Bonus Bananas October 11, 2013

1) Cuban Case Is Poster Child For A More Aggressive SEC (Forbes) - I'm afraid this Forbes columnist has it all wrong. The SEC is barking up the wrong tree with Cuban, and it even looks like he did something inappropriate. But there's just no way the feds come away from this unscathed going up against Cuban's resources and disdain for authority.

2) Looting the Pension Funds (Rolling Stone) - Another Matt Taibbi Wall Street takedown piece, but man, he has really elevated it to an art form. You can't tell me that you don't enjoy his stuff even if it flies in the face of everything you believe or know to be true. The man is an artist.

3) Onetime head trader of firm that collapsed pleads guilty to fraud (Chicago Tribune) - Warren Buffett once famously said, "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." Surf's up, dude.

4) Supreme Court Takes Up Stanford Ponzi Scheme Case (FIN Alternatives) - Bernie Madoff got all the Ponzi press in 2009, but I'm firmly convinced Allen Stanford was the better story. Apparently the Supreme Court agrees.

5) Brooks Brothers is making a totally logical expansion into steakhouses (Quartz) - The truth is stranger than fiction.

6) Top 10 Office Hacks (Ask Men) - These might be tongue-in-cheek, but that doesn't mean it isn't solid advice. The stealth coat and the shitter shoes are pure genius.

7) What Is the Higgs? (NY Times) - François Englert and Peter Higgs won the Nobel Prize this week for their work on the Higgs Boson. But just what is it in plain English? Here is one of the greatest leaps in theoretical physics in human history laid out for you.

8) Las Vegas Stowaway, 9, Cased Airport Security Ahead of Time (ABC News) - This little shitheel is my new hero. Kid's like a tween Danny Ocean.

9) ‘Sugar Daddy’ Dating Sites Say Government Shutdown A Huge Boost To Sign-Ups (CBS News) - This one really has me scratching my head. What the hell does a government shutdown have to do with gold-digger dating sites? Is this just a correlation =/= causation thing?

10) Katzenberg Offered to Pay $75 million for Three Extra ‘Breaking Bad’ Episodes (Variety) - This is mind boggling. $25 million an episode. Bet they're wishing they took the money right about now.

Video of the Week:

I'm a huge fan of corporate transparency, and that's why I love the following video. It features Jon Basso, CEO of the Heart Attack Grill, admitting that his food is horrible for your health and that it will kill you if consumed in adequate quantities. He absolutely celebrates the fact that his food is among the worst things a person can eat, and the numbers prove that killing people with burgers is a great business model. He even hauls out the cremated remains of a customer who died of a heart attack in his restaurant. Enjoy:

That's it for this week, monkeys. Have a fantastic weekend and let me know what you think about this week's Bananas in the comments!

 

Rolling Stone article is one of your best finds in awhile IMO. Pretty long, but a really good read, and unfortunately not too surprising.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

Matt Taibbi is a fucking hack, he rails on shit he has no idea how it works. In that article he claims that RI would be paying tens of millions of dollars a year to the hedge funds. Has he even bothered to research his stories beforehand or does he just use the "well its right because I say its so" approach. The dude is the definition of blogger. He is the shit stain on the world of real journalism.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Do you have any evidence to the contrary of what he said? Or are you just going to resort to degradative remarks as equally unfounded as those you are attacking?

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 
Best Response
TheKing:

Taibbi is great. If you call him a hack, back it up. The guy is the best in the business.

See, when I read things like this, I'm forced to conclude that either 1) we maintain very different definitions of what it means to be a quality journalist or 2) people aren't subjecting stories with which they agree to any sort of intellectual scrutiny. Matt Taibbi is many things, but it strikes me as disingenuous to call him "the best in the business".

One thing I must get out of the way: I think the emphasis of political journalism on "fact checks" is overwrought. If I were to flip on Bill O'Reilly right now, no doubt he'd be railing on some inane factual inconsistency on last night's episode of the Daily Show. Tune into tonight's episode of Rachel Maddow, and you'll be spending your evening listening to Rachel rant about whatever today's token factual mistake on Fox was. None of this adds any value to political discourse, it's just a convenient method of killing 10 minutes of your airtime while your target audience continues to nod their head.

Matt Taibbi is an editorialist. His job is to write about factual events and present an argument that is thought-provoking, intellectually rigorous and surprising. Yet, never do I read about the goings-on in the world and think, "I wonder what Matt Taibbi thinks about this..." After reading one or two Taibbi articles, it should be a foregone conclusion.

Taibbi is adept at laying out the left-wing party line on any issue of national importance, especially if it involves Wall Street. But that has nothing to do with being a good journalist. Just because you think Matt is an effective purveyor of your own opinions doesn't mean that he is "the best in the business". It means you agree with him. And given that you do, there is no better writer in the business to get your blood boiling and mind racing.

As a Libertarian, I particularly enjoy reading content on the Mises Institute. I find the analysis of global events "spot-on", and the bits of humor resonate. But just because I'm most amenable to editorials on Mises.org doesn't mean that they produce the highest-quality journalism. Simply that they are eloquent in their presentation of the Libertarian viewpoint.

Of course, you'll never log onto Mises.org and think, "I wonder what Mises will think about the government shutdown..." If you're a Libertarian, it's a place to visit to read something with which you already agree. And that's precisely the space that Matt Taibbi fills at Rolling Stone: a safe haven for those who feel Wall Street is full of greedy brutes who will stop at nothing to wrest society of any vestiges of honesty and equality. And that's fine, but it rules him out - in my book - for the title of "best in the business".

An article of Taibbi's that both comes to mind and illustrates this point is a piece he wrote during the election last year titled, "Greed and Debt: The True Story of Mitt Romney and Bain Capital" (don't you just already know you're in for a challenging piece of original perspectives and quality journalism?).

Taibbi's description of Romney:

Mitt Romney is no tissue-paper man. He's closer to being a revolutionary, a backward-world version of Che or Trotsky, with tweezed nostrils instead of a beard, a half-Windsor instead of a leather jerkin. His legendary flip-flops aren't the lies of a bumbling opportunist – they're the confident prevarications of a man untroubled by misleading the nonbeliever in pursuit of a single, all-consuming goal.

...

The incredible untold story of the 2012 election so far is that Romney's run has been a shimmering pearl of perfect political hypocrisy, which he's somehow managed to keep hidden, even with thousands of cameras following his every move. And the drama of this rhetorical high-wire act was ratcheted up even further when Romney chose his running mate, Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin – like himself, a self-righteously anal, thin-lipped, Whitest Kids U Know penny pincher who'd be honored to tell Oliver Twist there's no more soup left. By selecting Ryan, Romney, the hard-charging, chameleonic champion of a disgraced-yet-defiant Wall Street, officially succeeded in moving the battle lines in the 2012 presidential race.

Let's leave aside the fact that these two paragraphs read as though they were written by someone who just discovered the hyphen while walking home from his first seminar in "Written Punditry 101" (and, seriously, "shimmering pearl of perfect political hyprocrisy"? "Chameleonic champion"?? Can you imagine clumsier uses of alliteration?). The sheer volume of rhetoric stuffed into those two paragraphs literally make it difficult to read. Taibbi has so tightly packed his off-the-cuff liberal witticisms that I can barely follow the sentence structure.

The article on Romney is more incendiary than a Rush Limbaugh tirade on the pitfalls of Obama's presidency. There's no way you can read that article with any semblance of critical thinking and believe you are consuming a thought-provoking, quality piece of journalism. It's a mindless straw man into which his left-wing readership can sink their teeth and continue to reaffirm their political beliefs in the liberal echo chamber of Rolling Stone's current affairs pages.

It's just another version of Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, etc., etc., etc. And there's nothing fresh about that.

EDIT: So I just read the Taibbi article linked in Eddie's piece. Seriously? A conspiracy case about pensions putting money in alternative investment vehicles? This is WSO, there should be no need to point out individual instances of misleading rhetoric with which this piece is rife, per usual.

"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 

Epic response. Pieces like those penned by Taibbi are as pre-digested as news can be, but there is no doubting that he has garnered quite a following among his financially illiterate brethren. I don't know how anyone could expect anything less from a journalist who works for the stone. I think I will stick to reading the WSJ and the Economist for my financial news...
As you mentioned, the sad truth is that most people like hearing their own preconceived notions confirmed. I particularly enjoy reading Cato institute publications which have a libertarian slant, but at least these are written by academics who have a background relevant to their line of work. I highly doubt Taibbi has a background in finance and I would venture to guess he majored in something like "Creative Writing" which helped him artfully craft phrases like "shimmering pearl of perfect political hyprocrisy?"

I rarely feel the need to chime in on this forum but the mention of Taibbis name struck a chord. I am an analyst at a BB bank and my girlfriend's father emails me Taibbi's articles all the damn time. I guess he would rather she didn't date a banker, but hey, he is the one furloughed at the moment.

 

LOL @ HBO. I still like the Walking Dead, but the first season was much better to me when there was more terror. Sounds like this season should be better but yeah, it is slow going if you're not into the characters.

2) Eddie that about sums it up with Taibbi, I try to not like him but he's compelling as hell. I would need you monkeys to tell me whether he's full of it or not re: the more technical aspects of banks.

4) Totally agree, I read some pretty good Allen Stanford stuff early on and then it just died out, I felt sort of blue balled that we didn't get more coverage.

 

When I say he doesn't research his articles I mean he screws up basic facts. He interviews entirely from one side of the story. He writes nothing more than hit pieces. He is one of the main reasons I quit reading that garbage of a mag. Its the idea that you screw up a few small details in what you are saying and it doesn't matter if you have a valid point in the other 98% of what you say. If you can't take the time to learn about what you are talking about why should I even regard what you are saying? I don't expect anyone to be perfect but when you intentionally misrepresent facts about how an industry works in order to make your point. You have become nothing more than a hack blogger.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

What basic facts does he miss? You are attacking the rhetoric more than the facts at this point.

Also, you think 2% bias distorts the validity of the other 98%? What?

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

Yes, he intentionally distorts how hedge funds are compensated. If he intentionally distorts that I have to work under the assumption that the entire story is distorted that way, which it is.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

1 - Raj had substantially more and higher quality resources and he's in prison. I respect Cuban's business accomplishments but hey, if he broke the law, this is a shitty period of time for it. The SEC is actually attempting to do their job.

Great Higgs link, I'm going to send it to my mom, maybe she'll stop asking me to explain it every time I visit.

Get busy living
 

I like Taibbi a lot. But he overlooks one simple thing. The pension funds over promised in a different era of returns, and now rely on alternative investments to try to make up the lost yield.

Please don't quote Patrick Bateman.
 

The answer to number 9 is:

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 

2: Most of this stuff is true expert for the part about the Pew Trust being centrist (ROFL). The problem is that most pensions are switching to defined benefit plans that are managed by outside fund mangers. This hikes up the fees whilst reducing the returns. The solution would be to nationalize the public pension funds into one large plan, and then take it public. This would eliminate the middleman, and it would create economies of scale for the research and BO/MO tasks.

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 

@northsider and @l8gr8milton;

I'm not exactly sure what you are trying to say that isn't implicitly understood. Of course he has a liberal agenda, and I’m positive that many of his enduring readers do not question the viability of his articles, irrespective of their accuracy or partiality. However, regardless of the inflammatory rhetoric directed at financial service industry, I fail to see how his background or left-wing, pandering verbiage detracts from the validity of this particular article. Unless you can point out one piece of fallacious journalism in this exact article, then it seems to me that your point is moot.

You seem to be attacking the very same straw man that you chastise others for. I mean no disrespect by my comments, but it just seems classical WSO (or financier for that matter) to delude oneself with the notion of having superior knowledge on the subject, all the while aggregating other views as “they just don’t understand” or “they don’t know finance”.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

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"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 

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