Flake and ah are having a baby!

...or at least Whiskey thinks so.

We were bored. Decided to do some casual trolling and kind of over committed. AH has been setting Whiskey up and planting the seed (pun intended) for two days straight, going from suicidal to asking Whiskey if he thought I would marry her.

She told Whiskey I didn't know yet and asked him to speak to me about it. The entire convo is below. It's long but some parts I thought were pretty funny:

me: what Whiskey: bro ok i am being pressured into having this conversation with you. so don't hate the messenger me: are you dying Whiskey: how would i be the messenger damn me: cause im ok with that LOL Whiskey: ouch me: sorry go Whiskey: LOL fucking troll ok no seriously me: idk message from jesus Whiskey: i found out about you n ah yesterday. and she was freaking about. she said she missed her period she texted me and was freaking out n shit she was like can u please talk to flake etc etc and i didn't feel like it was my place to do so, but shes been chatting me up about that shit non-stop me: what do you mean found out about me and ah? what did she tell you like everything lol Whiskey: oh she just said after we all met up you went back to her hotel me: oh wtf okay Whiskey: was really vague me: and she missed her period. wtf how long ago was that shit Whiskey: yeah she took a test and said positive me: when did she come here .... are you trolling me lol Whiskey: no unless she is trolling me and i dont think she is she felt really awkward talking to you about it which is why she has been avoiding you me: positive? ... like positive for a fucking kid Whiskey: yeah... me: fuck man i always pull out and i did it so many fucking times no way and i never had this fucking scare wtf so shes what like 4 weeks 5? Whiskey: well she told me yesterday so must be around 4 me: cant you abort that shit up to like 2 months or something wow my stomach just sank Whiskey: yeah dude i dunno what to say. sorry bro me: if you're fucking with me i will kill you lmao Whiskey: i'm definitely not promise me: ... how the fuck what do i do now i dont want that shit Whiskey: i don't blame you me: i meant cant i just walk away, there's no legal recourse on her part right if she keeps it for whatever fucked up reason? Whiskey: i mean if shit really goes down, you may want to talk to a lawyer about it i mean when we spoke, i asked if shes keeping it. shes like "i'm very pro life, blah blah" me: yah okay, every pro life chick probably says that until shit hits the fan im afraid to call her i cant even fucking talk right now besides she probably wont even pick up Whiskey: i told her to call you many times and shes just like freaking out n shit ill see if i can get her to call you? Sent at 9:29 PM on Tuesday me: she better fucking do something. Whiskey: i'll text her hang on Sent at 9:30 PM on Tuesday me: this is ridiculous Whiskey: yeah shes definitely being immature about it Sent at 9:33 PM on Tuesday Whiskey: she'll call you in a few she says me: okay. thanks. Whiskey: sure thing. dont hate the messenger though! Sent at 9:35 PM on Tuesday me: okay shes fucking hysterical im going to fucking drive down there or some shit she'll do something stupid i know it she just hung up on me and wont pick up again. i told her not to keep it...wtf am i being unreasonable here Whiskey: uhh Sent at 9:40 PM on Tuesday me: okay im taking tomorrow off fuck it im going later Whiskey: ok man me: FUCK the initiation god damn it Whiskey: take it easy me: is going to be so fucking pissed for having to work this weekend wtf do you tell him, "IM HAVING AF UCKING BABY" god fucking damn it why didnt u tell me ysterday Whiskey: dude she didnt want me to say anything me: i could've planned a day off earlier or some shit or stayed late last nightto go there today Whiskey: and i told her you needed to know me: thats something u tell me man wtf yeah no shit Whiskey: dude i swear i thought she was trolling me given it was april 2nd thought it was some late april fools hsit shit* me: yeah hilarious alright fuck it. whatever happens at work tomorrow happens. she's unstable i dont een know if she has roommates and shit that would take care of her right now does she? did she tell u she does? Whiskey: yeah she does have roommates me: i dont even know if she lives in a single okay jesus Whiskey: dont just drive down there man that wouldn't be so good me: well wtf would you do Whiskey: definitely try to talk on the phone first. me: she wont fucking answer! Whiskey: so what happened on the phone? you guys spoke for like a minute and she hung up? me: i kind of snapped at her. ok my fault but what the fuck? like why wouldn't she come to me first. then i told her she cant keep it and her time is running out to do it she broke down and said im a fucking asshole and hung up on me Whiskey: ok so i'll get you guys on the phone again but definitely don't do that give it a day for it to calm down and i'll try and get her to answer your call and just talk to her because its obvious she doesn't want a kid either. it works in your favor Sent at 9:50 PM on Tuesday Whiskey: also don't blow off work. that's the last thing you want to put at risk me: did you talk to her? shes calling ok i gtg ill see if i go or not later Whiskey: ok no i haven't talked to her