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what's wrong with my resume?
 

llabwnos1991's picture
IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 6:57pm

Dear demigods of the future,,

Have been following your posts for awhile, huge fan, lots of interesting things said here and there, I learned a lot... so thank you!!

Anyway, two things today:

1. Can I get a resume-critique real quick? I'm a sophomore at non target,,pretty nervous about not getting any offers for the summer...You guys can help a great deal, please be blunt!!! As you see I'm using the Merger&Acquisition template here,,,seems like a lot of people are doing the same thing, should I make something new? Well, any idea you throw at me, I'll appreciate it...

2. I'm having an informal phone chat with someone from GS (Research) tomorrow. Cold emailed her, she agreed to talk a bit about the sophomore spring program with me. I'm a bit nervous about what to say & ask, starting a conversation, etc... also got a final exam tomorrow.....freaking out!!!

Anyhow comrades out there give me some responses please!!

http://www.razume.com/documents/17909

Tags:
Mfsl27's picture

You have a lot of similar

ST
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 7:14pm

You have a lot of similar credentials as myself, but I'm 2 years older and not Chinese. You have better relevant experience than I do, but I can talk the talk, whereas you are freaking out because you have a final exam. Take a chill pill, relax, and treat the conversation (all networking convos for that matter) like they are with your friends. Be yourself, or if you aren't actually a cool guy, pretend to be somebody that is. You see so many target kids come in here and bitch that they killed technicals and didn't get the job, but us easy-going, hard working non target kids are the ones taking their jobs. Research GS and ask intelligent questions but don't come off like a tool, and you should be good.

llabwnos1991's picture

@ Mfsl27 - Thank you for

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 7:29pm

@ Mfsl27 -

Thank you for commending!! Haven't studied at all for that exam. All-nighter I guess, in part due to excitement though. Are you a senior? and what advices do you have for a sophomore going from here and trying to break into the industry? I see that you're a philosophy double major too,, some people have told me to take that line off, what do you think? Is it a disadvantage to be a phil major when you're trying to break into banking?

Mfsl27's picture

Not at all, it doesn't matter

ST
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 7:33pm

Not at all, it doesn't matter what your second major is, it'll show you have other interests. Every interview i have gone on they've asked me about it and when I explained my reasoning they all were pretty interested. They're looking for people they want to work with, so as long as you come off as enjoyable and hard working you'll be fine. Getting the interview should be the hardest part for all non targets.

llabwnos1991's picture

how's your recriuting

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 7:42pm

how's your recriuting experience been this year? would you say things are picking up?.... winter break is all about cold calls and emails...fml

happypantsmcgee's picture

The way you have your

O
(Almost Human, 9,621
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:01pm

The way you have your coursework listed is kind of odd...and change the favorite books line at the end to something else or take it out and reorganize the last section

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

llabwnos1991's picture

happypantsmcgee wrote: The

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:06pm
happypantsmcgee:

The way you have your coursework listed is kind of odd...and change the favorite books line at the end to something else or take it out and reorganize the last section

You mean I should not use slashes? and yeah couple people have told me to get rid of the book thing..I guess it's not a good idea then

happypantsmcgee's picture

Yea the slash thing isn't

O
(Almost Human, 9,621
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:08pm

Yea the slash thing isn't necessarily bad but I don't think thats the way most people list their coursework honors, etc. I almost made a similar comment about the subpoint arrow bullet looking shits but figured it wasn't that big of a deal. I would change the last section to format more like

Interests: XXX
Activities: XXX

Rather than the way you have it now. Just makes it a bit easier to scan

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

FreeWeezy's picture

This sounds stupid but all I

(Baboon, 158
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:14pm

This sounds stupid but all I look at are the arrows. Maybe make them dashes or make the arrows smaller but they draw my eyes right off the bat.

On top of that, I think you definitely could condense a little bit. I would look to maybe combine some things or shorten your least relevant internship and add something like a "Leadership and Activities" section. When I look at this resume I think that you're all about "school, work, and nothing else."

Also adding another section makes it look less like you're stretching it to cover the page instead of being all spaced out.

You're in a much better spot than most with relevant experience after only your freshman year. Just add some other pieces like what you do outside of school and work. That way when you get a "walk me through your resume" question, you have more to talk about than the couple projects you worked on. Interviews become easier to do and more relaxed when you're talking about who you really are, what you enjoy doing, and why you enjoy doing it- at least for me.

llabwnos1991's picture

happypantsmcgee wrote: Yea

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:37pm
happypantsmcgee:

Yea the slash thing isn't necessarily bad but I don't think thats the way most people list their coursework honors, etc. I almost made a similar comment about the subpoint arrow bullet looking shits but figured it wasn't that big of a deal. I would change the last section to format more like

Interests: XXX
Activities: XXX

Rather than the way you have it now. Just makes it a bit easier to scan

yeah the reason I added the fav. book line is because one of my friends at GS S&T told me it's good to twist the resume a bit... I guess I'll try to figure out other ways to do that then..... does interests XXX activities XXX seem too standard though? I mean back to the point, A LOT of people are using that M&A template now

llabwnos1991's picture

FreeWeezy wrote: This sounds

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:41pm
FreeWeezy:

This sounds stupid but all I look at are the arrows. Maybe make them dashes or make the arrows smaller but they draw my eyes right off the bat.

On top of that, I think you definitely could condense a little bit. I would look to maybe combine some things or shorten your least relevant internship and add something like a "Leadership and Activities" section. When I look at this resume I think that you're all about "school, work, and nothing else."

Also adding another section makes it look less like you're stretching it to cover the page instead of being all spaced out.

You're in a much better spot than most with relevant experience after only your freshman year. Just add some other pieces like what you do outside of school and work. That way when you get a "walk me through your resume" question, you have more to talk about than the couple projects you worked on. Interviews become easier to do and more relaxed when you're talking about who you really are, what you enjoy doing, and why you enjoy doing it- at least for me.

Gotta admit I haven't been that involved on campus. USG and stuff are really not my thing. I did work with a community organizor,, we were running tenants' assosiation meeting at distressed buildings. Took that out earlier because I stopped doing it this semester and chose the PE internship instead. Should I still list that there now I've stopped?...What a shame...

happypantsmcgee's picture

llabwnos1991

O
(Almost Human, 9,621
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:42pm
llabwnos1991:
happypantsmcgee:

Yea the slash thing isn't necessarily bad but I don't think thats the way most people list their coursework honors, etc. I almost made a similar comment about the subpoint arrow bullet looking shits but figured it wasn't that big of a deal. I would change the last section to format more like

Interests: XXX
Activities: XXX

Rather than the way you have it now. Just makes it a bit easier to scan

yeah the reason I added the fav. book line is because one of my friends at GS S&T told me it's good to twist the resume a bit... I guess I'll try to figure out other ways to do that then..... does interests XXX activities XXX seem too standard though? I mean back to the point, A LOT of people are using that M&A template now

There is a reason the term 'industry standard' has worked its way into the vernacular. There was a kid on here recently that had his last line as something like "Shot a hole in one on June 20th 2010". Something like that. is a good way to set yourself apart as it a) shows that you have an interest in golf and b) is a good little nugget with which you can start a conversation. Favorite books is bland. I would be surprised if any of your interviewers want to debate the structure of The Black Swan with you...

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

TJB100's picture

Looks good overall. Needs

(Monkey, 42
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:44pm

Looks good overall. Needs some tweaking. The classes, interests, etc where you use slashes, format differently, use commas. I like the books at the bottom, but would also like to see you list some activities. You have summer 2010 covered, but what about summers before that? How did you do in high school? Any great achievements or distinctions during that time?

Also, I think the way you are describing your one month internships, you might be reaching a bit. No need to stretch. Freshman summer work is a lot of grunt work, nothing wrong with that - everyone likes a good work ethic and good attitude. As much as you may have been integrated in the team, you weren't the rainmaker in 4 weeks. Be humble. Speak up for yourself, but be wise.

How did you get those internships? paid? unpaid?

llabwnos1991's picture

TJB100 wrote: Looks good

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 8:54pm
TJB100:

Looks good overall. Needs some tweaking. The classes, interests, etc where you use slashes, format differently, use commas. I like the books at the bottom, but would also like to see you list some activities. You have summer 2010 covered, but what about summers before that? How did you do in high school? Any great achievements or distinctions during that time?

Also, I think the way you are describing your one month internships, you might be reaching a bit. No need to stretch. Freshman summer work is a lot of grunt work, nothing wrong with that - everyone likes a good work ethic and good attitude. As much as you may have been integrated in the team, you weren't the rainmaker in 4 weeks. Be humble. Speak up for yourself, but be wise.

How did you get those internships? paid? unpaid?

Yeah for that hedge fund internship I guess I stretched a bit. It was the actual project - short term and I got to choose what I wanted to cover so I picked a stock I've owned for 1 year or so and wrote analysis on that as my report. I got the internships through a few contacts who have been very willing to help. Unpaid of course.

I should probably restructure the whole thing a bit and shift my emphasis a bit off work

llabwnos1991's picture

by the way, do you guys think

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 9:12pm

by the way, do you guys think study abroad junior year (2 semesters) is a good idea given someone wants to break into banking? Cause being in another country could make networking applications and things more complicated.

happypantsmcgee's picture

llabwnos1991 wrote: by the

O
(Almost Human, 9,621
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 10:03pm
llabwnos1991:

by the way, do you guys think study abroad junior year (2 semesters) is a good idea given someone wants to break into banking? Cause being in another country could make networking applications and things more complicated.

Why don't you just study abroad for one semester...

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

llabwnos1991's picture

happypantsmcgee

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 10:08pm
TJB100's picture

London and LSE could be good

(Monkey, 42
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 10:34pm
jamison's picture

The Black Swan

 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 10:55pm
llabwnos1991's picture

TJB100 wrote: London and LSE

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/15/10 at 10:57pm
commoditycalendar's picture

HappyPants: I disagree, the

(Baboon, 102
 
Points)
 on 12/16/10 at 12:19am
happypantsmcgee's picture

zeeshan_13 wrote: HappyPants:

O
(Almost Human, 9,621
 
Points)
 on 12/16/10 at 1:03am

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

llabwnos1991's picture

happypantsmcgee

IA
 
Points)
 on 12/16/10 at 1:23am
commoditycalendar's picture

Hahaha I feel you man.

(Baboon, 102
 
Points)
 on 12/16/10 at 1:19pm

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