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Greetings Monkeys,

With the recent forage of Hurricane Irene up the eastern seaboard, 2011 is shaping up as the mostly costly year ever in terms of natural disasters. This is why today I am going to skip on the ranting, raving, finger pointing and tail wagging. Money, markets, economics, bitching and moaning can rest. Today's a day to focus on the things that really matter.

I want to wish all of you guys on the east coast (especially NYC) well. Get yourself secured and stay calm. With all the crazy shit going on lately in the world and especially the world of finance, it is pretty easy to lose sight of the essentials. Dollars, prestige and success all come and go. In the end, having our health and security is the most important thing. Sometimes it takes unpredictable calamities to remind us of that fact. Wherever you are today, try to give a good thought and keep it positive. I'm making this an open topic dedicated to the monkeys in Manhattan's ivory towers forced to watch the the tidal waves below. Whatever you guys feel like ranting about, this is the place for it.

Be safe,

Midas

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Comments (65)

  • Barboone's picture

    Day 1.
    Im stocked up on provisions and supplies. Luckily im not in a Evac zone. I have 3 days worth of non perishables in case the power goes out. I have an escape route just in case $h!t really hits the fan. I talked to a couple of neighbors and they think I'm crazy.

    The girl down the hall actually introduced herself this morning by knocking at my door. I dont know if this bitch found out I work in finance or she is simply a nice person; but then again I have been here a while so she must just want my precious bananas (I'm gonna bang her or at least try to).

    Some people are having "hurricane parties" wtf is their problem? They are not prepared at all.
    note to self:go to the hardware store and buy a machete just in case someone tries to take my booty.

    "The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
    -Frank Underwood

  • In reply to Barboone
    JYFresh's picture

    barboon:

    The girl down the hall actually introduced herself this morning by knocking at my door. I dont know if this bitch found out I work in finance or she is simply a nice person; but then again I have been here a while so she must just want my precious bananas (I'm gonna bang her or at least try to).

    Hurricane sex. Go for it.

  • Edmundo Braverman's picture

    @barboon Take it from someone for whom hurricanes were an annual occurrence: hurricane parties are essential.

    Good luck with the 'cane, and better luck banging your neighbor. Rock on.

  • In The Flesh's picture

    This has been literally the only thing on TV for the past week--i'm so tired of all the shrieking and hysteria. To hear the media put it, you needed to have your last will and testament completed and invest in a life raft so you can paddle into work on Monday. This isn't reporting; it's soap opera theatrics disguised as news, and it isn't helping in the least creating all this panic. I couldn't even get into the city for a friend's birthday last night because New York is a total mobscene already with everyone trying to get out.

    Just hang out inside for a day or two, listen to music, watch movies, and don't plan any bike trips.

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to Edmundo Braverman
    Barboone's picture

    Edmundo Braverman:
    @barboon Take it from someone for whom hurricanes were an annual occurrence: hurricane parties are essential.

    Good luck with the 'cane, and better luck banging your neighbor. Rock on.

    Thanks unc Ed will update later tonight.

    "The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
    -Frank Underwood

  • In reply to Barboone
    kraynro's picture

    barboon:
    Day 1.
    Im stocked up on provisions and supplies. Luckily im not in a Evac zone. I have 3 days worth of non perishables in case the power goes out. I have an escape route just in case $h!t really hits the fan. I talked to a couple of neighbors and they think I'm crazy.

    The girl down the hall actually introduced herself this morning by knocking at my door. I dont know if this bitch found out I work in finance or she is simply a nice person; but then again I have been here a while so she must just want my precious bananas (I'm gonna bang her or at least try to).

    Some people are having "hurricane parties" wtf is their problem? They are not prepared at all.
    note to self:go to the hardware store and buy a machete just in case someone tries to take my booty.

    hahahahaha awesome post. i actually laughed. I don't think you would need all that stuff but it is def fun to get prepared. keep us updated on that chick!

  • Koho's picture

    The MSM thinks that the more people will watch them, the more theatrical/crazy/"world ending" the news is- sadly, this is what has become of "news reporting".

    Either way, I happen to be in a place where the hurricane should pass directly over.. Being on relatively "high ground" I'm not worried about flooding and actually am a little excited for this biatch to get here.

    Earthquake and hurricane in one week? Sh*t is getting real..

  • Edmundo Braverman's picture

    Not for nothing, but just about every home in New Orleans keeps an ax and a pirogue or inflatable raft in their attic so they can hack their way through the roof and float to safety. True story.

    EDIT: For those wondering what a pirogue is, here's a picture of the last one I built:

  • Midas Mulligan Magoo's picture

    Don't know about hurricane parties but I damn sure bastardized a spawn or two during that power failure in 2003.
    Also, as an example of what not to do during a contrived panic, a few of my friends and I got so drunk on NYE 2000 that we crushed my boy's Y2K kidney beans and cinnamon rolls stash that was supposed to last him a month. Needless to say the maid was not amused and I learned that a grown man is never too young to wear diapers.

  • In reply to Midas Mulligan Magoo
    In The Flesh's picture

    Midas Mulligan Magoo:
    Don't know about hurricane parties but I damn sure bastardized a spawn or two during that power failure in 2003.
    Also, as an example of what not to do during a contrived panic, a few of my friends and I got so drunk on NYE 2000 that we crushed my boy's Y2K kidney beans and cinnamon rolls stash that was supposed to last him a month. Needless to say the maid was not amused and I learned that a grown man is never too young to wear diapers.

    Midas, it is imperative that you write a book. You could put Tucker Max out of business!

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to Edmundo Braverman
    therightcoast_'s picture

    Edmundo Braverman:
    Not for nothing, but just about every home in New Orleans keeps an ax and a pirogue or inflatable raft in their attic so they can hack their way through the roof and float to safety. True story.

    EDIT: For those wondering what a pirogue is, here's a picture of the last one I built:

    You built that? awesome. What kind of wood?

  • LancelotLink's picture

    Stocked up on beer...that is all. Idea is to have an outdoor party and mud wrestle with some ladies hiyooo

    yellow t-shirt

  • In The Flesh's picture

    I plan on listening to music all day and night. Plan to keep a running update. Current record: Depeche Mode Best Of. On deck: Iron Maiden, Powerslave.

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to therightcoast_
    Edmundo Braverman's picture

    therightcoast_:
    Edmundo Braverman:
    Not for nothing, but just about every home in New Orleans keeps an ax and a pirogue or inflatable raft in their attic so they can hack their way through the roof and float to safety. True story.

    EDIT: For those wondering what a pirogue is, here's a picture of the last one I built:

    You built that? awesome. What kind of wood?

    Regular old plywood from Home Depot. It's all fiberglassed, so it's waterproof. 16-feet long and less than $200 to build all in.

    Here's a couple other shots:


  • ironalbatross89's picture

    Eddie that is really good work man. @Baboon. Being from North Carolina and being at the coast for some great hurricanes and tropical storms I can say the parties are how you survive. Yeah, you don't want to be blackout drunk when it hits but you have to kill the anticipation and waiting for power sometime. And if you break shit you can always blame it on Irene... Just don't shit on the water heater. A friend of mine did that and you can't blame a turd in a closet on a hurricane.

    "Ambition and education is first and talent is second"- T.I.

  • new_era's picture

    this is not going to be a big deal no power's going out no flooding
    you heard it here first

  • Aviator's picture

    It's 3pm and nothing has happened yet in Manhattan, no strong winds no rain, boring.

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

    Shit is rough in the Carolinas.

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • MMBinNC's picture

    The biggest problem for NYC is gonna be the subway flooding. I severely doubt there will be any real damage from wind or water above that. Above 10 stories the wind speed is approximately double that of what is recorded on the ground. So If you get hit by a tropical storm, you will have Cat. 1 winds. It is looking like a tropical storm may even be overestimating the strength of Irene now. The corridors/streets will also create higher gusts, but not dramatically so. The flooding is possible, but the storm surge in other areas in negligible, so if it floods 2 feet in the "right angle" NYC harbor I'd be surprised. Even if it did get above the 3ft necessary to flood NYC, it would drain into the subways rather than the houses. I'm not saying be unprepared, but don't give in to all this fear-mongering. This isn't Katrina, Fran, etc. It's like a strong nor'easter.

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • In reply to MMBinNC
    happypantsmcgee's picture

    MMBinNC:
    Above 10 stories the wind speed is approximately double that of what is recorded on the ground.

    False. This is only true in certain conditions.

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • In reply to happypantsmcgee
    MMBinNC's picture

    happypantsmcgee:
    Shit is rough in the Carolinas.

    I live in NC and it's not really. My mother who lives at the beach went to work today. Some of my friends in Nags Head are still there. Its pretty hard to get hurt by a hurricane unless ur on the ocean. Then the water could undermine ur foundation and your house collapse. That's about it, only poorly constructed or old houses would lose their roof in this weak shit. And I'm at school and it's not even raining. (I go to Duke so it's inland but still).

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • In The Flesh's picture

    Why am I not surprised? It's weakening dramatically before it even gets here. Can't let facts get in the way of contrived, overhyped panic.

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to happypantsmcgee
    MMBinNC's picture

    happypantsmcgee:
    MMBinNC:
    Above 10 stories the wind speed is approximately double that of what is recorded on the ground.

    False. This is only true in certain conditions.

    Idk really, I saw it on the Weather Channel. Jim Cantore was talking about his greatest fear for NYC about Irene. Also, I remember every time a hurricane formed in the Atlantic we'd see Jim Cantore at the beach where I live. We'd go up to him and be like "leave!". Tons of people did it, because wherever he is is where they think the most damage is gonna be. Nice guy, but every time I saw him reporting from "Wrightsville Beach, NC" my heart sank a litlle. lol

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • MMBinNC's picture

    Incidentally he is in Battery Park right now.

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • markhobbus's picture

    Any hurricane irene plays? can anyone come up with something more creative that shorting insurance companies?

  • new_era's picture
  • Barboone's picture

    DAY 1 1600 hrs.

    Got the machete in chinatown this morning. I feel a lot safer now. Spent some time getting it sharp with a stone and I can give someone a very close shave at this time.

    I knocked on the neighbor's door and her roomate came to the door. (a lot hotter than girl #1) they made coffee and we talked about my country (located in central America). +1 for me, the hot one has been there and loves it. (perhaps we can evacuate back to the mother land together).Getting laid by these hoe remains to be seen I'm all in on Irene to get me laid. I'm not feeling their pretentious ways tho. Plus they asked for help building an IKEA shelf. Like cartman once said "screw you guys im going home."

    I went over some powerpoint presentations and I think my little brother can spell better than this asians. "But me MFE from NYU and thas why I wok hea u no talk to me like that". Nothing against asians but I swear they are Chinese spies infiltrating the system. They do have kick ass modeling skills and their charts are sweet.

    Went up to the roof top, smoked a cigar that I stole from my MD. Nothing like a good cigar with a little bit of good rum on the side. I'm really starting to think this intermittent rain means we are not going to get hit. My hip starts vibrating...ghost vibration damn you! Thinking about staying on the IB path or going to S&T.

    Phone rings for real this time. It's my analyst friend that works in PE. She is so beautiful, classy, and perfect. her hair looks so perfect not too greasy and not too dry. Her eyes are piercing blue flames; they remind me of Bambi. And her body is a perfect 11 (Shes got looks and brains; I need to give her my seed). She is calling to complain about how much she hates finace and she doesn't feel like she is adding any value to the world. I reminded her that she is, by cutting costs and polluting the $h!t out of the jungle; one of their flagship companies is creating thousands of jobs in Brazil and killing thousands of trees (Fuck my ozone).

    Incoming... switch over, it's the boss. He found my sister on faceook and asked me if he could friend her (I'm not ok with that). Then goes on to tell me how the chinese company we are taking public this fall is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
    Me: "Based on our DD it is, but hey look at sino forest you never know. Im sure Paulson said the same thing about Chinese trees".
    Boss: "You know what? you are an Idiot I don't event know why I ask for your opinion. You are a smart guy but sometimes you are such an Idiot. This company is going to be NYSE listed. Paulson is a one trick pony". click!

    FML!! I forgot I left the love of my life holding on! She is not picking up. :(
    Incoming Text message. It's my sister! it reads:
    "Who is this old fat ugly guy that just sent me a friend request and is a mutual friend?" lol

    Did I happen to mention a client sent me an e-mail telling me he has a satellite phone for the weekend "just in case". I invited a couple of girls over, their mission should they choose to accept it. But everyone is saying come over... I'm not going over, you come over, I'm prepared you are not. I have enough supplies for two people me and a girl.

    Checking out the little pirogue Eddie posted and I'm deffinitely going to look into building one in the near future just for the hell of it.

    "The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
    -Frank Underwood

  • MMBinNC's picture

    ^^^^^
    lolololol

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • clownfish's picture

    Local Walmart has sold 60 pallets of water, all batteries, candles, Pepsi Max and flashlights.

  • MMBinNC's picture

    Pepsi Max is an essential supply in a hurricane. Unlike food or a generator. Who cares if your starving to death if you have a low calorie, highly caffeinated soda to perk you up?

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • In reply to MMBinNC
    Kenny_Powers_CFA's picture

    MMBinNC:
    Pepsi Max is an essential supply in a hurricane. Unlike food or a generator. Who cares if your starving to death if you have a low calorie, highly caffeinated soda to perk you up?

    Pepsi Max's ginseng will grant the drinkers the wisdom of the Orient, helping them to survive.

    There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.

  • In The Flesh's picture

    Still no rain yet. Moving onto some Queensryche, followed by some Paul Simon to take it down a notch.

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • txjustin's picture

    Last 2 hurricanes here I got shitcanned at hurricane parties. Like Eddie said, they are essential.

  • duffmt6's picture

    beers and preseason football right now. stocked up on friday with food and beverages.

    "For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."

  • In reply to markhobbus
    duffmt6's picture

    markhobbus:
    Any hurricane irene plays? can anyone come up with something more creative that shorting insurance companies?

    long booze companies?

    "For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."

  • In reply to duffmt6
    bfin's picture

    duffmt6:
    markhobbus:
    Any hurricane irene plays? can anyone come up with something more creative that shorting insurance companies?

    long booze companies?

    Long $PG

    The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

    WSO is not your personal search function.

  • PinnacleMan's picture

    I'm in Hells Kitchen, just a ton of rain here. Nothing major, but the news says that the worst will hit around 8.00am tomorrow -the storm tracks are pretty credible now though.

  • Barboone's picture

    Day 2. 0100 hrs.

    What a fucked up day. I called my cousin who is a nuke in the NAVY aboard a Nimitz class carrier in VA. He goes on to tell me how Bloomberg blew everything out of proportion just because he got crucified for the winter storms. He tells me to expect a weaksauce hurricane (what does that even mean Texas boy?). Tropical storm.

    I tried to get some action going with the neighbors, went over and had a drink (more like 4-5). The problem was that they had way too many "dudes and duderettes" over and they all work in real estate.
    Why is everyone in the city in real estate these days? eww...There is nothing like selling a piece of paper that has value because I said so and I put the price on it (well my analysts and MD came up with the price I was just the middleman of a middleman but they don't need to know that).

    So here I am im swinging my dick from side to side, around the place breaking jaws with all the "deal" talk. It was kind of a "Liar's Poker" moment when Michael Lewis imagines an elephant trunk between the legs. Mood turns sour and Bankers are at fault for Irene heading this way and the bad $h!t in the world talk so I decide to get out of the Donald's cult follower association meeting.

    There goes my shot at the title with Bimbo #1. Bimbo #2's nipples were getting hard when I was talking about how we are part of the syndicate of a little company she uses everyday. I will get to her in due time after I do my DD on her.

    Guys, I want to apologize to all. I was put in a precarious situation so I felt smacking those idiots around was the right thing to do. (I know I shouldn't be wasting my superpowers in vain). Some RE brokers need to be put in their place. We monkeys are here >>>-------<<< and those squirrels are here >>>_____<<<<(sorry I couldn't find a higher key on the board for "us"). I came to realize, Wall Street changed my life; matter of fact it GAVE me a life! I love Wall Street and I will defend it to death!

    Now I'm going to the store to get some food and some cigarretes because I still have the adrenaline and testosterone rush from transforming into an 800 lb gorilla. I'm walking around the store and somehow I wound up in front of the enema section WTF?!?! is wrong with people? I'm short enema kits for the record. I'm walking around aimlessly just wanting to burn some dollars when my future wife calls me.
    her: Hey, you left me hanging before I hope everything is ok.
    me: Yes, I'm sorry. The boss called me about stupid stuff, friending my sister on FB. yayayayaya
    her: Thanks I see how important I am. But I have stuff to do, so we will talk next week. Ok? click!

    Why am I always the @$$hole left with a click? Why do I want to impregnate this prude girl so bad? Why isn't Irene fucking $h!t up? Why hasn't my mother called to see if I'm ok?

    I get a text from a bootie call who has the most beautiful melons in the upper west side. It reads "hey, I'm home bored can I come over drink some of your wine and watch a movie?" (My Pinot Noir stash has saved my life again).

    I'm here and she is sleeping after a Gallagher style watermelon smashing session. I'm going to bed let's hope my cousin is right and we don't have to deal with any bull$h!t. Day 1= Survived.

    "The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
    -Frank Underwood

  • In The Flesh's picture

    Finished Day 1 with some Opeth, Behemoth, Decapitated, and Arch Enemy. U2, Radiohead, Vader, Ozzy, and some more Opeth forthcoming.

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to Barboone
    wannabeaballer's picture

    barboon:
    Day 2. 0100 hrs.

    What a fucked up day. I called my cousin who is a nuke in the NAVY aboard a Nimitz class carrier in VA. He goes on to tell me how Bloomberg blew everything out of proportion just because he got crucified for the winter storms. He tells me to expect a weaksauce hurricane (what does that even mean Texas boy?). Tropical storm.

    I tried to get some action going with the neighbors, went over and had a drink (more like 4-5). The problem was that they had way too many "dudes and duderettes" over and they all work in real estate.
    Why is everyone in the city in real estate these days? eww...There is nothing like selling a piece of paper that has value because I said so and I put the price on it (well my analysts and MD came up with the price I was just the middleman of a middleman but they don't need to know that).

    So here I am im swinging my dick from side to side, around the place breaking jaws with all the "deal" talk. It was kind of a "Liar's Poker" moment when Michael Lewis imagines an elephant trunk between the legs. Mood turns sour and Bankers are at fault for Irene heading this way and the bad $h!t in the world talk so I decide to get out of the Donald's cult follower association meeting.

    There goes my shot at the title with Bimbo #1. Bimbo #2's nipples were getting hard when I was talking about how we are part of the syndicate of a little company she uses everyday. I will get to her in due time after I do my DD on her.

    Guys, I want to apologize to all. I was put in a precarious situation so I felt smacking those idiots around was the right thing to do. (I know I shouldn't be wasting my superpowers in vain). Some RE brokers need to be put in their place. We monkeys are here >>>-------<<< and those squirrels are here >>>_____<<<<(sorry I couldn't find a higher key on the board for "us"). I came to realize, Wall Street changed my life; matter of fact it GAVE me a life! I love Wall Street and I will defend it to death!

    Now I'm going to the store to get some food and some cigarretes because I still have the adrenaline and testosterone rush from transforming into an 800 lb gorilla. I'm walking around the store and somehow I wound up in front of the enema section WTF?!?! is wrong with people? I'm short enema kits for the record. I'm walking around aimlessly just wanting to burn some dollars when my future wife calls me.
    her: Hey, you left me hanging before I hope everything is ok.
    me: Yes, I'm sorry. The boss called me about stupid stuff, friending my sister on FB. yayayayaya
    her: Thanks I see how important I am. But I have stuff to do, so we will talk next week. Ok? click!

    Why am I always the @$$hole left with a click? Why do I want to impregnate this prude girl so bad? Why isn't Irene fucking $h!t up? Why hasn't my mother called to see if I'm ok?

    I get a text from a bootie call who has the most beautiful melons in the upper west side. It reads "hey, I'm home bored can I come over drink some of your wine and watch a movie?" (My Pinot Noir stash has saved my life again).

    I'm here and she is sleeping after a Gallagher style watermelon smashing session. I'm going to bed let's hope my cousin is right and we don't have to deal with any bull$h!t. Day 1= Survived.

    If your cousin is actually on a carrier now and he's not the commanding officer then there is no chance in hell you can just pick up the phone and call him. It is possible to call someone on or off the boat, but that doesn't happen during high demand times - so a blueballed monkey can't yut it up with his cousin in the middle of a hurricane.

    As for the imaginary girls, have fun nailing them before you have to get back to work monday. Don't forget to blog about it!

  • Flake's picture

    Weaksauce.

    Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

  • Midas Mulligan Magoo's picture

    @barboon

    you need to get a gray tube sock stuff a banana in it and hang that shit out of your fly

    go to your neighbor's pad grab her ass and yell PLUS ONE

    if that don't get you the cooz nothing will

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