Hi all,
I am a Junior at a private, but not ivy b-school. It is ranked in the top 40, but I don't know how much that really matters. I am hoping to get some feedback on what I can do to make my resumé better as well as get some feedback based on it as to whether or not I may be competitive in earning an interview at GS for a summer analyst position. To my knowledge, they don't actively recruit at my school.
http://www.razume.com/documents/16374
Thank you for any information/criticisms you send my way.
Hi nb84,
Thank you! I think you should get in just because of the V on your Navy Achievement Medal, that is pretty badass.
You will get this job for 2 reasons.
u got a badass stuff under "honors".
if you can have an outstanding score from B-school, especially in finance courses, you've a solid case
First one shows your leadership skills like no other. I dont know how many under 25 year old men have direct responsibility of 100s of human lives of fellow employees/marines.
Second one shows that you have the intellectual firepower to withstand the banking assault that you will go through.
However, I've no doubt that you'll take it like a champ. I wish you success. Thank you for your service !
Thank you both for the appreciative remarks. Corleone, you bring up another question that I forgot to post. I am almost 26 years old. Will that be a positive, negative, or have no impact on the way I am perceived by employers? I know I am a little older than the typical summer intern and in my opinion that would be a plus due to maturity, but I don't know how banks will view it.
the only thing that will hold you back is your school, if it's not recruited and isn't a "top" school. definitely need to start networking (there are a bunch of marines/military in banking. If you don't have a database to search, try asking HR, they may be able to link you up. And be persistent, if one HR lady says no, just ask another).
just curious, did you join out of high school?
That is exactly what I have been working on for a while now. I have a couple of friends/acquaintances who work there now as analysts but have been zero help as far as networking. I also have a friend of a friend who was a partner for GS and is now the COO of a company owned by GS, but he gets so many calls for jobs that he hasn't, and probably won't, returned mine (at least that is how our mutual friend explained it).
My biggest concern is just getting the first interview. I have the leadership ability, I carry and present myself well, and I learn things very quickly. Any ideas on how to get in touch with the HR dept? I have googled it and searched their site, but have had no luck.
Thank you for your service.
Regards
you're in a position where you can always keep calling/be a pest because nobody is going to diss you or write you off. just keep at it man.
if i were in the industry i'd help you out, but unfortunately for us both i'm lookin for a job too.
Is anyone going to give me some feedback? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of the gracious postings, but I really need some constructive criticism. Fire away!
Alright, I don't normally give resume critiques, but given your background I'll oblige. I agree with the top level stuff that other posters have noted, but since you want a more granular view, here goes. These are comments pertinent to my perspective, so take from it what you will.
age doesnt matter.
ONLY 2 things matter in your case : super strong gpa (which says u r capable of learning) and highlight ur honors in army (leadership)
if ur 26, its not as if u were jerking around. went to war ; came back ; went again ; now back and desires to work in banking.
keep it simple : GPA & leadership.
Ugh, I've had 3 internships (two summers) and now one in the fall with bulge brackets and I'm an athlete. And this kid's CV is competitive because he decided to join the army and works at car shops? sigh....
('12 graduate as well...)
you dont have the balls to join the military and neither do I.
thanks for the service nb84
Just take a look at the awards he's earned in the army. Veterans will always have the upper hand searching for jobs. Get a Purple Heart and then start whining...
not always true especially with this war
GW, I think you may need to understand a couple of things before you comment on my resumé. First, I served in the Marine Corps infantry, not the Army, and there is a very large difference. Also, seeing as you are a 2012 graduate I will assume you are roughly 20 years old. When I was 20 years old I was in charge of 25 other Marines' lives in a combat zone, and I was very successful at keeping them safe and carrying out my mission. That is something that employers will probably look highly upon. Unfortunately, being an athlete doesn't provide that same leadership experience.
Second, seeing as I served in our nation's military and protected your way of life, you will show myself and other veterans as much respect as possible. If you were to make the comments you made towards my service in front of any recruiter or HR representative, it is my guess that you would be looked upon in a pretty negative fashion. Don't ever disrespect the fact that someone else has served in the military, and don't discount the fact that you didn't serve because you didn't like "the odds". It takes a certain type of person to serve in the military and a very specific type to serve in the Marine Corps infantry.
I have to say, I usually don't play the "show us some respect" card, but I don't think I have ever had a person show a blatant disrespect for our service like you have. Do not compare the fact that you are an athlete to the fact that I served in the Marine Corps and shed blood for our country. Fortunately for me, the people who award internships and analyst positions are intelligent and know what these character traits and skill sets amount to in the investment banking industry.
We all respect and appreciate your service, but there's no reason to brag about your leadership at the expense of others. What if he was Varsity captain of his team, would he not have gained valuable leadership skills because no armed combat was involved?.
Really, you're going to demand his respect?
I think everyone needs to relax.
It's got nothing to do with the size of my balls; I just don't like the odds.
Personally, as I said above, I don't like the odds of fighting in the middle east. That's my opinion, and it has nothing to do with what respect I have for you or anyone else.
Furthermore, you were soliciting critiques, so relax.
And actually, I have had combat experience. You can call me general from now on. :)
After thinking about it more, I will admit that you are right. What you said doesn't necessarily disrespect my service or the service of others. I suppose the way it came across to me was that you were comparing what I did to you being a collegiate athlete, which in the opinion of most anyone who has been in combat, is not equivalent. I am probably too quick to get on the defensive about that, but unfortunately it is my nature. I am sure whatever leadership experience you have had in collegiate sports will lend a hand in the business world as well. My only point is this- if someone is able to take charge of 25 other Marines at the age of 20 while being shot at and blown up, he will probably be more likely to be successful at working in a team environment in the business world under any work conditions. From what I have heard from recruiters, this is also how they see it.
I apologize for coming off a little harshly after your comment. I wish you the best in your job search and hopefully we will eventually both be fortunate enough to work in this industry.
It's nice that you served in the Marines, but honestly, I would not interview you with this resume. Keeping 25 Marines alive is not the same as succeeding in banking, and regardless of how impressive it is, when you leave it as only one-sixth of your CV, I think of you as a car salesman, not as a Marine.
The main thing you need to do is rearrange your CV to emphasize the military experience. There is too much stuff under extracurriculars - extracurriculars are space-filling fluff, and when they are a third of your CV, it is a major turn-off.
That said, there are multiple errors in your CV that would be enough to turn me off, if I found the rest compelling.
From the top: -Don't list your minor with your degree; they're not the same thing. Use a separate line for the minor, and give your overall GPA -Change your expected date to Expected Spring 2012. Using '12 when the rest of your dates are in YYYY format is inconsistent. Also, I assume your school has a month when graduation is; use that if possible. If you do keep "graduation," bear in mind it is not a proper noun and should not be capitalized -"Pursued studies in..." is not a major or degree, and as such should not be italicised in the same format as your college degree -I'd rearrange it so that you have "Military experience" as a section under education. This will highlight your experience, and allow you to arrange your honours differently; the formatting of them looks weird as is. Also, I don't agree with your description of meritorious promotions; firstly, not sure they are an honour, per se, and secondly, the way you phrase it implies you were promoted ahead of EVERY other peer in the USMC at EVERY rank you achieved; I scarcely believe that to be the case -Give more detailed bullets saying specifically how you increased profits at Land Rover, how you increased sales volume, what you did, etc; some good suggestions were given above -You have a full stop after "policies" -The "New car sales associate" role has an almost identical first bullet to the Land Rover role; modify it so you tell me something different about yourself. The bullets in this role again need fleshing out -You have a full stop after "period" and "scores" -Your bullets in this role are inconsistently formatted with the rest of your bullets -Military experience, you can combine some of the bullets, and should flesh out some more with examples of specific actions and successes -You have a full stop after "patrols" -For extracurriculars, the main thing you need to do is cut it down; I'd choose one activity to lose. Maybe combine the motivational speaker things. I'd also go to one bullet per activity, maybe keeping two for the most compelling -For the tutor role, you should let me know how the students did; I don't care if you taught someone if they didn't learn shit -The motivational speaker roles, again, give more details and less fluff -The "Business Leadership Institute" thing seems useless; are you saying you took courses, or taught classes, or that they have classes? Regardless, it is fluff and I'd kill it -The cycling thing seems interesting, but I'd flesh it out; maybe include times, finishes, an interesting race you took part in; there are a fair number of cyclists in banking who might find that compelling
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