Critique my pitchbook

swagon:

bro, sex sellz. put some pics of yung hottiez in thurr and u will sell way more dawg. hot bishes attract tha $crilla

This is a serious request. Don't appreciate the trolling.

blueslord2910:

Do you need any interns?

Not really. We have a small team but we have all the folks we need. The main thing we're looking for is capital introduction -- hence the request for critique on the pitchbook, which we will be sending out to potential investors soon.

Connor:

Are you an information systems major or what?

I work in analytics and database management for political organizations. My partner is a PhD candidate and Master's in statistics.

God of Wine:

I am not a fan of contractions or oxford commas.

Also, it is weird seeing "It Works on Stocks Too", I get that formatting is probably key; however, should it be "It Works on Stocks, Too"?

I would remove the ellipsis on the slide titled, "The Basic Process: Building the Algorithm"

If these results are real, congratulations.

I think that would be an unnecessary comma. I'll check with someone whose grammar is better than mine, though. Good point on the ellipsis.

Thanks, the results are backtested, but rigorously so. Build and test data are kept entirely separate, and the algorithms we use are selected at random and averaged together, so there's no hindsight involved in our methods. It's entirely representative of what we would have earned on a given equity in a given year.

Towards the end we mention that our pilot fund has done 10% since Dec 2011, which is live trading. Is that noticeable enough?

helpmepleasethx:

If you don't mind me asking how were you smart enough to figure this out. If you were doing political work before, seems very unfinance related.

The main thing is that I was doing analytics work and database management -- although it was in a political application. I picked up a lot of experience in stats and analysis for targeting voter demographics, predicting turnout, etc.

And as I said, my partner is a Master's in statistics, and a PhD candidate currently. So we came at this primarily from a statistics point of view, not a financial point of view.

helpmepleasethx:

Thanks, I realize now that my question comes across a little skeptical or condescending, didn't mean it like that at all. How did you get into doing that for political organizations? I'm interested in politics and statistics, were you a stat major?

No, I started out doing organizing -- good old grunt work. Then, I trained with a campaign how to become a database manager, and it just went from there. Picked up skills on the job. If you have a stats background you could probably jump right in with most orgs though.

mhurricane:

I can come in and work for free. It looks great, though. However, why not just stick to a consistent color throughout?

We wanted to use the colors predominant in the photo, and also to denote different sections of the pitchbook.