Who are your real friends?
After working in the city this summer, my strongest impression has been that the people in New York are ridiculously superficial. Let me preface this by saying that I come from a small town, so maybe there's a latent tolerance period for NYC-style bullshit that has yet to elapse for me. The guys I hung out with in high school weren't the brightest kids by any measure, sucked ass in high school, and now have no discernible future. We fucked around at school and got into a lot of dumb shit, but in general, we had a great time.
Now, all my friends are college kids working on Wall Street. It's an awesome feeling to be able to go out and get shitfaced with like-minded people, but I get the feeling that it's all superficial. If I ever got into serious trouble or ended up in the hospital, I doubt any of these guys would have my back. On the other hand, I can count on my broke-ass/deadbeat friends, some who are still living with their parents, to check up every week (it's happened before).
Not to delve too deeply into feelings and other emasculating subjects, but to all the seasoned New Yorkers out there--what is your take on my dilemma? I don't want to be that 40-year-old guy who wakes up one day and realizes that all his friends are full of shit. I'm not into buying bottles at the club and would much rather pregame before going out. Another note--all the girls I've met in the city are fucking superficial. Over the years, I've stopped coming home entirely, and I've stopped talking to the people who actually gave a shit. In hindsight, I'd much rather talk to the cute girl from bio class than the hottie wearing red-bottomed heels. As my internship draws to a close and my deal involvement winds down (with return offer in tow nonetheless), I finally have the time to reflect on my experience this summer and put it into words. Maybe I'm still stuck in a small-town mindset, but right now, thinking about the prospect of only having douchebag friends, while working in NYC for the foreseeable future, just sucks.
Feel free to add any comments or thoughts.






"If you need a friend, get a
"If you need a friend, get a dog"
Take refuge in the fact that
Take refuge in the fact that every 10 years or so, you will develop a whole new set of interests, tastes and friends.
I get how you feel, but unfortunately one of the bitter pills of adulthood is spending most of your time with people who are on your level as far as career and ambition. Old friends and old flames eventually fade. My suggestion is to try and get out to the outer boroughs to hang. Brooklyn people (for example) are generally a lot less douchebaggerous then their Manhattanite counterparts (mostly transplants trying to be "Noo Yawk").
Good luck and try to focus on the now. Plenty of time for nostalgia down the road.
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Flaps, Feo, Tank, Love
Flaps, Feo, Tank, Love Chucks, Fino, Rolly, Natsy Chuga, Mad Max, T Rex, Peanut Brain, Gallo
been my friends since 5 years old and still my best buds... few went to college..i was only one to grad
they have my back
WSO Conf - June 29, 2013
Tired of you hillbillies on
Tired of you hillbillies on here constantly complaining about NYC
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Monty-- Other than Mad Max,
Monty-- Other than Mad Max, I'm too young to get any of your references.
Guess I'm a hillbilly at heart.
Lets face it, true friends,
Lets face it, true friends, ride or die friends, are not formed in a year. I mean all of my best friends are people I have known for 10+ years. Plus, add to the fact that you are working in a ego driven field. Not too many young bankers are going to be sending out get well cards and stuff.
Give it time and some of these cheap friends might grow into stronger friendships. Some may not. It is tough being in a new city though.
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Welcome to the tristate area
Welcome to the tristate area bro, fake friends are the story of my life. I suggest you adapt quickly or they will take advantage of you.
monty09 wrote: Flaps, Feo,
Flaps, Feo, Tank, Love Chucks, Fino, Rolly, Natsy Chuga, Mad Max, T Rex, Peanut Brain, Gallo
been my friends since 5 years old and still my best buds... few went to college..i was only one to grad
they have my back
was my tee ball team who was also my high school and two played with me or against me in college
Flaps - huge ears
Feo - spanish for UGLY
, Tank, - built like a tank
Love Chucks, - got nervous on date and blew crunks
Fino, - short for his name
Rolly, - was always dirty so "rolling" in dirt
Natsy Chuga, - fked everything
Mad Max, - always pissed
T Rex, - was hit in the neck with a baseball... sounded like a t rex trying to catch his breathe
Peanut Brain - not very smart but hell of an center fielder
, Gallo - spanish for cock or dick... dude was a asshole
WSO Conf - June 29, 2013
Look buddy, city folk are a
Look buddy, city folk are a lot different from country, or even suburban, folk. It's okay though because you must always look at the situation in a positive light. You only get out of something what your willing to put into it.
I completely agree that there thousands of superficial people in New York, more then other cities because obviously New York is bigger then other cities and also attracts a number of foreigners both poor & rich. You sound like a good person at heart and are completely capable of making good friendships. Why did you come to New York in the first place? To follow your ambitions I hope. I know I did when I knew I wanted to work in finance I knew where I needed to be. I have a little experience with cities though coming from another relatively large one.
The trick is to realize that there are 8 million people in the city and it's impossible for them all to be douche bags. There are plenty of genuine good people in new york in every single field, you just need to find them. Finance may be harder then others because like someone mentioned before it is very competitive. Don't let that get you down, if you don't like bottle service night clubs hit up some local night spots in the village. If your sick of your stuffed shirted ivy banker friends join a couple sports intramural teams and network. Go golfing for crying out loud haha. (By the way those guys who order the crazy shit at nightclubs do it to impress the superficial girls so let them have them I say. Those girls get around.) Diversify what your doing with your time. This is how both friends and business partners are created. The ones with their heads up their asses are the ones who inevitably fail because they have no personal value. People do realize this, you are not the only one.
So hang in there and do what you came to the city to do. Be a successful professional. Don't forget your old friends but don't be afraid to meet new ones, it will happen everyday if you want it to. As someone mentioned earlier strong friendships do really take years to form. If you show someone you care, hopefully they will show the same love back.
Good Luck
I understand how you feel.
I understand how you feel. When I interned in the city last summer, I had no friends and hung out with the intern crowd a lot. I went out a lot and met a bunch of superficial people. As mentioned before, some were there to either get an offer, screw other interns out of offers, or schmooze the analyst/associate crowd for brownie points (which may include backstabbing other interns). It was part of the game and you learn how to deal with it. However, a year from then, I still talk to many of the same people who once I thought were mega douchebags. They slowly developed into "real" friends as we kept in touch especially during fall recruitment, catching up for drinks/lunch (not the bottles kind, just genuine interest in each others' future plans). I have a good feeling that some will become even closer buds in the years to come.
Everyone in finance is going
Everyone in finance is going to come off as a douchebag during the early stages you get to know him. People in finance are generally too driven to be the best that initially, they won't want to look weak by "giving into" real friendship. Some of my best friends in school right now are the people I thought I was going to hate the most. You gotta weed through the douchebags to find people who are going to be there for you when you need them.
Great tags for this post -
Great tags for this post - "hug it out bitch" "group manhug" "lets talk about feelings"
trackstar2k2 wrote: Welcome
Welcome to the tristate area bro, fake friends are the story of my life. I suggest you adapt quickly or they will take advantage of you.
This.
Quite honest with you, NYC (Manhattan specifically)is a beast in itself. I am from the midwest, but went to ugrad in a big City on the east coast. People just appear more career oriented, image conscious, and their actions appear to be very calculated here; Which may appear asshole'y to your typical citizen. However, the city is fun as hell and you just gotta look past it. Lets be honest, all you really need is one or two 'real' friends in the city and the rest shouldn't bother you.
And for the people above, its certainly not only the finance guys. Sometimes the artist and fashionista's are the worst 'holier than though' punks. And yea, good luck on finding a down to earth female. My girlfriends best friend made a statement once, sober as hell mind you, that "I would have a tough time dating a guy who couldn't afford taking me to the Hamptons at least everything weekend"
"Sounds to me like you guys a couple of bookies."
Gross generalization... Maybe
Gross generalization... Maybe you just arent hanging out with the right people...
BillyRay05
Welcome to the tristate area bro, fake friends are the story of my life. I suggest you adapt quickly or they will take advantage of you.
This.
Quite honest with you, NYC (Manhattan specifically)is a beast in itself. I am from the midwest, but went to ugrad in a big City on the east coast. People just appear more career oriented, image conscious, and their actions appear to be very calculated here; Which may appear asshole'y to your typical citizen. However, the city is fun as hell and you just gotta look past it. Lets be honest, all you really need is one or two 'real' friends in the city and the rest shouldn't bother you.
And for the people above, its certainly not only the finance guys. Sometimes the artist and fashionista's are the worst 'holier than though' punks. And yea, good luck on finding a down to earth female. My girlfriends best friend made a statement once, sober as hell mind you, that "I would have a tough time dating a guy who couldn't afford taking me to the Hamptons at least everything weekend"
Ouch on the girlfriend's best friend quote. But let's not start a discussion about those type of women.
I think you are thinking too
Usually you can bond with a
dude, I can tell you stories
Dude, why are you worried
I don't think I would say
u r getting older, my friend.
One of the great things about
There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.
watch the reality TV..