You mad? Why no, not at all, asshole :)
In a small conference room, I was greeted by my HR partner and one of the top dogs in my coverage group. I sat down, and my heart started racing a little and I could hear it in my ears. I also had an insane urge to pee.
Then a voice came beaming from the polycom: Disincentivy, we are letting you go.
They had begun to give me the cookie cutter reasons as of why they were laying me off, when I surprisingly to myself, and to them, interrupted to tell them that they should save the speech. It all took less than a minute.
My eyes shifted to The Dog in the room and I waited for them to say something, anything? I desperately wanted them to; after all, that person right infront of me is my mentor. I trusted them. They finally asked me if I have any personal items that they can help collect for me. (Are you fucking kidding me?) Angrily, I gave them a list of things, and warned them (with a slightly bitter tone) that if any of my shoes were missing, I will sue them.
I was being escorted by security to the elevator banks, when I remembered I wanted to pee. My mind was completely off the topic and on to controlling my tiny bladder.
I had a pity party for 2 hours then I met amazing friends for hookah. By the time I went home, I was dandy. I accepted a VC offer in the next couple of days, strolled through Central Park, played with psycho squirrels, read, cooked, spent more time with friends, and off I went to my new job on the following Monday.
I had received five calls from my ex-employer. They were all pertaining to the bank laptop and BB that I still have in my possession, which I am planning to possibly give them a collective heart attack before I return. Today I got another call that I couldn’t take. I expected the voicemail to say something along the lines of “ WE FUCKING WANT THAT FUCKING LAPTOP, BITHC”, but I was surprised to hear The Dog’s voice. He asked if we could have drinks and see if our mentorship could continue.
I have to say that I am not sore now and that I am glad this whole scary and unnerving experience happened while I am still young and able to rebound quickly with minimum collateral.
If you’re one of the thousands whom, like me, got laid off this round, I feel for you, i am sorry you had to go through it, but please do not panic, it really is not the end of the world.







Comments
Love the tags. Good for you
Love the tags. Good for you for landing on your feet.
+1, boss status. I'd bitch
+1, boss status. I'd bitch about it for like a week or two, so huge props for making the best of it.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
wonder what happened to those
wonder what happened to those squirrels...
RIP WSO Chat.
Hopefully the industry will
Hopefully the industry will be better when I enter the work force.
Loved the post. Glad to hear you're handling it well.
How did you get this VC
How did you get this VC offer? Was it lined up before you left or did you get it afterwards?
This happened to me last
This happened to me last week. 5 weeks into the job as a temp and got the axe. Live and learn I guess.
so your not "top talent"?
so your not "top talent"?
you rock dude! +1 i remember
you rock dude! +1
i remember having a very similar experience at my first job when i was laid off about 10 months into it.... my manager did not say a fucking word to me as the HR partner did her business. the only difference is that i went on 4 months of funemployment before getting a new, much better gig (though probably not as well-paying as yours).
Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
Glad it worked out for you
Glad it worked out for you
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
nice job landing on your feet
nice job landing on your feet
what a trooper
what a trooper
I knew that even with all my past failures, if i could make a ton of money and become a big swinging dick, I knew that banking would fill the void inside of my life, that at least for a moment the burden of this conundrum called life would be lifted from
Props for getting laid off
Props for getting laid off margin call style with security escorting you out and all, before you stepped in the elevator did you pass on a USB to a quant telling him to be careful? lol... and now that you have given us this story I am assuming you were one of 1,500 laid off from DB?
"Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman." -- George Soros
In honor of the Olympics, you
In honor of the Olympics, you did the work version of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFn47a_Ny0Y
See my WSO blog
Nice tags. The honey badger
Nice tags.
The honey badger does all the work, while other animals just ssswoop in for the ssscraps.
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
DrPeterVenkman: In honor of
In honor of the Olympics, you did the work version of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFn47a_Ny0Y
THIS!!
couldn't let go of my pair of aces...
If(when) I am told we are
Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol
You really are great with the
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
Sorry to hear, Disincentivy.
Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com
https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012
Good job. Best of luck.
Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
What a BAUS! That type of
My condolences and
“...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
- Schopenhauer
so your not "top talent"?
Everyone is getting shit
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. - Friedrich Nietzsche
hoodinternet: I was
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
You guys are awesome, come
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Grats =) And blastoise posted
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer
Dude, please request a name
"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
Disincentivy: You guys are
Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com
https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012
Good stuff, but I'm surprised
No contract means I have all the power. They want me, but they can't have me. - Don Draper
blastoise: so your not "top
nm
Disincentivy: You guys are
BEAST!!
How did they know your WSO
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Good for you - keep up the
analyst1609: Good stuff, but
Toshi83: analyst1609: Good
No contract means I have all the power. They want me, but they can't have me. - Don Draper
tl;dr
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
Flake: tl;dr Okay, I will
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Disincentivy: Flake: tl;dr
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
Flake: Disincentivy: Flak
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Newbie here,senior year
Don't be yourself, become the person you always wanted to be.
LOL
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
You have a good new start,
"Junior Level Wall Street
melvvvar: "Junior Level Wall
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.
鸟尽弓.知己知彼百战百胜恩威并施 ^ I made
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital
Way to bounce back.
"When you expect things to happen - strangely enough - they do happen."
- JP Morgan
melvvvar: "Junior Level Wall
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.