Last week I was getting lunch with a young lawyer. He told me an anecdote about how one of his superiors said "the best way to get more business for yourself is to get older." Being 26 at a private equity firm myself, being taken seriously is something I as well as I'm sure many other young people on here struggle with. And as for getting older, I'm working on it but it's going to take a while.
What can I as an associate in private equity, or others on here in general, do as young people to be taken more seriously by older people in the field? Just looking for general tips.
more coke and smoking and drinking
or u could microwave your nuts like Randy in South Park
Get a good pump going before important shit.
Was considering getting on dat dere and intimidating my way to the top
You know what to do
your speech patterns have a lot to do with how you are perceived. filler words such as umm, ahh, like, yaknow, etc., make you sound stupid and sometimes immature (read: young). a way to combat this is be more deliberate in your speech, think about what you say instead of immediately responding. also, casual phrases such as "no problem," when someone says "thank you," do not help your case of being taken seriously.
another thing is fashion: if you're in NYC this will be tougher, I'm not in NYC so I don't know what the trends are. the main thing in my opinion is simply dressing older, meaning less trendy patterns, designs, cuts, etc. it's always appropriate to wear well tailored clothing, but maybe skip the 1 guard on the side and slick back on top, makes you look like you're either trying to be Eli Thompson's stunt-double on Boardwalk or you're trying too hard.
it all ties into how you present yourself, if you present well, you will be perceived well. if you speak properly, have good manners, and do not dress/groom ostentatiously, next you need to beef up your knowledge. I'm assuming your technical knowledge is spot on, but I'm talking about social knowledge, become worldly enough so that you could enter a room of 55 year olds and find something to talk about. you want to be able to answer the question "what have you been up to lately" with something other than "partying, sleeping around, and working on sub-debt deals." play sports, volunteer, network, whatever it takes, but just be interesting.
I appreciate that ;)
This is spot on. Make sure you stand and walk tall and articulate yourself clearly
Hah, I sit on a board of a nonprofit but don't like talking about it with people in finance because a lot of conservatives who have heard of us think we're a bunch of liberals (which isn't true at all). The rest of my life is basically what you said, unfortunately (bars, sports, girlfriend shit, video games, reading about business/finance/job-related stuff). Not sure what "being worldly" means.
I know I could work on my social skills more, and would love to become one of those people who can get everyone to like them in a couple minutes. I was in a car with one of our partners for an hour and basically couldn't think of what to talk about. I wasn't shy or anything, just didn't know what to talk about. Just seemed to have run out of things to discuss. That's usually my main problem.
I'm not really shy, but sort of feel out of place given I just started a couple months ago and am working with boards of companies and investors who have been doing this stuff for decades. Maybe that feeling is rubbing off on other people. I'm starting to settle in at networking, though, and it's improving as I get to know everyone involved with our firm regularly better, so that's good.
edit: to brush up on speech, look into toastmasters (I know they have in all major cities in the US, not sure if you're stateside or abroad)
the best advice I have in this case is be curious. if in the car with your partners don't talk shop, ask about their kids, their hobbies, etc., but do it genuinely, be genuinely curious. you don't make partner without having a good BS detector so you will need to actually care about their non-work lives. a marketing prof of mine (exec at a DJIA company) said the most interesting conversations you will ever have is when you're doing all the talking.
every human has an invisible sign on their chest that reads "make me feel important," and by being inquisitive and genuinely curious about someone's past, their interests, their family, etc., you will build a relationship. I personally find it fascinating to learn about how people got to where they are, their experiences, their wisdom, etc., and the more you do this, the more you will find it interesting too. ask open ended questions, and remember what people tell you (especially their kids' names).
being worldly in my mind means having experiences that are atypical that have helped shape who you are. for example, I teach golf to young kids, that's an experience I can talk about. you're on a non-profit board, you can talk about that. I've travelled to a central american country for fun (surf trip), but I can talk about that if asked. I'm sure you've travelled somewhere, talk about that if asked.
edit: also become well-read. it's fine to read books about business, but make sure you're not just reading technical stuff. for example, something like Warren Buffett's biography, Jim Rogers' books, and world news. you should be able to at least carry a conversation about major current events (Ukraine malaise, crisis in Syria, Korean ship sinking, etc.). Not saying you have to be able to be a columnist for the Economist, but at least show that you are not a robot.
the keys to being socially successful in the situations you described are being genuinely curious and also not talking a lot about yourself. you shouldn't talk about the experiences above unless someone prompts you or shares a similar experience (e.g. if someone talked about a recent international trip to a 3rd world country, I'd mention my trip).
read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People and use that as a tool, not a rulebook. the book was written over 80 years ago and the principles are all there, but the execution might have to be tweaked a bit.
Serious question: What's wrong with the response "no problem" to someone saying "thank you"? What would be better, just saying "you're welcome"?
saying "no problem" when someone says "thank you" is not proper English, it implies there was a problem when there was none. many people in their 20's don't care, but I guarantee people in their 40s & 50s do. Besides, it's convention to say things like "with pleasure," "my pleasure," "you're welcome," etc.
basically listen to how all of your friends talk and then listen to how politicians speak during both prepared remarks and Q&A. listen carefully for pauses, rhythm, word choice, inflection. never will a POTUS end a sentence with an upward inflection (such that it sounds like a question when it isn't), and this is a huge problem with my generation (children of baby boomers). things like that, they will never hurt you in social situations with your contemporaries, but they will hurt you when you're face to face with a client/potential client.
Get a face tattoo. If your unwilling to show that level of commitment make sure that you are the most prepared guy at the table. Face tattoos and preparedness are the two most important things if you want to be taken seriously. This obviously entails reading all materials, preparing relevant questions, and being prepared to answer anything thrown your way. Also, become an expert and valuable member of the team. You get taken seriously when you become indispensable. If none of that works gator boots and a pimped out Gucci suit should help your cause.
While only anecdotal, I have been getting taken significantly more serious ever since I started showing up to interviews with a top hat and cane. Your mileage may vary.
I think high confidence entails being taken more seriously.
You have to be careful though. Some people easily mistake confidence for arrogance and then they'll form an opinion about you that does not match what your are trying to portray.
Swagger. People want to follow, it's in our DNA. Step up, be the leader, take the mantel and people will fall into line. If you maintain absolute credibility and keep moving forward at an aggressive pace no one can stop you.
Have kids....that will rapidly age you.
Things I have learnt in the last months:
When it comes to British politics (something my generation seems pretty disillusioned with, myself included) or any political chat really, if people are discussing some big name and you don't know who they are or what they do, don't ask - Google, inform yourself so you don't look stupid.
Speak properly (when required). Day to day in the office I don't worry too much about how I sound, I throw in some typical young-person abbreviations and to be honest my co-workers crack up laughing at some, which isn't a problem in my opinion (some would disagree). However when it comes to a meeting and I'm asked to pitch an idea to the investment committee it's a whole different ball game. I slow myself right down, that stops me erming and arring and tripping over your words, and allows me to talk confidently and clearly and not mince my words or ramble on.
Pro-activity and diligence. Seek out work or other learning opportunities, people respect that, just don't be annoying. It's a young thing to sit around doing nothing (ironically, what I'm doing right now writing this). Diligence, if you get a simple task, don't mess it up, don't miss anything. When you complete a task make sure the person can't come back to you and say you've missed this, or what about the rest of this? If you make schoolboy errors expect to be treated like one.
I agree with a lot of the posters above. I have this same problem a lot of times. I am in my mid twenties and I get asked a lot: how college is going? The usually dissipates onces I begin talking, then all of the sudden if you are current and interesting (with a dash of confidence) they are leaning in to hear you talk. Confidence and the way you carry yourself is number one. in my opinion. The second would be dressing well and third would be speech mannerism.
Stuff a few socks in your underwear.
In my career I have noticed that you must be/have any 2 of these 4 things to be taken seriously:
Prior to having these things the best you can be is reliable. When I started my career I realized it didn't matter how much I knew, or even if I was better at a certain task than someone else, having some age and experience opened way more doors and afforded more opportunity regardless of ability.
I started writing down the non-work related attributes of these people and realized that they all had at least 2 of any of those four qualities. A senior associate at 26 married with two kids was looked at more favorably than a 28 year old senior that was single with no grey hair or children.
No rhyme or reason, it just was. So I resolved not to change the system, but to use the system to my advantage. I made sure everyone that was taken seriously knew that they could rely on me. And sure enough, when I passed the magical step of being married and over 30 people started treating me differently.
This really isn't scientific. I'm sure the root of all of this is that it takes you 6-7 years to gain enough experience to be taken seriously and to be promoted to a position where your title conveys a sense of authority, but those four qualities are always present.
This is representative bias at its finest.
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