Review my Resume - I give SBs

I'm helping a friend with his resume, this is the last part of the process before he completely gives it a facelift thanks to your comments! Please ignore the formatting errors on razume.

http://www.razume.com/documents/22599

For your efforts, I will give you one SB! Plenty to go around ... over 100

 
Best Response

My initial thought is that there is a lot of white space, and I would like to see a bit more quantification in your (or your friend's) bullets. On my first 5 second scan, the only number I saw apart from GPA, was "20 colleagues." You should try to spin your technology experience in a way that would make you attractive to a tech banking analyst position (assuming you are looking to work in IB), because currently I would think you are applying to IT positions at a bank. If you are then that's fine, but assuming you want to work in IB, you will need to expand your experience and fill out that white space. The fact that you speak 2 languages is a plus, but you may need to list some extracurriculars to offset a low GPA.

 

well in that case, i would suggest more numbers, less white space, and more detail. "let operation system deployment"? "provided technical assistance" ? be more specific. Do you have any leadership experience? Your resume just looks like a lot of blank space.

"certified info tech services technician" - did you certify someone or does this imply you are certified? not clear.

"worked face to face with customer" - change this. maybe "initiated and completed sales with X number of customers by personally pitching products"

"product presented" - change this. start it with a verb. "presented product"

 
  • i would break up the SAT score into maht/verbal/writing

-under work experience & leadership experience you have not listed any leadership experience. The would be a good use of the white space. Based on your resume i have no idea what kind of FT you're looking for but if you're interested in finance I'd at least put down some club activities.

 
  • Unless you're from another country where English is not that common, there's no need to include 'English' in the languages section

  • As everyone else mentioned - too much white space. If you have any extracurrics or belong in any volunteering organizations where you've demonstrated leadership, organization skills or initiative - definitely include it. Sports are great too

  • Feels too IT-ish if you/your friend is applying to banking/consulting/etc (even if your most recent exp is in IT, you can still spin it). Spin your points to highlight that you've made things more efficient, that you have spotted problems - and not only fixed it but improved on the way things are done. If you're highlighting efficiency, should throw some numbers in there if you have the figures - like if you've saved each person 1-2 hrs in wasted time per person, you can say improved efficiency and resulted in 30-40 hrs of saved time for the team or something like that

  • Any figures from your Sales Rep role? How much revenue did you generate for the firm?

 

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