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Wall Street Oasis » Forums » Monkeying Around
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So, female banker is a big no for male banker?
 

kraviz's picture
kraviz
     
 
(Chimp, 11
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 6:30am

I know this is kinda silly to post this but I saw relationship advise thingy below, and thought it might be okay to ask you guys something..since most of people at this website are male bankers..

So my bf and I broke up and two days later his gf of three years sent me an email that even though we broke up I should know that he has a gf of three years and warned me not to contact him again...

We were in a long distance relationship, I am in NY and he is in Europe...and when he met me at first during his associate training, he was dating this girl for a while.. but he wanted me to be his gf and we called each other like crazy, went vacation together, etc...

And I met him while I was still in college. So everything (well expensive and upscale thing at least..) was very new to me and went to nice places in the city with him blah blah blah..escaped to beautiful islands in Mediterranean..etc..

Anyway. after her email, I asked him why did he cheat on her. Obviously I am in NY so it is impossible to spend lots of time together, we both knew that from beginning but he insisted that we were meant to be or said something similar..then he said he loves me and couldnt stop himself.
So I asked him then why did he agree to break up with me few days ago.
His response goes "I really don't want to date a banker, and that is why I agreed to break up with you."

?!

Why....? I didnt ask him for the further explanation, BC I dont want to look desperate, begging for an explanation. over is over, I believe.

Still. Why female banker is a big no..?! well I didnt study finance in college nor did I know anything about finance back then when I first met him, so I am not as scary as other finance girls out there...
If there was a problem with my personalities like fellow female bankers(scary, ambitious, condescending, obnoxious, overconfident... I found them to be unbelievably annoying, especially ones in IBD ) , he wouldnt start dating from the beginning.

Just because I got a job as a quant??? Is being a female banker a problem when it comes to dating?? Is he scared about me making more money and being more successful?? Out of jealousy??

You guys think it makes sense??

FYI, my ex and his gf of three years are still dating and I seriously cant figure out why he chose her over me... I am 5 years younger than him and she is 4 years older than him..So it makes me 10 years younger than her...she didnt even finish her college, works as a modelist (people who make clothes for designers...designers design, modelist create actual clothes from drawings). And regarding the looks, I am not the prettiest but not bad, and I assume dress quite well bc most of my family work in fashion industry...

The fact that he doesnt want to keep in touch with me anymore bc I have a better job than a modelist reallyyy makes me furious....!

Any idea or opinion would be really appreciated....I wanna hear male opinion...my girlfriends all said guys who cheat dont deserve anything, but I think every man cheats once or twice, so circumstances and emotions should be considered before just cursing them...

thank you guys

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Tags:
  • relationship advice
  • Monkeying Around
ibangedmybosseswifeandalligotwasthislousytshirt's picture

i've dated female

ibangedmybosses...
      PE
 
(Senior Monkey, 68
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 6:50am

i've dated female banker-types before. while many were either materialistic or annoying there were one in particular that was really sweet and quite caring. so it has nothing to do with that. it depends on the girl.

my assessment: "dont want to date a banker" was his excuse to avoid further explaining. men hate to talk. the real reason, (and sorry if this is blunt and harsh but the sooner you know it, the sooner you can move on) is that he was using you - a temporary fling to satisfy his temporary urges while he was in NYC. this is an arrangement some people have and he didnt want to come off as an asshole by admitting it. the time he was with you, his gf overseas was doing the same to another poor chap - using him to satisfy her temporary urges and then dumping him afterwards before she got back together with the guy she's been long term with. Some couples in long distance relationships take "breaks" with the mutual agreement that they will be back together but dont want to masturbate off Skype for the next 5 years. They treat sex and emotional dependancy as simply a distracting itch and nothing more - just something to "Get out of the way." my gf and i are close with a couple who did exactly this - they dated for 4 yrs before the guy had to attend London Business School. For 2 years they dated around and poked around and she even had a BF but once he got back, they got engaged.

couples who do this don't always tell the person they're using up front that "this is a temporary casual thing" because many people are turned off by that. They love the ones they were originally with (come to think of it- they must be in love if they dated for THREE whole years) but they don't have the moral self control to resist their need for sex, emotional dependency, and the whole "girlfriend experience" (which is why he called you his girlfriend). it's very asshole-esque and i dont condone it but hey that's life. the fancy dinners and vacations he took you on was his way of justifying screwing you over (literally and fig) in the end.

sorry girl, that's the truth. now move on! I hope at least the sex was good and the fancy vacations were worth it! No point pondering over this one.

blah.

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Viktri's picture

Maybe the guy didn't want to

Viktri
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 75
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 8:38am

Maybe the guy didn't want to be with someone values themselves based on their job? (I have a better job than she does, therefore I should be better value)

- V

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audaciou02's picture

edited

audaciou02
      IB
 
(Baboon, 170
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 8:46am

edited

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audaciou02's picture

Insightful and good post.

audaciou02
      IB
 
(Baboon, 170
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 8:46am

Insightful and good post. Silver banana for you!

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AQM's picture

Hey I'm sorry this had to

AQM
      IB
 
(Orangutan, 328
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 9:00am

Hey I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I've had a very similar experience, except I'm a dude. I met this girl at a summer program when I was really young (like 15). She lives in a central european country, while I'm here based in the states. Basically, we hit it off really well, and hooked up and everything. After the summer program, we kept in touch and made sure to let ourselves "tell all" so to speak about our hook ups and everything.

Now, this girl is unlike any I've met. She's very mysterious, and I feel as though she never tells me even half the truth sometimes. I grew up in a pretty lower middle class family, whereas she is extremely wealthy and frequently takes European vacations, etc. Her facebook is even filled with pictures of her partying at what seems like exclusive clubs, it's all really annoying because she couldn't get accepted to any American/European Law school, so she's going to the Carribbean lol.

Now here's where it gets really confusing. She's been dating this guy for about 2.5 years now. They seem really great together on the surface, but she told me that she got drunk and slept with another guy. When she came (1 year later) to visit me in the states, she even slept with me! All she said was that "oh don't tell my bf, don't tell him, it'll be terrible." My mind is telling me that this girl has probably cheated on her long term, long distance boyfriend many times and not just with me and another guy. My heart is telling me that the first guy was a fluke and that she actually cares about me. (That sounded stupid.) I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: wealth, party girl, most of her friends are guys, she cheated on her bf with me and another guy, she can't get into a legit grad school, etc. Maybe someone on this board could help me out as well?

Basically the girl in my situation, and the guy in your situation are the same people lmao

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FeelingMean's picture

AQM: I don't want to think of

FeelingMean
      VC
 
(Gorilla, 650
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 9:53am
AQM:

I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: she can't get into a legit grad school, etc.

lol what a slut

"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."

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That_Aston's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?

That_Aston
      CF
 
(Gorilla, 573
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 9:54am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ

Here to learn and hopefully pass on some knowledge as well. SB if I helped.

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SirTradesaLot's picture

AQM: I don't want to think of

SirTradesaLot
      O
 
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 4,500
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 11:01am
AQM:

I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: wealth, party girl, most of her friends are guys, she cheated on her bf with me and another guy, she can't get into a legit grad school, etc.

call me crazy, but I think the fact that she is sleeping around is what makes her a slut, not that she can't get into a 'legit grad school'.

Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital

My WSO Blog

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AQM's picture

SirTradesaLot: AQM: I don't

AQM
      IB
 
(Orangutan, 328
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 11:11am
SirTradesaLot:
AQM:

I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: wealth, party girl, most of her friends are guys, she cheated on her bf with me and another guy, she can't get into a legit grad school, etc.

call me crazy, but I think the fact that she is sleeping around is what makes her a slut, not that she can't get into a 'legit grad school'.

I was just trying to say she doesn't have her priorities straight. Not doing well academically is just an example of not having her priorities straight. My question is if my girl is sleeping around with mad guys. She only has like 210 facebook friends, she is older too. (like 25ish) She a lot different than girls from the states that's for sure.

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audaciou02's picture

I would say she's not your

audaciou02
      IB
 
(Baboon, 170
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 11:15am

I would say she's not your girl...and it's best you find someone else. Why not do your own trip to Europe? You seem more in love with the idea than the actual girl to be honest.

Anyways back to the original thread, Kraviz thoughts on the feedback?

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UFOinsider's picture

Just date who makes you

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,300
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 11:38am

Just date who makes you happy, what's all the fuss about?

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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melvvvar's picture

BANNER HEADLINE: GIRL GETS

melvvvar
     
 
(King Kong, 1,693
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 12:41pm

BANNER HEADLINE:

GIRL GETS DUMPED BY GUY LOOKING TO TRADE UP

LAME EXCUSE OFFERED

WORLD SHOCKED

STAND BY FOR DETAILS AS WE RECEIVE THEM

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historiclegend's picture

melvvvar: STAND BY FOR

historiclegend
     
 
(Baboon, 111
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 12:51pm
melvvvar:

STAND BY FOR DETAILS AS WE RECEIVE THEM

Subbed

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BTbanker's picture

No banker is this bad at

BTbanker
      IB
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 5,329
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 1:09pm

No banker is this bad at writing. Even if you're a woman.

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

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Misspartiesalot's picture

call me crazy, but I think

Misspartiesalot
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 79
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 7:05pm

[quote=SirTradesaLot]

AQM:

I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: wealth, party girl, most of her friends are guys, she cheated on her bf with me and another guy, she can't get into a legit grad school, etc.

call me crazy, but I think the fact that she is sleeping around is what makes her a slut, not that she can't get into a 'legit grad school'.[/quote

haha, yeah, AQM needs to get some serious logic.

--Money can't buy happiness. it can only buy orgasms.
--Who the hell says I want happiness? Orgasms all I need.

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Misspartiesalot's picture

ibangedmybosseswifeandalligot

Misspartiesalot
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 79
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 7:12pm
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--Money can't buy happiness. it can only buy orgasms.
--Who the hell says I want happiness? Orgasms all I need.

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chicandtoughness's picture

BTbanker: No banker is this

chicandtoughness
      CS
 
 
(Senior Gorilla, 979
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 8:10pm

"Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Currently: quantitative marketing/business development
Previously: management consulting, investment banking

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BTbanker's picture

chicandtoughness: BTbanker:

BTbanker
      IB
 
(Senior Neanderthal, 5,329
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 10:04pm

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

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TheKid1's picture

I can no longer tell if

TheKid1
      IB
 
(Senior Gorilla, 851
 
Points)
 on 8/14/12 at 11:21pm
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Misspartiesalot's picture

you guys easy on her. she is

Misspartiesalot
     
 
(Senior Monkey, 79
 
Points)
 on 8/15/12 at 2:41am

--Money can't buy happiness. it can only buy orgasms.
--Who the hell says I want happiness? Orgasms all I need.

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The Company is committed to fully disclosing our policies regarding the collection, use, maintenance, disclosure and security of personal information obtained from users of our site. The term "personal information" includes a name, address, email address, or any other information which could be used to contact you directly or to identify you personally.

Use and Disclosure Limitations

The Company only uses personal information about its Web site users for specific purposes. We do not share user information with third parties except when we have told users about the disclosures, when we have prior consent, or when required by law.

Use Policy: When the Company gathers personal information from users, we ask for permission first. We also disclose, at the time of collection, how the information will be used by us. Personal information is used for activities such as auto-completion of commonly-used forms and helping us contact you when you solicit information from us.

Disclosure Policy: We do not normally disclose personal information to anyone outside of the Company unless we have previously informed users about the disclosures. However, some data may be used from time to time by outside contractors, including auditors or consultants, to assist us in carrying out necessary financial or operational activities. These uses will be consistent with this privacy policy and all contractors using this potential personal information must agree to safeguard it, to use it only for the authorized purpose, and to return it or destroy it upon completion of the activity.

The Company might be required to disclose personal information in response to a valid legal process such as a subpoena, search warrant or court order.

Although unlikely, it is possible that we may have to make certain disclosures to ensure the security of our Web site, to protect its integrity, or to take precautions against potential liability. In any of these situations, we will take any reasonable steps to limit the scope of the data disclosed.

Web Logs: The Company maintains standard Web logs that record basic information about visitors to our Web site. These logs contain: * The Internet domain from which you came to our Web site. * Your IP address. An IP address is a series of numbers which uniquely identifies your connection to the Internet. Although it is possible in some instances, certain types of IP addresses may be used by interested persons to identify users but we do not attempt to identify users in this way. * The type of browser (e.g., Internet Explorer or Netscape) and operating system (e.g., Windows 98) you use. * The date and time you visited the site, and the pages you saw.

We use Web log information to design our Web site, identify popular features, and in similar ways. We do not try to identify individuals from Web logs or to link Web logs to other user information. However, if someone tries to damage our Web site or use it in an unauthorized or illegal way, we may share Web log information with law enforcement agencies. The Company may provide aggregate information such as the number of users who visit particular pages of the site, or the number of people who link to certain external sites from our site, to other parties.

Changes to Privacy Policy

The Company's features and services will change over time and our information-gathering practices and policies may also change.

While our philosophy of protecting user information from inappropriate uses and disclosures will not change, this policy will be updated occasionally to include any change that materially affects the collection, maintenance, use, or disclosure of personal information.

Forum Topics

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  • Hi guys, I am going to write a paper this summer about the Real Estate Private Equity Deal Structures and Trends and I was wondering whether you could come up with some interesting ideas on the research question/hypotheses to be tested. I am currently interning PERE and already have some network...
    REAL ESTATE PRIVATE EQUITY MASTER THESIS
  • IlliniProgrammer and MilitarytoFinance's comment about SCUBA diving on another thread made me wonder if there are any other certified divers on the site. What are your favorite dive locations? What dive certifications do you have? What is your dream vacation...
    Any SCUBA Divers on WSO?
  • Hello monkeys, Created this account to get a feel for things in the world of Wall St. and get a head start (within reason, of course). Been lurking on this site for a while now, and looking forward to enjoying the golden bits of WSO trolling/troll-busting :) But for now, just enjoying one of...
    Greenhorn intro
  • I currently work as a financial analyst at a major F500 company in Boston, MA, but I want to make the switch out of Corp Fin and into Investments. I am thinkg about research/investment analyst jobs. I currently have 2 years of financial analyst experience and I'm wondering what jobs I should...
    Corp. Fin Analyst seeking job in Investments - NEED ADVICE
  • I will be networking this summer to get ready for FT recruiting this Fall. I don't have a lot of alumni to network with that work in the groups I am most interested in-IB, Capital Markets, ER. I do, however, have some people I could reach out to that are in different departments. My...
    Informational Interviews With Other Groups Question
  • I've been thinking about the mobile app market and have begun to think of it as a bubble of sorts. This is given the case of Umano, an app that produces no original content, has no community and pays voice actors to record news articles. It has 40,000-60,000 daily users (I've created...
    Mobile Apps a bubble?
  • Hey all, I'm a rising junior (junior starting Fall 2013), and I'm interested in finding an IB internship at a BB bank next summer. I'd really appreciate criticism on my resume! Be harsh, I'd like to make it as competitive as possible. Pointers on content, formatting,...
    Resume: Looking for IB Internships
  • You see all these posts about people's internships where they are just doing bitch work, etc . . If you have had interns, what qualities made them the best intern? What qualities did you see in them that made you give them more work? What experiences did they have that allowed you to give...
    What was the best intern you ever had like?
  • Wall Street Oasis is looking for several hard working individuals to join our intern team to help with online-marketing tasks, specifically Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and link-building... ...
    Wall Street Oasis SEO Interns Needed NOW
  • I made a similar thread in the PE forum, but considering Real Estate is its own niche I figured I'd make a separate one here. If you already attended an target/ivy for undergrad, how necessary is an MBA for REPE? Do most shops expect you to get an MBA after 2 years as an associate, or do...
    MBA for REPE?
  • There have been several threads covering the value of an MBA in general in the past few months. Looking at input from experienced users on this site, it seems like the degree is most beneficial for people looking to either switch industries (Banking/Consulting), take a break, or re-brand themselves...
    MBA for PE?
  • Hey guys! Im 21, starting my last year of a non-target school in September, majoring in Economics:Finance( GPA not so good.. no really its pretty "f ing" bad, Im serious). By the time I turned 21 I got my series 7 (first shot) and 63. ( worked as a broker for your typical boutique...
    Hello, future wall street legend, (hopefully anyways)
  • Hello Fellow Monkeys, Could you help me with some suggestions of websites specially designed with market data for the pharmaceutical industry? Thanks in...
    Pharmaceutical Industry - News
  • Hey, guys i'm new to wso and i have a few questions that are very very basic to ask. What is consulting? What do consultants do? What do you do on a daily basis?...
    Very basic question about consulting?
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Highest Ranked Content

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I used to work with a guy that had everything on the surface, but absolutely nothing inside. The guy was 6 feet tall, good-looking, charismatic, multi-lingual, graduated from a top business school, and had made MD at a bulge bracket investment bank. Yet he couldn’t remember the last time he...
How to Develop a Personality
<em>Mod note (Andy): we vetted this user to confirm his identity/status and yes in fact he is who he says he is, and is eager to answer your questions :)</em> Bio: I decided to join WSO to help both students and young professionals advance in their Finance careers, whether that be...
I'm an MD and I run the Sales division: Ask Me Anything
I'm currently a Private Equity Analyst in Shanghai, China. Academically, I graduated from a target school majoring in Economics and Chinese. I also spent my time at college as the president of an on-campus student organization related to Finance and Economics and a volunteer for a local...
Ask me anything… I'm a Private Equity Analyst in Shanghai
You've just gotten that promotion and now you're in charge of a small team. Congratulations! And welcome to middle management. All the hard work and the knowledge you've developed about everything your firm does these past few years has been noticed. But, now you have a small...
7 Things I've Learned About Being A Manager
Assuming that you have access to no financial products such as FactSet, Bloomberg, CapitalIQ, Thomson or otherwise, thought it would be helpful to give a step by step guide on how to ramp up on a new company from your home computer. Using FaceBook as an example. Lets go ahead and start with the...
Basic Guide Ramping Up On A Company With Public Information (Part 1 of 3)
Fellow Primates, We are looking for 1-2 students on each campus to help WSO in its sales efforts to student clubs/career centers, and overall promotion at your school both online and on the ground. Below is a description of the position and benefits...thanks in advance for your help! <a...
WSO is Looking for Campus Reps For Summer/Fall 2013 (and beyond)
<em>“You know, In The Flesh,”</em> a WSO monkey told me at a recent Happy Hour, <em>“that gentleman’s book is the real deal. I ordered that shit on Amazon as soon as I read your review. It’s so right, man. I want to be like that: keep my word, honor my commitments, be...
Being A Gentleman, Revisited
<em>Mod Note: This is a syndication from Jared's Daily Dirtnap daily market newsletter. WSO readers qualify for a $100 discount...just email [email protected] and mention "WSO Monkey Discount" You can follow Jared on twitter at @dailydirtnap</em> There I go...
In Praise Of High Interest Rates
You guys are gonna have to get me caught up because I have literally been living in a cave for the past week. Well, several caves, but I'll get to that in a minute. I just got back from what was possibly the <em>least</em> relaxing (but most interesting) vacation of my life. In...
I Spent the Past Week in a Cave
That included Brady having a breakdown because he still couldnt get into Harvard. And then me getting my certified user status revoked and being really upset about it. Signs my life is pathetic? I think so.
Had a dream about WSO
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