So, female banker is a big no for male banker?
I know this is kinda silly to post this but I saw relationship advise thingy below, and thought it might be okay to ask you guys something..since most of people at this website are male bankers..
So my bf and I broke up and two days later his gf of three years sent me an email that even though we broke up I should know that he has a gf of three years and warned me not to contact him again...
We were in a long distance relationship, I am in NY and he is in Europe...and when he met me at first during his associate training, he was dating this girl for a while.. but he wanted me to be his gf and we called each other like crazy, went vacation together, etc...
And I met him while I was still in college. So everything (well expensive and upscale thing at least..) was very new to me and went to nice places in the city with him blah blah blah..escaped to beautiful islands in Mediterranean..etc..
Anyway. after her email, I asked him why did he cheat on her. Obviously I am in NY so it is impossible to spend lots of time together, we both knew that from beginning but he insisted that we were meant to be or said something similar..then he said he loves me and couldnt stop himself.
So I asked him then why did he agree to break up with me few days ago.
His response goes "I really don't want to date a banker, and that is why I agreed to break up with you."
?!
Why....? I didnt ask him for the further explanation, bc I dont want to look desperate, begging for an explanation. over is over, I believe.
Still. Why female banker is a big no..?! well I didnt study finance in college nor did I know anything about finance back then when I first met him, so I am not as scary as other finance girls out there...
If there was a problem with my personalities like fellow female bankers(scary, ambitious, condescending, obnoxious, overconfident... I found them to be unbelievably annoying, especially ones in IBD ) , he wouldnt start dating from the beginning.
Just because I got a job as a quant??? Is being a female banker a problem when it comes to dating?? Is he scared about me making more money and being more successful?? Out of jealousy??
You guys think it makes sense??
FYI, my ex and his gf of three years are still dating and I seriously cant figure out why he chose her over me... I am 5 years younger than him and she is 4 years older than him..So it makes me 10 years younger than her...she didnt even finish her college, works as a modelist (people who make clothes for designers...designers design, modelist create actual clothes from drawings). And regarding the looks, I am not the prettiest but not bad, and I assume dress quite well bc most of my family work in fashion industry...
The fact that he doesnt want to keep in touch with me anymore bc I have a better job than a modelist reallyyy makes me furious....!
Any idea or opinion would be really appreciated....I wanna hear male opinion...my girlfriends all said guys who cheat dont deserve anything, but I think every man cheats once or twice, so circumstances and emotions should be considered before just cursing them...
thank you guys
i've dated female banker-types before. while many were either materialistic or annoying there were one in particular that was really sweet and quite caring. so it has nothing to do with that. it depends on the girl.
my assessment: "dont want to date a banker" was his excuse to avoid further explaining. men hate to talk. the real reason, (and sorry if this is blunt and harsh but the sooner you know it, the sooner you can move on) is that he was using you - a temporary fling to satisfy his temporary urges while he was in NYC. this is an arrangement some people have and he didnt want to come off as an asshole by admitting it. the time he was with you, his gf overseas was doing the same to another poor chap - using him to satisfy her temporary urges and then dumping him afterwards before she got back together with the guy she's been long term with. Some couples in long distance relationships take "breaks" with the mutual agreement that they will be back together but dont want to masturbate off Skype for the next 5 years. They treat sex and emotional dependancy as simply a distracting itch and nothing more - just something to "Get out of the way." my gf and i are close with a couple who did exactly this - they dated for 4 yrs before the guy had to attend London Business School. For 2 years they dated around and poked around and she even had a BF but once he got back, they got engaged.
couples who do this don't always tell the person they're using up front that "this is a temporary casual thing" because many people are turned off by that. They love the ones they were originally with (come to think of it- they must be in love if they dated for THREE whole years) but they don't have the moral self control to resist their need for sex, emotional dependency, and the whole "girlfriend experience" (which is why he called you his girlfriend). it's very asshole-esque and i dont condone it but hey that's life. the fancy dinners and vacations he took you on was his way of justifying screwing you over (literally and fig) in the end.
sorry girl, that's the truth. now move on! I hope at least the sex was good and the fancy vacations were worth it! No point pondering over this one.
edited
Insightful and good post. Silver banana for you!
+1 What a relationship coach potential here! No wonder your boss's wife picked you. Care to be my paid personal coach in the future?
Maybe the guy didn't want to be with someone values themselves based on their job? (I have a better job than she does, therefore I should be better value)
Hey I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I've had a very similar experience, except I'm a dude. I met this girl at a summer program when I was really young (like 15). She lives in a central european country, while I'm here based in the states. Basically, we hit it off really well, and hooked up and everything. After the summer program, we kept in touch and made sure to let ourselves "tell all" so to speak about our hook ups and everything.
Now, this girl is unlike any I've met. She's very mysterious, and I feel as though she never tells me even half the truth sometimes. I grew up in a pretty lower middle class family, whereas she is extremely wealthy and frequently takes European vacations, etc. Her facebook is even filled with pictures of her partying at what seems like exclusive clubs, it's all really annoying because she couldn't get accepted to any American/European Law school, so she's going to the Carribbean lol.
Now here's where it gets really confusing. She's been dating this guy for about 2.5 years now. They seem really great together on the surface, but she told me that she got drunk and slept with another guy. When she came (1 year later) to visit me in the states, she even slept with me! All she said was that "oh don't tell my bf, don't tell him, it'll be terrible." My mind is telling me that this girl has probably cheated on her long term, long distance boyfriend many times and not just with me and another guy. My heart is telling me that the first guy was a fluke and that she actually cares about me. (That sounded stupid.) I don't want to think of this girl as a slut, because I care about her, but every sign is there: wealth, party girl, most of her friends are guys, she cheated on her bf with me and another guy, she can't get into a legit grad school, etc. Maybe someone on this board could help me out as well?
Basically the girl in my situation, and the guy in your situation are the same people lmao
lol what a slut
I was just trying to say she doesn't have her priorities straight. Not doing well academically is just an example of not having her priorities straight. My question is if my girl is sleeping around with mad guys. She only has like 210 facebook friends, she is older too. (like 25ish) She a lot different than girls from the states that's for sure.
haha, yeah, AQM needs to get some serious logic.
I would say she's not your girl...and it's best you find someone else. Why not do your own trip to Europe? You seem more in love with the idea than the actual girl to be honest.
Anyways back to the original thread, Kraviz thoughts on the feedback?
Just date who makes you happy, what's all the fuss about?
BANNER HEADLINE:
GIRL GETS DUMPED BY GUY LOOKING TO TRADE UP
LAME EXCUSE OFFERED
WORLD SHOCKED
STAND BY FOR DETAILS AS WE RECEIVE THEM
Subbed
No banker is this bad at writing. Even if you're a woman.
I couldn't get past the second paragraph. Can't tell if serious post or not; I'm finding it hard to believe someone would take the time to whine about it on a public forum in such excruciating detail.
I can no longer tell if Kraviz is a spammer or not. Too much relationship post from you. It seems like your desperate to be in a relationship. As cliche as this sounds if its meant to happened it will, you can't keep pondering on why someone broke up with you or how to meet guys. Focus on your work and get busy with that. Many people today don't find there "soul mate" until late twenties and even early thirties.
you guys easy on her. she is just being emotional. poor baby, I'm here to console. Why not you just take what they told you and figure out a plan now. If I were you, I wouldn't mind slap myself and say "suck it up" then get on the way to find a MORE PRESENTABLE and MORE SUCCESSFUL company. But one day, as long as you still care, go to a social event with your new company and try to bump into the pair on purpose. I guarantee by then you will have a taste of the thrill a successful revenge can offer you.
A lot of men, especially European men, can't accept a woman counterpart that is more successful.
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