The Best, and Worst… Drunken moments in finance.

With it being St. Paddy’s day, I felt that we should lay off our typical banter on all serious things Wall Street and focus on something much more relevant to this day of wonderful inebriation… its shenanigans!

While the stereotypical 80’s stockbroker with booze on his desk and lipstick on his collar from Brandi the call girl has all been erased from the street, a renaissance of this old school mentality has emerged; to epically hilarious results.

Most are amateurish, while some are noteworthy displays of balls and hubris akin to those of the traders of old. Here’s a few from recent years.

Fail: Stuck in the elevator

“Seven traders and brokers were forced to bed down in one after a boozy business dinner.

They had spent several hours eating sushi and drinking at Japanese restaurant Roka… But as they called it a night, disaster struck when the lift broke down between floors.

The men shouted for help and pressed the emergency button, but were forced to spend about three hours curled up together like dormice.

An investigation is under way into whether the lift malfunction was caused by members of the group jumping up and down.

Lavatory facilities were a problem, especially after a heavy Friday night out, so the group had to make do with the limited options available.”

Win: Moving markets

“But Steve Perkins was left with a bigger black hole in his memory than most when his employer rang one morning to ask what he'd done with $520m of the oil trading firm's money.

It was 7.45am on June 30 last year when the senior, longstanding broker for PVM Oil Futures was contacted by an admin clerk querying why he'd bought 7m barrels of crude in the middle of the night.

The 34-year old broker at first claimed he had spent the night trading alongside a client. But the story began to fall apart when he refused to put the customer in touch with his desk for official approval of the trades.

By 10am it emerged ,that Mr. Perkins had single-handedly moved the global price of oil to an eight-month high during a "drunken blackout". Prices leapt by more than $1.50 a barrel in under half an hour at around 2am – the kind of sharp swing caused by events of geo-political significance. Ten times the usual volume of futures contracts changed hands in just one hour.”

Fail?: Trader Tango

Earlier this month, 27-year-old Jessica Franqui, a clerk at the Staten Island branch of trading firm Tullet Prebon Americas Corp, filed suit against the company's CEO, Marcus Bolton, 45, alleging he sexually assaulted her while drunk at an office party. After her boss whipped her around in a drunken tango, causing her to fall to the floor, Franqui's suit claims, Bolton allegedly took his foot and stepped on her right breast with "force enough to cause significant pain and shortness of breath." "He has a size 14 foot," her lawyer told the Staten Island Advance.

"He steps down on her breast hard, and then he pumped his fists in the air as if to say, 'Look, I'm the man.'"

So there’s a few tales of drunken asshattery from the street.

But I’m sure you monkeys know more than a few office shenanigans so let’s hear ‘em, have you seen your MD dragged out of the office? Drunken office brawls? Baby carrots and strippers? or Four Loko fueled mayhem perhaps?

Hell, It doesn't even have to be related to Wall Street, let's just make this drunken story time.

Sb’s out to the most hilarious stories.

It’s St. Patrick’s day people, let’s have a little fun here.