So today is my summer intern’s last day. Did I get some free coffee? No. Did I get a Donut? No. Did I even get a “Thank you for being such a wonderful role model and nurturing my young mind”? Nope. That’s ok, he’s still got another 8 hours to make up for it. But it did get me fantasizing about what I would do if today was my last day. At least 5 times a day I say in my inside voice “F this sh*t”, so today I decided to list out what I would actually do if it were my last day and I didn’t care about future job prospects.
There would be a few scenes a la Office space where I take out my pent up aggression on the printer from 1984 that is still on my desk that was supposed to be removed “this week”. But I’d like to think I’d also have a little fun with the rest of the cube monkeys and really go out with a bang
- I would crazy glue all of my co-workers items to his desk
- I’d run full speed down the aisles and just drop kick trash cans
- Definitely flip a few desks
- Maybe I’d be that guy that pooed in the urinal
- I’d rig a few office chairs so that they’d fall apart when people sat down
- Through my own going away party with a bottle of jamesons and some chipotle
- I would steal so many office supplies
- And to finish strong, I’d probably knock over the water cooler by my desk that things been asking for it all year
I’m just kidding – I would just send out the backhanded good bye e-mail and worry about whether or not I would have to prostitute myself to pay the rent. What would you do if today was your last day of work?
Slack. Won't do sh!t today. Write a thank you email before leaving and take visiting cards of MD, VP etc for future follow-ups.
I would never do any crazy stuff that could hurt my chances of getting full-time or hire next year again as an intern.
Come on cfaboston28; have a little fun... lets say it was your last day, plus you were invisible for a few minutes
That's very adorable of you to do those things even though you aren't seeking future employment. I hope when I'm a boss man I can find an employee like you.
-Upper deck the toilet -Porn on analysts' computers; volume optional -Have interns congratulate straight analyst on being engaged to same-sex partner; observe aftermath -Become cornholio (see: Beavis and Butthead)
last day and didn't care about future employment? I'd just leave
This, if you didn't care about future employment why would you stick around drop kicking trash cans?
Shit on Deborah's desk
Eat a bagel?
I would march over to office-hot-guy and smooch him, steal all the hot chocolate k-cups for the keurig, then leave.
Almost lol'ed, I think i need a break
Hide resumes throughout the office in strategic postions (tape one up in front of urinal)
Find some occupy wall streeters and bring them up to the office and see what happens. tell them that theyll have a chance to see the inside corruption of wall st and then let them into MDs office before he gets in.
control+alt+ arrows a bunch of computers
alt+shift+PrtSc
EDIT: I'd throw a party in the office, starting at noon.
I would probably bring in a bunch of conolis or something.
Let's not ponder over things we never did/will do. Money never sleeps pal. Get back to work.
This list is pathetic.
Scroll the internet until my eyes bled....oh wait
grab some paintballs and do what Ari Gold did when he bought Terrence's company
"where are you Davies?!!"
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