How to Stop Bullying From Coworkers
For some context, I previously worked at the consulting firm Deloitte and lateraled into investment banking.
Over the past several months one particular analyst has been frequently using Deloitte in conversations where it doesn’t make sense.
For example, if I ask him to fix comments in a deck he replies “I’d be Deloitted” or in the morning when he sees me he says “deloittful morning” and starts guffawing. I think recently he has told other people in the office to do it as well because another analyst on an unrelated deal recently said “it was deloittful to work together” after a transaction closed.
Can I get HR involved? It feels like every day this problem is getting worse and I need to ensure analysts respect me. Any suggestions for how to address it without getting HR involved?
Edit: it was a Deloitte to shitpost you all lol
Please, tell HR. What are you going to say? My co-workers made a pun because of my former place and you feel bullied and unsafe? Literally, the associates we all hate to work for
You don't work for anyone, prospect, so I don't think you're included in the "all" categorization.
A1, don't know how to change my title. Point is, it's not that deep. Sounds like the analysts get their work done. And your advice of saying you're not friends with the analysts? OP, in 5 years, your analysts will remember you being that clown who got mad over a few simple puns, and not have fond memories of you. OP, grow up.
It's unprofessional for them to do this.
Pull him aside, tell him that you're not friends and that it's a work-place, not a frat house/social club, and tell him to stop.
People are only targets if they allow themselves to be, so shut them down early, otherwise if you let it go on they will just say that they were joking and thought you didn't mind because you didn't say anything.
^^This. There is always that dipshit who thinks they're hilarious. You want to be the one to draw the boundary, not have HR do it for you.
Teller's response is well phrased and a good start.
Perfect advice here
or just ignore it like they told us all to do in like 2nd grade lmao. If you stop giving people a reaction they'll get bored of it
OP, if I were you I would take this advice. Getting HR involved before at least trying to get it resolved yourself will definitely make the analysts resent you.
Find out something humiliating about this kid and expose him in front of everyone. The day he gets humiliated and embarrassed will be the last day he'll f*ck with you, especially if it dents into his reputation. In the meantime, don't react and just wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself.
Do what the bank teller said in the first reply. However, it’s not what you say, but HOW you say it. The nitwit talks smack because he doesn’t respect you. You can change that perception with one stern conversation. You will need to do half hours worth of work to uncover something about them you can throw back at them. I.e. they did a club sport rather than varsity in college or they were apart of a lame fraternity (Greek rank.com). Something along the lines of “this isn’t that dog shit chapter you called a frat at x”.
they’ll be more impressed you found a soft spot they didn’t expect you to know and respect you for putting things into proper perspective.
This is bush league of them. Stick up for yourself. Call him out in the open air. Letting yourself get pushed around only leads to getting pushed around more. Obviously don't end your own career by saying something ridiculous and mean to him, but make it clear that his jokes blow and that he should go after someone else. The people in this industry will run you over if you let them. Don't let them.
Jesus dude, could you be any softer? Also, playground 101: if you play into the joke, it loses its potency. Just end your next email with
Consult me with any questions. Have a deloitteful weekend.
Best,
Soft-Ass OP
This
You either play into it to diffuse it or talk shit back
Yes, HR would be deloitted to help you
Switch all your office stationary for Deloitte branded gear and begin wearing a Deloitte vest to work so this guy knows you mean business.
This is great, get him a deliotte tshirt, “hey man I noticed you really care Deliotte here you go”.
>one particular analyst has been frequently using Deloitte in conversations where it doesn't make sense.
>”I’d be Deloitted”
The joke is that deloitted sounds like delighted, you ESL mf
What's so bad about Deloitte Consulting? It's pretty top-tier shit in the consulting world and prob harder to get into (for a strategy consulting role) than the IB you work at (unless it's a BB / EB / top MM).
Yeah no
Actually, agree with this. I know that this is primarily a finance / banking forum but at my HYPSM, there's a solid amount of people who want to work at places like Deloitte Strategy. On the flip side, have seen basically no one, in the banking / finance crowd at my HYPSM, who wants to work at crap like Stifel, Mizuho, [insert whatever crappy LMM / MM bank].
if this post isn't a joke, your best course of action would be to just not react to what they're saying. Also these kids sound like nerds projecting
Bully back, if they’re under 6ft or shorter than you call them little man
That analyst is hilarious. Buy him a beer and generally try to stay on the good side of analysts (particularly the good ones). You'd be surprised how much more effort an analyst is willing to put in for people they like.
TLDR: Happy analyst = Deloitteful associate
Underrated take. Responding with kindness will lead to the best outcome for yourself in the majority of cases
[deloitted]
Dude have u never been in a group environment of males? Just make fun of them back. Don’t be the socially awkward guy, just try to shoot the shit with people. Makes our miserable day better
What’s offensive about these puns?
I don’t see any insult? It’s just a funny wordplay based off your background.
Unless you’re ashamed to be associated with Deloitte (the best global accounting firm in the world)?
Yeah sounds like OP has insecurities and is letting WSO shitposting shape their views. I’m sure if the pun was about them being at GS they’d have no issues. It’s a shame that prestige chasing and shitposting have led many of us to feel bad about our current/past positions, e.g. previously working at arguably the best firm out of the Big 4.
The reality is nobody here should be even remotely ashamed if they work at an established banking/consulting/accounting/etc. firm. I remember feeling shit about my offer since it was in a “tier 2 city” at a “mid-tier BB”. But then I remind myself that WSO is pretty elitist with jobs and that 98% of finance majors would’ve been stoked to land my role. Shame that OP is falling into this trap.
Side note, also don’t know why juniors need to be so serious with one another. When not in a fire drill scenario, half my emails to other analysts and associates would be labeled as “unprofessional”. But I mean come on, we’re in our mid 20s and have almost no life. A little joke here and there is borderline necessary to escape the mundanity. I personally think the lightheartedness is a (as sad as this sounds) necessary coping mechanism for us to survive these shitty times.
Take a shit in they lunch
As others mentioned, if this post is real. Very strange this is getting to you that much and yes while its very unprofessional. Before you even care about this comedian wannabe you should talk to a close friend or mentor about this. Need someone to boost your confidence that you belong.
Truly, first time this kid did this should have said something “ohhh “deliotte-ed, i get it nice man, really hope you put more effort in your tinder openers”. “Deliotteful morning, funny I wish, nah more like been chained to my desk last two evenings, VP riding me hard.” Aka just play off the whole situation.
This is hilarious
Straight up bruh. A woman trying me, she gonna be put in her place fr. Gonna go Jefferies on dat bihhh.
“Gonna go Jefferies” on someone is open to interpretation
I don’t know that this is bullpen talk. Maybe. But it sounds a shade darker than that, kind of trying to cut the guy down and make him feel less than because he came from a background that’s low key viewed as soft.
It works when someone’s already established. Like some history major is a top bucket analyst so you rib him for being a history major.
But constantly reminding a new associate that he came from deloitte, yeah I dunno.
Important to get to the true intent, because the response is completely different.
You do not seem particularly deloitteful to work with. Man up
[Comment deloited by Mod Team]
Huge respect OP
1) Please grow a thicker skin: it seems to me like friendly ribbing and you're taking it too personally
Give it back as good as you get it - next time they give you some friendly banter, return fire in equal magnitude (this will rely on a little known skill called "wit")
Deloitte is a respected company, and if they're implying it's an insult to have worked there, it speaks more to their pretension than anything else
The best revenge is massive success: let the chat roll off you, buckle down, and work hard - soon they'll all be less senior to the person they slightly hazed for having worked at a consultancy
2) If you can't handle the ribbing, politely but firmly ask them to stop
Don't say it hurts your feelings, don't say it's getting you down - just tell them the joke's worn thin, and you'd expect a colleague from such an esteemed background to come up with fresher material more often
3) Don't message HR - this is over-escalating what's going on, be an adult and take matters into your own hands by dealing with your interpersonal issues in a professional and, above all, sensible manner
People need to learn how to handle their own business. Tell the guy to back off if it's annoying you, or talk trash back to him. You're a grown adult, don't go crying to mommy in HR.
I dream of the day when HR department staff end up being DMV clerks and any of the useful HR functions get replaced with ChatGPT.
I read your first 3 paragraphs thinking “WTF how could so many people in the office just get on board with a terrible joke and being a dick to someone.”
Then you mention going to HR and it became instantly obvious there’s something wrong with you.
Sure bud, take it to HR. Please tell us how it goes.
I’d just troll back say you’ve noticed they have difficulty pronouncing certain words and say you’re happy to ask your friend with a lisp for a referral to their speech therapist.
Why can't you just slam him with work and give him negative reviews?
I thought Dominic Raab resigned already?
Don't make drama out of this, either tell them to stop or laugh back at it. If you go to HR, it will just prove everyone's point to not hire Deloitte kids.
You really want to complain and be a "Bain" in their ass?
It sounds like you might make it obvious that this bothers you. Its like when youre a kid if you dont react the joke wont repeat, but if they can get a rise out of you theyll never stop. Just ignore this guy
Play into it. Get the dude a Deloitte hat and have them wear it.
Lol I like that idea. Or walk in with a Deloitte hat, Deloitte vest and Deloitte backpack with black shades on one day. Act like you don't notice your Analyst looking at you then slowly cock your head to him, pull your shades down and say "Let's Deloitte"
These seem like harmless comments TBH and analysts seem to be playing fun. If it's really bothering you, just tell them you'd appreciate it to stop. If your too scared, just bring it up to their manager.
Quit; you don’t belong here
Guessing the analyst is caucasian? The whitest jokes I have ever heard... not even funny
Given how specificly this bullying situation was laid out, did you not just effectively dox yourself?
Must stand up for yourself and put these Toilette Douches in their places.
Sounds like a micro aggression. Jk
Its just a de-loitte hearted joke friend.
HR will make them write Deloitte out on a whiteboard everyday and you could wipe it off as a good morning! That’ll show em!
Catboy is this you?
Catboy??
Tell that Punk to knock that Shit off! That usually does the trick. Then enroll in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes. I’ve been training for years and fighting for years. That reputation as the nice guy who can kick some ass and is a Military Vet usually lets people know. Don’t mess with that dude.
Good Luck! 👍
If only Deloitte was a race
Sounds like they were not delloited to have you
I don't want to be rude but are you sure this is "bullying"... it sounds to me like perhaps you may not know how to take a joke or feel like you have a chip on yourself because Deloitte. Never forget there is a great reason why they hired you. However if it truly bothers you... just say "Kid how many times are you going to beat the dead horse. Get some new jokes funny man," or like "wow so innovative of you kiddo"... I guarantee that will make them feel stupid or come up with a better punnn and have fun :)
HR will not care unless someone physically threaten you and even then they might want to see proof haha so useless
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