The dark side of workaholism and why it is never too late to hit the breaks
Hi tigers! I admit it - I used to be a workaholic. I used to see myself as an achievement oriented, results focused and hard driving career woman. I was in denial. The workaholism symptoms are really hard to spot. It started with a lingering feeling of guilt every time I took a day or even a few hours off. I remember liking to play the role of "earth mother". Always available to pick up the next pitch. Always happy to stay in the office during public holidays. Always ready to fly 5 hours on business for an one hour meeting. Then I realized that I stopped buying casual cloths (when would I wear them?) – Instead my business suits, white shirts, black leather bags and high heels took over my wardrobe. Maybe that is when I started to spend my weekends at the office. One day I woke up with a realization that my self-esteem was completely defined through work. Here is what happened next:
I got scared. The fear to lose my business card identity made me do irrational things. Like working even more! I was digging in until I was unable to switch off. The already high expectations from my bosses became even higher. Perversely, it made me feel needed and appreciated. Until one day it became clear to me that I changed and I didn’t like what I saw. I used to be brilliant, capable, creative and easy to get along with. I became controlling, obsessed with performance and not interesting to talk to. I hit the bottom.
Today I am celebrating the 3rd anniversary of my decision to take a break and escape from my predicament. Instead of spending a hundred grand on an MBA I put a fraction of that amount in the best investment I ever made and travelled around the world for one year. I met great people, some of whom became my dear friends and mentors. I got my life and self-esteem back. My career perspectives look great because I am more creative, productive and motivated. I am not afraid to let go because I have a broader set of skills to build upon. Most importantly, I use my time strategically and focus on fulfilling my own dreams rather than getting paid to fulfil someone else’s.
Are you a workaholic? What is your story?
Comments
Guilty and still an
Guilty and still an enthusiastic participant in the rat race.
I admire your decision to take a very long break, however wonder if that wouldn't take you out of the gene pool for the 'interesting' (from a workaholic's perspective) career tracks? What are you up to now?
What are you going to do next
What are you going to do next and what is your personality type? Interested to know more about where you're taking things
Great post. A good contrast
Great post. A good contrast to the tone of most posts on WSO.
It's all manipulated with junk bonds. You can't win.
haven't graduated yet so I'll
haven't graduated yet so I'll take it as a cautionary tale- but definitely curious to hear what you're up to now
be ashamed to die, until you have won some victory for humanity- horace mann
Haha, worker drones! Say
Haha, worker drones! Say "Hello" to the man for me!
Tell us the whole story: what
Tell us the whole story: what do you do now, and how are you going to survive in the future?
"I dumped everything and went traveling until I ran out of cash" is nice when you land on your feet after that. If you ended up living on your friend's couch, and flipping burgers/grooming dogs for living, that is not a good outcome from the average workaholics perspective, even though it might be something that makes you happy.
OP will marry a gunner who
OP will marry a gunner who did the 2+2+HBS+Prestige path and live happily every after. You bros do not have that option. Remember that.
Tigers? We are monkeys here.
Tigers? We are monkeys here.
Lioness, Lioness, tell us
Lioness, Lioness, tell us more.
I worked in banking and consulting and had a similar experience. One day a friend of mine was in the hospital and I went to visit over lunch. It wasn't a life threatening illness or anything, and I'm not a doctor now, but it made me realize how "removed" I was. I was just sitting in the hospital cafeteria and it hit me like a sack of bricks. It's amazing how seriously people in finance take their lives....not that there's anything wrong with working hard..but sometimes, it's just a bit..
I never understood how people
I never understood how people could love work so much. But then I learned from my friend who's just as bad as the OP that its not the work, it's the addiction to praise, feeling needed, and status. Even then, I still dont understand why people care what others think about them when everyone else is too into themselves to give a shit about you.
Some people only have this
Some people only have this realisation when they suddenly lose their job. For them it's a huge shock.
Do you regret getting into the industry in the first place? I wonder if you wish you'd done something else after college.
So op, I take it you didn't
So op, I take it you didn't get in to the industry in the first place because you loved it/wanted to dedicate your life to mastery of it?
“...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
- Schopenhauer
I have the same question has
I have the same question has etherlord. Taking an extended break does sound good in theory. But when there's no guarantee that you'll still have a job after even a month's break, how do you start back again after a whole year off the grid?
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From a family of workaholics,
From a family of workaholics, so I understand where you're coming from. I am also looking to study/travel abroad sometime as well.
Seen it in Eat Pray Love
Seen it in Eat Pray Love
etherlord: Tell us the whole
Thanks for all the comments.
The more you know the less you need. Right?
Tell us the strategy how you
There are so many ways to do
I see this working for a
Well if you're an associate
I'm a junior in college
I came in to this with an