear.. but as I scrolled down, I got confused and started doubting myself. 'oh.. maybe # 7 is not the correct answer he's looking for..' Turned out it was them who weren't understanding it correctly. :)
7 is creepy as hell. Why people willingly live in a place where one person can control everything baffles me. Land of the Free??? WTF?
It's not North Korea, lol. The people choose to live there because it offers them the lifestyle they want to live. What does one person owning everything really impact if they are being provided the service(s) they want at a reasonable rate? On the surface it does seem a bit creepy that the guy controls the content of the paper and TV station, etc. but at the end of the day, old people are the nosiest people on earth and they just want to know who is sleeping with who and who bought a new car or went on a vacation, etc. and where the dinner special is going to be this week and what time the dance party starts, etc.
It was funny. One of the comments below the article talked about how one community, a short distance from The Villages, offers all the same amenities but with fees that are $20 cheaper! LOL. I realize the majority of these people are living on fixed incomes, so differences in cost do impact their decision making process but even the comment posted pointed out how they have a lot of the same things, just not as many, so few golf courses, fewer pickleball courts, no newspaper, no TV channel...which might make it worth the extra $20.
At any rate, I'm from Florida, Tampa specifically (which is about 1.5 hours south of the place in the article) and I think these places are great. Let all of these folks hangout with their friends in communities outside of the bigger cities and alleviate some of the traffic and bad driving for everyone else.
Regards
The best part is when Happy's gma is on the phone and Ben Stiller pounds on the glass, points to his watch then drags his thumb across his throat...priceless.
That eurogeddon's blog is so scary. But what scares me even more is that there is a reasonable chance of the scenario described in the blog can actually unfold.
In regards to the Eurogeddon article, the last paragraph is particularly scary. If that scenario unfolds there is basically nothing the Fed could do. Interest rates can't go any lower, and there's no chance in hell Congress would approve another massive bailout. There would be riots in the streets of DC and NYC if they did.
IMHO... anyone still using IE7 or any IE should be taxed
Can't think of a time DiCaprio worked with Tarantino so it should definitely be a pretty interesting & entertaining movie.
^^^Geriatric ghettos, as it were. Love it.
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