In a small conference room, I was greeted by my HR partner and one of the top dogs in my coverage group. I sat down, and my heart started racing a little and I could hear it in my ears. I also had an insane urge to pee.
Then a voice came beaming from the polycom: Disincentivy, we are letting you go.
They had begun to give me the cookie cutter reasons as of why they were laying me off, when I surprisingly to myself, and to them, interrupted to tell them that they should save the speech. It all took less than a minute.
My eyes shifted to The Dog in the room and I waited for them to say something, anything? I desperately wanted them to; after all, that person right infront of me is my mentor. I trusted them. They finally asked me if I have any personal items that they can help collect for me. (Are you fucking kidding me?) Angrily, I gave them a list of things, and warned them (with a slightly bitter tone) that if any of my shoes were missing, I will sue them.
I was being escorted by security to the elevator banks, when I remembered I wanted to pee. My mind was completely off the topic and on to controlling my tiny bladder.
I had a pity party for 2 hours then I met amazing friends for hookah. By the time I went home, I was dandy. I accepted a VC offer in the next couple of days, strolled through Central Park, played with psycho squirrels, read, cooked, spent more time with friends, and off I went to my new job on the following Monday.
I had received five calls from my ex-employer. They were all pertaining to the bank laptop and BB that I still have in my possession, which I am planning to possibly give them a collective heart attack before I return. Today I got another call that I couldn’t take. I expected the voicemail to say something along the lines of “ WE FUCKING WANT THAT FUCKING LAPTOP, BITHC”, but I was surprised to hear The Dog’s voice. He asked if we could have drinks and see if our mentorship could continue.
I have to say that I am not sore now and that I am glad this whole scary and unnerving experience happened while I am still young and able to rebound quickly with minimum collateral.
If you’re one of the thousands whom, like me, got laid off this round, I feel for you, i am sorry you had to go through it, but please do not panic, it really is not the end of the world.
Love the tags. Good for you for landing on your feet.
+1, boss status. I'd bitch about it for like a week or two, so huge props for making the best of it.
wonder what happened to those squirrels...
Hopefully the industry will be better when I enter the work force.
Loved the post. Glad to hear you're handling it well.
How did you get this VC offer? Was it lined up before you left or did you get it afterwards?
This happened to me last week. 5 weeks into the job as a temp and got the axe. Live and learn I guess.
so your not "top talent"?
Top talent doesn't get let go.
nm
you rock dude! +1
i remember having a very similar experience at my first job when i was laid off about 10 months into it.... my manager did not say a fucking word to me as the HR partner did her business. the only difference is that i went on 4 months of funemployment before getting a new, much better gig (though probably not as well-paying as yours).
Glad it worked out for you
nice job landing on your feet
what a trooper
Props for getting laid off Margin Call style with security escorting you out and all, before you stepped in the elevator did you pass on a USB to a quant telling him to be careful? lol... and now that you have given us this story I am assuming you were one of 1,500 laid off from DB?
In honor of the Olympics, you did the work version of this:
[quote=DrPeterVenkman]In honor of the Olympics, you did the work version of this:
]
THIS!!
Nice tags.
The honey badger does all the work, while other animals just ssswoop in for the ssscraps.
If(when) I am told we are letting you go I am going to say that won't be necessary as I don't want to go. Also, once they start giving me the BS why we are doing this speech I'm going to tell them to skip that and go straight to the details of my severance package. Might as well go out with a bang.
You really are great with the Force. Kudos for getting back on your feet so quickly.
From reading your post, I get a subtle sense that you weren't that surprised it happened - is that true?
Sorry to hear, Disincentivy. Best of luck at your new job!
Good job. Best of luck.
What a BAUS! That type of mental fortitude will definitely carry you to great heights. Mad props.
My condolences and congratulations, dis. Well done and Im terribly sorry.
so your not "top talent"?
Everyone is getting shit canned lately. I've seen 3 or 4 similar stories on the front page within the last week.
hoodinternet: I was approached by a headhunter who had sent me on a few interviews and I got a couple of offers that I did not accept. The VC made me an offer on Friday and I got canned on Monday.
sayandarula: My HR partner is the worst woman known to Corporate America thus far! She is hated by each and every person throughout the bank's extensive offices across the world, literally. She never smiles, she is very fake, and she is just a miserable person.
FuturesTraderMan: I didn't hand out a USB but I handed out a good middle finger :) Why would you assume that? Other banks laid people off as well, plus what is the benefit of figuring out where I worked?
Going Concern: I actually did not see it at all, that same day I had coffee with my boss and we were talking about how great I've been doing lately and how ignorant I am when it comes to Nat Gas. I took lunch, came back, worked a little, then it all happened. The firing had already been going on for about a week in other offices, and it hit NY that Monday, within an hour, most analysts on the floor were gone and my boss was still in his office, when he disappeared, I got called in. I was calm because I knew it was not personal. They were not firing me because of performance issues, they did not fire me because I was a terrible being, they did it because they simply had to.
You guys are awesome, come here let's have a group hug.
Not you blastoise, you suck.
P.S: The squirrels are in a better place now.
Bring it in, monkeys. Bring it in.
Grats =)
And blastoise posted the same thing two days in a row at roughly the same time. Nice.
Dude, please request a name change to Honey Badger. I'll make that shit happen. Do it.
PS- glad to hear you landed upright.
Good stuff, but I'm surprised you found another job within 1 week. How did you manage to do that???.
Thanks for posting!
Under-performing staff also ask me such questions. If only people would learn to read before asking questions this world would be so much more efficient and less stressful.
There is No mention of how he got the VC job. What you talking about!
BEAST!!
How did they know your WSO name? That's crazy.
Good for you - keep up the good work. VC is gonna' be great.
tl;dr
Okay, I will break it down to bits and peaces and send via pm
Please don't.
Newbie here,senior year student, never had finance related jobs before. It is totally understandable that the finance world is a crazy harsh place as I have seen so many arrogant and snobbish finance major classmates already(kinda initimidated by that already). I can recall some proverbs from my dad which I found extremely useful when dealing with people. Hopefully it could be any useful to you guys. (He learned it hard way from 20+ years experience at a government department) 1.鸟尽弓藏，Bows are abadoned when the birds are hunted down. ( try to prove you values at all times) 2.知己知彼百战百胜，（from Sun-Tzu）Knowing both youself and the opponents makes you invincible. (know you limits, make predictions about counterparts' moves, find a back up plan) 3.恩威并施，Use rewards and punishments concurrently, try to influence people with the power you have, formal or personal and make your presence more than physical. You can choose to punish someone you disprove even if it is not necessary , by the same manner, you can choose to grant favors to someone you fond despite it may not be available for him otherwise. The bottom line is, be ethical and professional, and it is all about how to interpertate things within the bounds of moral codes and laws.
鸟尽弓.知己知彼百战百胜恩威并施
^ I made fortune cookie 4u it says u gon die sowwy :(
LOL
You have a good new start, leave those shits alone
"Junior Level Wall Street Peon Gets Laid Off, Realizes She is Not the Center of the Universe" would be a better title for this thread.
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