If you could change one thing...

I sat here tonight, unsure of what topic to write about, tossing ideas around in my head and rejecting them all. Maybe it was the writer's block or maybe it was my roommate watching The Butterfly Effect in the background that made me decide what it was I wanted to write. It may not be banking related whatsoever but I feel it relates, as many of us on this site are still paving our own paths and figuring out our lives.

In hindsight, it's easy to see how the different choices we've made have shaped our lives, how the mistakes we've made have altered our paths. I'll be the first to admit there are several mistakes, rejections, and bad decisions in my past that I wouldn't mind changing. Yet at the same time I know that nearly each of those taught me something and made me better.

But what if you could change only one thing from your past, what would it be?

I feel that answering this question reveals a lot about what is truly important in your life. Would that single change improve your career? Or would it change your relationships with people? Perhaps it could even entirely change who you are. Or maybe it isn't even something that would change your life, but someone else's.

So what is it that you would change? More importantly, is there anything you can you do to make that change now, in the present?

As for myself, I would change the work ethic of my first half of college. Freshman and sophomore year I was not driven whatsoever. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Classes were still easy and required little effort. I coasted through those first two years, never really developing myself professionally whatsoever. I literally spent an entire summer on the beach, surfing every day and drinking with friends at night, while taking one summer school class learning Japanese. I worked extremely part time as a wedding DJ, earning just enough cash to get by.

It wasn't until my junior and sophomore year that I got an idea of what I wanted to do. I realized I desperately needed to find internships and I had very little relevant work experience to land even those. I joined various clubs at school, began working hard in my classes, and finding opportunities to network.

If I could change just one thing, it would be that I'd have found my drive earlier. While that summer may have been the best summer of my life, I can't help but feel as though it put me behind the 8 ball when it came to graduating and applying for jobs.

Out of all the mistakes in my past (including a relationship with a psychopath of a girlfriend that ended with me receiving three metal plates in my face), this is the one I would change. What about you?

 

Excellent thread; life gives us so many opportunities to regret shit; I just keep trying to remind myself that everyone who has ever been anyone has dealt with setbacks.

Scholastically: Not applying to Oxford and LSE, in the end my scores exceeded what was required and although that doesn't guarantee a place, I should have been more confident about it.

Career-Wise: Not sabotaging a sophomore interview for Ops SA when I found out half way through it was for Ops. I didn't know beforehand because it was through my college and the job title was very misleading. You have to accept the first offer you get so from them on in I was fucked. I later recieved offers from Big 4 Corp. Fin. and a boutique. I fought hard with the college but to no avail; I was so angry I almost dropped out.

In Life: Breaking up with a certain girl when I was 17.

Damn you Rodger! My WSO Blog
 

I could have not slacked off in high school and gone to a top ivy instead of a top public. I could have aced my BB IBD SA interviews and not gone a slightly different route.

But I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I love where I am right now. Because I 'screwed up' I had great experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. If I change even just one or two of my failures I wouldn't have learned great lessons and my life would have gone in a different direction.

 
Old Grand-Dad:
But I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I love where I am right now. Because I 'screwed up' I had great experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. If I change even just one or two of my failures I wouldn't have learned great lessons and my life would have gone in a different direction.

Exactly. This is why I have no regrets.

 
Best Response

OP, I don't think "finding your drive" is something you can change; drive and passion come instantly and suddenly. It is not a fault of yours that you didn't know what you wanted to do.

As for your question, there is nothing that I would have wanted to change because looking back at my life now, I realize that things happened the way they happened because it's a chain reaction; what I thought might have been a disaster or a catastrophe lead to a series of events that shaped me into who I am today. I can't regret not doing good in college for example, had I done so, I will have been a doctor never to realize how much I love finance and how hard I am willing to fight for it.

Don't want to change college choice as well, I chose a party school and spent several years prancing around from one country to another but then again that forced me to learn a few languages and those languages were obvious reasons why I got the jobs I got and why I know the people I know today.

The one thing I would change is behavioral and not necessarily a life altering choice (although it altered my perception and my priorities). One night during summer vacation (I was visiting home), I went out with a group of friends and around 4 am, my mother started calling me and as usual I would decline the call and not pick up because it's always the speech that goes something like "it's 4 am where are you, what is going on? is Mia drunk again?" etc. Mom called 15 times in a row and I declined the call all 15 times then switched my phone off. I got home around 7 only to find the doorman waiting for me to tell me that parameds have taken her to the hospital.

If I could go back in time, I would take the call- but since I didn't, now I realize how much I love her and how important she is to me. My relationship with her has transformed since then, and I ask for her forgiveness every chance I get.

I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force. See my WSO blog posts
 

I have to agree with the majority here. The things I regret in my life gave me the life I love today. If I took high school more seriously and I went to a target I wouldn't have met my wife. If I did get that football scholarship I wouldn't have met my closes friends. Life is funny and you can only see the humor and beauty as you get older. Day by day it becomes clearer then the prior day. It is almost like a pointillist painting. Ever event no matter how tragic (father's death) or how joyous (my wedding) blend together in time and become what makes you and as long as you like yourself there are should be no regrets.

P.S.: I do regret selling my Trans-am :(

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.- JFK
 

Gotten my MBA instead of my J.D. since (if things work out as I hope) I will never use my J.D. as originally intended.

But it's very hard to admit this since I've spent 3 years and over 100K on the law degree. But I figure if Jim Cramer didn't let a wasted J.D. get in the way of his path to success then I won't let it deter me either.

And yes, I just compared myself to Jim Cramer.

"Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes."
 

I would never change a thing. If anything I wish I made more mistakes than I did, and I've made a lot of mistakes in my life so far. Every screw up I've ever had has made me a better person. Maybe I should have listened to my dad more and not been as stupid about a lot of stuff, but I still think it's made me better for it.

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 

I would go back and change my major. I'm an Econ major at school, but if I were in our undergrad business program instead--which has a better reputation--my GPA would be wayy higher. That's a huge difference when it comes to recruiting. I also would've been able to avoid all those bs requirements like astronomy and literature. Moral of the story: choose your major(s) wisely.

See my WSO blog "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." Albert Einstein
 

I would have put some damn effort into high school instead of dicking around with video games and shit that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I try to look towards the future and not reflect on the mistakes of the past, though, since I usually get disappointed when I think about what I could have done. Of course it would be nice to change some things from the past, but honestly "regrets" make you stronger as a person. It's how we as humans build ourselves up and become stronger. It would be quite sad if you went through life without ever making a mistake because you would have no need for experience.

 

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