If today was your last day
So today is my summer intern’s last day. Did I get some free coffee? No. Did I get a Donut? No. Did I even get a “Thank you for being such a wonderful role model and nurturing my young mind”? Nope. That’s ok, he’s still got another 8 hours to make up for it. But it did get me fantasizing about what I would do if today was my last day. At least 5 times a day I say in my inside voice “F this sh*t”, so today I decided to list out what I would actually do if it were my last day and I didn’t care about future job prospects.
There would be a few scenes a la Office space where I take out my pent up aggression on the printer from 1984 that is still on my desk that was supposed to be removed “this week”. But I’d like to think I’d also have a little fun with the rest of the cube monkeys and really go out with a bang
- I would crazy glue all of my co-workers items to his desk
- I’d run full speed down the aisles and just drop kick trash cans
- Definitely flip a few desks
- Maybe I’d be that guy that pooed in the urinal
- I’d rig a few office chairs so that they’d fall apart when people sat down
- Through my own going away party with a bottle of jamesons and some chipotle
- I would steal so many office supplies
- And to finish strong, I’d probably knock over the water cooler by my desk that things been asking for it all year
I’m just kidding – I would just send out the backhanded good bye e-mail and worry about whether or not I would have to prostitute myself to pay the rent. What would you do if today was your last day of work?






Comments
Slack. Won't do sh!t today.
Slack. Won't do sh!t today. Write a thank you email before leaving and take visiting cards of MD, VP etc for future follow-ups.
I would never do any crazy stuff that could hurt my chances of getting full-time or hire next year again as an intern.
last day and didn't care
last day and didn't care about future employment? I'd just leave
cfaboston28: Slack. Won't do
Slack. Won't do sh!t today. Write a thank you email before leaving and take visiting cards of MD, VP etc for future follow-ups.
I would never do any crazy stuff that could hurt my chances of getting full-time or hire next year again as an intern.
Come on cfaboston28; have a little fun... lets say it was your last day, plus you were invisible for a few minutes
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
Shit on Deborah's desk
Shit on Deborah's desk
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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I would march over to
I would march over to office-hot-guy and smooch him, steal all the hot chocolate k-cups for the keurig, then leave.
Hide resumes throughout the
Hide resumes throughout the office in strategic postions (tape one up in front of urinal)
Find some occupy wall streeters and bring them up to the office and see what happens. tell them that theyll have a chance to see the inside corruption of wall st and then let them into MDs office before he gets in.
When evaluating whether or not to post something on WSO, I think to myself, "would an idiot post this" and if the answer is yes, I do not post that thing...
control+alt+ arrows a bunch
control+alt+ arrows a bunch of computers
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geofinance: last day and
last day and didn't care about future employment? I'd just leave
This, if you didn't care about future employment why would you stick around drop kicking trash cans?
alt+shift+PrtSc
alt+shift+PrtSc
|| But feeling good and enjoying life are prerequisites to success, not by products of it- Midas Mulligan Magoo ||
BlackHat: Shit on Deborah's
Shit on Deborah's desk
Only after hitting on her and getting rejected.
EDIT: I'd throw a party in
EDIT: I'd throw a party in the office, starting at noon.
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
I would probably bring in a
I would probably bring in a bunch of conolis or something.
"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."
cfaboston28: Slack. Won't do
Slack. Won't do sh!t today. Write a thank you email before leaving and take visiting cards of MD, VP etc for future follow-ups.
I would never do any crazy stuff that could hurt my chances of getting full-time or hire next year again as an intern.
That's very adorable of you to do those things even though you aren't seeking future employment. I hope when I'm a boss man I can find an employee like you.
-Upper deck the toilet
-Porn on analysts' computers; volume optional
-Have interns congratulate straight analyst on being engaged to same-sex partner; observe aftermath
-Become cornholio (see: Beavis and Butthead)
I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival.
Let's not ponder over things
Let's not ponder over things we never did/will do. Money never sleeps pal. Get back to work.
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
This list is pathetic.
This list is pathetic.
Scroll the internet until my
ans2389: steal all the hot
grab some paintballs and do
I always wanted to do the
jrt336: BlackHat: Shit on
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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BlackHat: jrt336: BlackHa
BlackHat: jrt336: BlackHa
This is a story of a guy who
Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital
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jrt336: BlackHat: jrt336:
I'm like one of them marriage counselors. Charge by the hour to tell some fool he needa bring some flowers home. Then charge another hour telling the bitch she oughta suck some cock every little once in a while. Keep a marriage strong like that. -Prop Joe