Salespeople who refer to themselves as investment bankers...

I agree. I'll just tell people unfamiliar with the industry that I'm interning in "Investment Banking". Shit, most don't even know what that means.

That said, if I ever worked in anything like "Algorithmic volatility trading," I'd just say that and not "investment banking" to fuck with people.

http://www.leveragedsellout.com/2006/07/milk-im-money/

From Leveraged Sell-Out:

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do,” I began the proposal. “I’ll buy you girls your next three rounds of drinks if you can guess what my friend over there does for a living” I offered grandiosely, pointing at my friend who, on cue, raised his glass high in acknowledgement. The reflection off his Harvard ring was majestic.

The girls all looked at each other awkwardly, as if hoping some sort of greater group intelligence would instruct them on how to proceed. I stood slightly bent over, supporting myself with my palms on the table, and watched them. The DUFF was apparently also the most outgoing.

“Uhm. Let me take a wild guess. He is an investment banker?!” she responded in a fantastically sardonic tone.

Learned sarcasm from all those clever little bustedtees.com t-shirts, eh? I pushed myself back with my hands, leaned back, and let out a grand guffaw.

“WRONG!” I exclaimed. “He works in Fixed Income, Currency and Commodities which actually falls outside of the Investment Banking Division!!”

For now you only have to remember one thing. You can be whoever you want on the phone. So say what you have to. Use a different name if you want. Tell them you're a vice-president.

understand Wall Street so it really doesn't matter. If I was in equity sales I would say I'm a trader

A lot depends on the exact area you work in. "Sales and Trading" doesn't mean anything to anyone unless you're in a recruiting situation at school. So once I got out of school and got placed onto a desk on the floor I stopped saying S&T and just used my desk. In my case, it was commodities.

So if someone asked what I did I'd usually say "finance", then if they pressed I'd say "investment banking", and then if they cared or were also in finance I'd elaborate: "commodity derivatives". By that point you lose anyone asking the question unless they are in a similar role. So sales vs. trading vs. structuring rarely comes up....

I think a lot of people just say they're in "credit derivatives", "equity derivatives", "structured FX", etc.....

I usually say "bond trading". people get that, and it's close enough.

I just say "trader"

I used to say that I work in "mortgages" and then would get responses like "oh, well i'm trying to buy a New House, could you help me in getting a mortgage on it?"

To answer to the OP: Equity sales = investment banking = investment banker. It's not fucking hard, and any douche bag who says otherwise probably doesn't work in a bank, and still hasn't realized that there is something else beside Patrick Bateman in a bank.

Remember, you will always be a salesman, no matter how fancy your title is. - My ex girlfriend

... and if they drill down, I'll say "investment banking" and if they want to get more specific I'll get into my particular function.

That story is hilarious.

Yes, it's funny, but like all (or most) Leveraged Sellout stories, completely made up.