Going to MD's House

So my MD has invited a bunch of people (his friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc) to his house for a Sunday party in November. I obviously accepted.

What is the proper protocol to follow here? (Dress, behavior, etc). There will be alcohol, and people will be bringing their children.

 
Best Response

In these sorts of situations, I like to err on the side of caution, and assume the party is for nudist, alcoholic swingers (and their next-of-kin, of course).

Start growing a 1970s porn-stache, and come to the party shitfaced and with an 8-ball of coke. The first person to speak with you is clearly looking for the hippety-dippety, but it's important to establish dominance at these events early, so look deep into his/her eyes, wait until it gets awkward, and then start urinating on them. Everyone knows swingers love golden showers. And they really love it when people maintain eye-contact throughout. To impress your boss, you're really going to need to focus.

And what should you wear to this Bacchanal? Who cares? Once you've pulled your penis out, it doesn't really matter, does it? WRONG! You MUST wear a cock ring and assless chaps. If you're feeling dangerous, bring your Viking helmet and Dracula cape, but leave your clown wig at home (you wouldn't want things to get wierd, would you?). There is actually quite a lot of debate over the use of a clown wig at a swingers' party. After all, how do you run a 'rodeo' without one? Nevertheless, as I mentioned earlier, I am probably overly cautious when it comes to these sorts of things, and advise leaving the wig in the back of your closet with your sexuality and the rest of your hopes and dreams.

Honestly, kid--it's a garden party on a Sunday in November with children present. Pace yourself with the drinks, mingle with the other guests, and wear nice, business casual clothes. No one is going to be there in a tux or a three-piece suit. At most, you will need to wear a blazer. And try to avoid hitting on anyone's wife/girlfriend/daughter. Also, bring a bottle of something nice but not too flashy ($50-$80). And don't forget to stop being such a pussy.

 
brotherbear:
In these sorts of situations, I like to err on the side of caution, and assume the party is for nudist, alcoholic swingers (and their next-of-kin, of course).

Start growing a 1970s porn-stache, and come to the party shitfaced and with an 8-ball of coke. The first person to speak with you is clearly looking for the hippety-dippety, but it's important to establish dominance at these events early, so look deep into his/her eyes, wait until it gets awkward, and then start urinating on them. Everyone knows swingers love golden showers. And they really love it when people maintain eye-contact throughout. To impress your boss, you're really going to need to focus.

And what should you wear to this Bacchanal? Who cares? Once you've pulled your penis out, it doesn't really matter, does it? WRONG! You MUST wear a cock ring and assless chaps. If you're feeling dangerous, bring your Viking helmet and Dracula cape, but leave your clown wig at home (you wouldn't want things to get wierd, would you?). There is actually quite a lot of debate over the use of a clown wig at a swingers' party. After all, how do you run a 'rodeo' without one? Nevertheless, as I mentioned earlier, I am probably overly cautious when it comes to these sorts of things, and advise leaving the wig in the back of your closet with your sexuality and the rest of your hopes and dreams.

Honestly, kid--it's a garden party on a Sunday in November with children present. Pace yourself with the drinks, mingle with the other guests, and wear nice, business casual clothes. No one is going to be there in a tux or a three-piece suit. At most, you will need to wear a blazer. And try to avoid hitting on anyone's wife/girlfriend/daughter. Also, bring a bottle of something nice but not too flashy ($50-$80). And don't forget to stop being such a pussy.

hilarious

 
soitwouldseem:
brotherbear:
In these sorts of situations, I like to err on the side of caution, and assume the party is for nudist, alcoholic swingers (and their next-of-kin, of course).

Start growing a 1970s porn-stache, and come to the party shitfaced and with an 8-ball of coke. The first person to speak with you is clearly looking for the hippety-dippety, but it's important to establish dominance at these events early, so look deep into his/her eyes, wait until it gets awkward, and then start urinating on them. Everyone knows swingers love golden showers. And they really love it when people maintain eye-contact throughout. To impress your boss, you're really going to need to focus.

And what should you wear to this Bacchanal? Who cares? Once you've pulled your penis out, it doesn't really matter, does it? WRONG! You MUST wear a cock ring and assless chaps. If you're feeling dangerous, bring your Viking helmet and Dracula cape, but leave your clown wig at home (you wouldn't want things to get wierd, would you?). There is actually quite a lot of debate over the use of a clown wig at a swingers' party. After all, how do you run a 'rodeo' without one? Nevertheless, as I mentioned earlier, I am probably overly cautious when it comes to these sorts of things, and advise leaving the wig in the back of your closet with your sexuality and the rest of your hopes and dreams.

Honestly, kid--it's a garden party on a Sunday in November with children present. Pace yourself with the drinks, mingle with the other guests, and wear nice, business casual clothes. No one is going to be there in a tux or a three-piece suit. At most, you will need to wear a blazer. And try to avoid hitting on anyone's wife/girlfriend/daughter. Also, bring a bottle of something nice but not too flashy ($50-$80). And don't forget to stop being such a pussy.

hilarious

Priceless

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Banana to BrotherBear for effort - well done. I agree - just wear some khakis and a polo or button up. As far as drinking goes, you've got to figure out just what kind of party this is. I've been to parties at partners' houses where everyone is there to get hammered, and I've been to mid-day schmooze fests that don't call for more than a glass of white or two. You'll know within 10 minutes of walking in what type of dance you'll be doing. Also, you don't need to bring a bottle of anything, especially not a $50 bottle of wine. You're an analyst, you'll be the only one that brought anything, and it will make you look weird. Bring the latest turn of that pitchbook as a housewarming gift instead.

Once you're inside, just try to match everyone else's level of intoxication (perhaps minus one or two servings). Socialize with your coworkers. Don't huddle with all the other analysts in the corner - mingle with the senior guys. This is your chance to show them there's some personality behind those spreadsheets. And for god's sakes, don't talk about work. You all work enough, nobody wants to talk about Project Boring Industrial Company right now. Basically just have a few drinks and try to pretend you're hanging out with your friends. And remember, leave your clown wig at home.

- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

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