I don’t know about you, but I get along very well with the man who signs my checks every month. We have a blast when we go out, we both like our steak rare, we pull faces when people aren’t looking and he is dead set on finding me a boyfriend. “A lawyer is your best option” He says, “the only type of person who would survive an argument with you”
When this man is not inviting me to rooftop parties to meet our investors or clients or adorable baby slow lories, he spends his time micromanaging the living nerves out of me, and generally being unbearable and inefficient. That of course is on top of losing 100 points of IQ as the day progresses.
The more points lost, the more I question whether it’s fair for everyone working under him to endure this type of mental anguish and psychological torture. Soon after I started showing symptoms of irritation and disdain, my productivity sank into deep, cold, shark infested waters and my reactions metamorphosed into unmitigated stubbornness and out-and out challenges.
I became miserable. I became miserable because I let his inadequacies affect me at a level that should be impenetrable, and so, I made a list of the habits and actions that drive me bananas and how I can conquer them.
- He is always late: Confirm meeting times, reconfirm meeting times, reschedule after 15 minutes of no show.
- He doesn’t care what others schedule look like: Don’t grant “let’s meet in 20 minutes” meetings unless it is of utter importance, share calendar with him.
- He is untrusting and paranoid: be patient, realize it’s not a fault of mine.
- He is inefficient: Suggest more efficient ways to get things done, be very clear on instructions, double check, re-phrase and re-word his orders/requests to avoid alleged “misunderstandings”, document deadlines, ask for meetings agendas, give realistic and comfortable estimates to handle the work load.
- He does things last minute so they become an emergency and on ASAP basis: Follow up for feedback shortly after tasks are off my plate and on his, ask him to prioritize.
- He says things like “be professional”, “I want you on your best behavior”: Tell him that this is offensive and unprofessional; remind him that I don’t need reminders and that I will rip his eye balls off if he ever does it again.
- He doesn’t care what he hired you to do, someone has got to get things done: Point out strengths and weaknesses, suggest other employees to carry on tasks, make it clear he is missusing my time and energy.
- He is opportunistic: Say no.
I have a few other methods in the bag that I will revert to if the above-mentioned ones fail. Shout out to our very own Patrick who suggested I CC him on every “LOL” and due diligence email that goes out of my box.
If you, ladies and gentlemen, have other suggestions on how I can tackle the issues, please share with me. Have you been in such situation? What worked? What didn’t? How do you manage your boss?
Please note that practical jokes, hate mail, and beating him senseless in a dark alley are not acceptable options.
Thank You!
Communicating with him in a polite but slightly firm manner as an adult would is not an option I suppose?
PS If you've tried that and it has noticeably backfired, I'd advise you to start reaching out to headhunters.
Oh, I have communicated several times. Works for two hours then back to his old ways.
sounds like you're micromanaging the micromanager!
hahahaha. you might as well also tell him that you need 14 hours of sleep to be well rested, and that you're going to walk over not 'swing by' because you're not some sort of lower order simian swinging from branch to branch.
...i think the word you're looking for is jaded
First of all, I don't see how "needing 14 hours of sleep" equals "don't question my professional integrity" and how "swing by" equals "My ethics and conducts are intact"
Maybe you have troubles speaking up and that's how you handle things, and you choose to eat it and "get over it", but I definitely don't.
Haha, it's alright I understand your frustration, your effort is admirable. But to help out: I think the words you're looking for are 'very jaded' with a dash of 'bitter' and a pinch of 'you can't win over insanity'
I would start by not ending your bullets with periods. Thx.
sleep with him, you will have him by the balls for the rest of your tenure there......
In all seriousness though if it is as bad as you make it sound, maybe you start putting feelers out at other places, if he is a bad manager chances are nothing you do will make him change that. Part of the problem is obviously what he does has gotten him to his current level so he probably isn't going to respond well to anything that involves someone lower on the food chain telling him what to do. It is frustrating but it is out of your control, one of the things I always tell younger people trying to get into this business is sometimes it is not a matter of what you are doing but more so who you are doing it for. A good boss can educate you, mentor you and help you advance your career, a bad one can slowly destroy your soul and life, to the point where you become numb to it which is an awful point to reach. It sounds like you have tried all the sensible options to this point so all that is left is something extreme - start looking for a new job. It is tough to come to grips with that (especially if this is your first job) but sometimes it is the only alternative and it sounds like you are pretty close to that point.
Good luck
I think you are absolutely right. I agree that I can't change him or his behavior, and I have no desire at all to do so, but this is why I am doing everything I can to adapt to his ways. despite how much I am hating the situation right now, I am sure this is the type of environment that helps me learn how to manage shitty bosses once and for all.
Hah, I worked for that guy too. Good luck.
hahahaha
Fantastic. You are silver bananad.
Bankrella, how long did you survive and how did you handle it?
I realize this sounds incredibly naive, but I take it that saying something to HR is out of the question?
All I read was you need to date a lawyer. Law bro here.
i think this calls for the creation of a new drink...called The Bankerella...contents to be determined...
Start with highball glass at room temperature. Mezcal rinse. Twelve dashes of orange bitters. Three dashes of Peychaud's bitters. Teaspoon of simple. Drop in a big jagged chunk of clean clear ice. Fill with rye. Stir twice. Smirk. Serve.
Sounds good. My only question is why Peychaud's as opposed to Angostura? I'm truly intrigued by the drink. Any garnish with it?
Whatever you do, make sure to be diplomatic.
hire jamie foxx to take care of it.
If you talk to any HR, or go over his head, you have ended your career. Having a frank chat with him is a career ender if you push it too far (surprised he hasn't lost it on you when you approached him the first few times). If you're this junior, he will think it extremely presumptuous of you to try to correct him.
In his mind, he has enough things to worry about such that he doesn't have the leftover energy to try to filter his interactions with you, a subordinate. So you have to either smile and eat the shit sandwich, or move on. I think the answer is clear for you.
How tall is this person OP?
Fuck me the day I have a kid telling me I need to change my habits and its not my son/daughter or the one of an important client or a close friend.
Further push El_Mono's point, let someone he cares about notice you, and then magically he will start notice and hopefully listen to you.
Some people suck as bosses, that's life. The fact that it's a guy is irrelevant: I've had micromanaging women and men bosses. You grit your teeth, focus on the work, and continue to open up doors for yourself. Ideally you empower yourself to the point where you can choose jobs, and by extension bosses. Also realize that most people hate their boss or want less oversight, that's life. Realize also that hands off management can be very bad, especially when you're new to an industry. Honestly, just learn what you can and move on.
And find constructive ways of blowing off steam. I drank myself half to death because of one boss and found the gym to be a better outlet, that and sports. Don't take it personally, and realize that every day you spend there is a day built closer to a better opportunity.
Some people suck as bosses, that's life. The fact that it's a guy is irrelevant: I've had micromanaging women and men bosses. You grit your teeth, focus on the work, and continue to open up doors for yourself. Ideally you empower yourself to the point where you can choose jobs, and by extension bosses. Also realize that most people hate their boss or want less oversight, that's life. Realize also that hands off management can be very bad, especially when you're new to an industry. Honestly, just learn what you can and move on.
And find constructive ways of blowing off steam. I drank myself half to death because of one boss and found the gym to be a better outlet, that and sports. Don't take it personally, and realize that every day you spend there is a day built closer to a better opportunity.
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