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We can go below the RBC/Merrill Lynch/TD Plaza for some delicious lunch at Szechuan Express. There are many other restaurants too, so it will be your pick.

I work in the heart of the financial district in downtown Toronto, Bay Street, and I'm just looking to network. Rest assured, I will not be begging you for a job as I do not plan on going into investment banking for another 3 years. I just have a few questions that I would like to have answered in a face-to-face setting. So let's just network over a free lunch!

PM me your info and I will get in touch. Availability is anywhere between 11am-2pm.

5

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Comments (34)

  • qaz123's picture

    Hahaha, yes, you won't ask them for a job directly obviously. But they're not dumb. They know you're gna ask'em for a job after you established the relationship. I'm quite certain there are few question about IBD unanswerable on WSO.

  • HarvardOrBust's picture

    Don't embarrass yourself bro

  • Bi-Winning's picture

    Wow, just wow...

    I win here, I win there...

  • bulge4lyf's picture

    When did BOA join the ranks of GS/MS/JPM?

    I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

  • In reply to bulge4lyf
    Getgo's picture

    bulge4lyf:
    When did BOA join the ranks of GS/MS/JPM?

    These banks are all within 100 feet from where I work. In fact, I just found out that Morgan Stanley is as well. So, my invititation is open to IB employees of GS/MS/JPM/BoA- ML.

  • Valk's picture

    Wow...

    Szechuan express, really? The chances of this actually coming to fruition are low enough, and by going there they're even lower

  • Gekko21's picture

    Wouldn't it be easier to find people on Linkedin, bloomberg, or some other method and personally email them a note rather than sounding completely desperate and making them come to you? I mean, you offer nothing about your enthusiasm or ability and just say on a public forum " Yo Adrienne if your working around here give me a call alright" Why don't you do some leg work and find individual people yourself, rather than asking them to come to you.....do you expect them to suck their own cocks as well?

    PS...coffee works a lot better than lunch,because it less time consuming, cheaper, and its a lot easier to talk while casually drinking a drink than eating a full meal.

    "Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

  • In reply to Gekko21
    Getgo's picture

    Gekko21:
    Wouldn't it be easier to find people on Linkedin, bloomberg, or some other method and personally email them a note rather than sounding completely desperate and making them come to you? I mean, you offer nothing about your enthusiasm or ability and just say on a public forum " Yo Adrienne if your working around here give me a call alright" Why don't you do some leg work and find individual people yourself, rather than asking them to come to you.....do you expect them to suck their own cocks as well?

    PS...coffee works a lot better than lunch,because it less time consuming, cheaper, and its a lot easier to talk while casually drinking a drink than eating a full meal.

    Hmm, point taken. About the coffee thing, not the cock-sucking thing.

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  • oSnap's picture

    Perhaps the people shooting your offer down are not aware of the fact that you are a Mensa member. You should bring this to their attention posthaste (better play it safe... put it in both your lunch threads).

  • happypantsmcgee's picture

    Unreal...MENSA and buying people lunch? Bring Meghan Fox with you and you're hired...

    If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

  • mr_bigglesworth's picture

    Tek:
    So let's just network over a free lunch!

    You should have learned in grade school that there's no such thing as a free lunch. Fail.
  • Kanon's picture

    Alright - get this straight. No banker or finance professional (at any level) will think you're doing them a favor by buying them a $7 lunch. It's an insult. Not because it's a $7 lunch and not a $100 meal - it's because you are assuming people are willing to give out their help, advice and time for a meal from a kid in school.

    If they respond to cold emails/calls they are doing YOU a favor. The thing to do is offer to buy coffee if someone decides to meet with you (but from my past experience, they often counter-offer too). Why people help is because they may see themselves in the same spot once upon a time... or they want to pay it forward (someone helped them when they were younger), or they feel they are now in the position to mentor the inexperienced.

    And another thing - I find it hilarious you're only reaching out to US based banks (and not even the whole list) given you're in Toronto. Bay Street is a pretty small place, you can easily cast a wider net.

  • D M's picture

    Ah he's a kid, give him a break.

    But as douchy as everyone's being, they aren't lying to ya. Instead of offering a free lunch (which really doesnt matter that much to them), politely and tactfully beg them for the opportunity to look at your pimple-ridden face while you grill them about the ins-and-outs of their business and ask for a job.

    :-p

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • oSnap's picture

    Ok Tek, I feel the need to show you that I'm not just a troll and point out the folly in your ways, and how you managed to leave a sour taste in pretty much everyone's mouth from a short 1 paragraph post:

    Tek:
    Free lunch to anyone in JPM, BoA- ML or GS in Toronto

    This thread went sideways from the very first word you typed out: "FREE." If you were trying to pick up a carload of Mexicans at cash corner then you would be on the right track. Unfortunately you're trying to switch careers, not get a deep freezer moved into your basement.

    And you're being a bit of a choosy beggar, no? Why only JPM/BoA/ML/GS? You do realize that on Bay Street RBC/CIBC/TD/BMO/Scotia are pretty big players, right? Now if anyone from a top Canadian bank reads this thread, they're going to feel slighted that their bank apparently isn't important enough for Mr. Mensa to part with 7 of his hard earned dollars, and you think they're going to give up an hour out of their 80hr work week to share a meal with you?

    Ok, unfortunate subject, whatever it's done, let's move on.

    Tek:
    We can go below the RBC/Merrill Lynch/TD Plaza for some delicious lunch at Szechuan Express.

    Oh fuck, did you really open by telling your prospective lunch buddy where he will be eating? This is not Craigslist, it's not 2AM, and you're not giving out deals on handjobs... let's not start the relationship with you dictating terms.

    Tek:
    There are many other restaurants too, so it will be your pick.

    Oh phew, so I would get a say in this matter after all... I was beginning to worry that you'd order for me too. But you already made your selection known, and I really wouldn't want to upset you, honey. I know how you get when you haven't had your Szechuan Express.

    Tek:
    I work in the heart of the financial district in downtown Toronto, Bay Street.

    That's right, get it out there early: I don't want this arrangement to hassle me too much. I work in the heart of downtown Toronto, and I am willing to travel a block or two to see you.

    Tek:
    and I'm just looking to network.

    Good call on managing your lunch date's expectations right out of the gates. Remember: this is just a networking exercise. God forbid you guys get along and they want to establish a friendship of some form where you actually bring something to the table. You can quickly point out how you were never interested in anything serious. This is just networking, baby.

    Tek:
    Rest assured, I will not be begging you for a job as I do not plan on going into investment banking for another 3 years. I just have a few questions that I would like to have answered in a face-to-face setting.

    Not for another fucking 3 years?!? You mean you DON'T need to land a finance gig pronto to keep the web-of-lies you told your Russian mail-order bride in tact? [b]Then why can't you use the search button and learn through WSO like everyone fucking else?[/b] Oh, right... sorry, sometimes I get out of line. I forgot you were with Mensa. My apologies. Right this way sir.

    Tek:
    So let's just network over a free lunch!

    Great choice of wording. It never hurts to remind these muppets:

    1) This is JUST networking.
    2) Lunch is FREE.

    Tek:
    PM me your info and I will get in touch.

    When you're making it rain with $7 free lunches there's no need to get these dummies to tell you when a good time to contact them would be... nah, just get them to send you their info and you'll call them within a week or two, when it's good for you.

    Tek:
    Availability is anywhere between 11am-2pm.

    You are available between 11AM - 2PM? La-de-fucking-da. Thanks for telling your prospective lunch buddy not only to jump, but when.

    Also, where's a fucking please and thank you? Re-read your original post. I don't see it anywhere.

    In your other thread you say you have pretty good people skills... everything you've posted today points in the other direction. You need to work on your people skills.

  • Bi-Winning's picture

    ^ oooooSnaaaaaap! Silver banana'd.

    Edit: Why did you delete that epic post?

    I win here, I win there...

  • oSnap's picture

    ^ I went on a bit of a rant once I started and had a pang of remorse once I hit post and realized I wrote a diatribe lambasting some socially handicapped kid.

    But I just can't let that SB go to waste...

  • D M's picture

    Well, I plead for leniency Tek, bur after oSnap's fantastic rant I'm going to advise you to start a whole new account (dont change your username, youll be found out). I also advise not asking for advice on anything for a few months. Stick to reading/commenting and get the feel of WSO before you ask another question... or offer free networking lunches.

    oSnap, I'd find it hypocritical to give you an SB after my plea for leniency, thus I won't. Instead, remember that I would otherwise award you one. I know the thought of my sincerity and awe at your skillful pwnage of a noob will keep you warm when it's cold and full when you're hungry.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • Gekko21's picture

    Fuck hypocrisy, that post deserves a SB.

    "Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

  • D M's picture

    God damnit, okay.

    +1

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • Getgo's picture

    I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)

    The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.

  • In reply to Getgo
    NYCbandar's picture

    Tek:
    I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)

    The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.

    Ok, he's been subtle so far, but after this little gem I suspect he's trolling.

    If not, Tek, do yourself a huge favor and learn to be a bit more humble before you humiliate yourself in front of a banker at Szechuan Palace or whatever that place was called. Being an asshole isn't tolerated in finance until you've at the very least got an offer in hand, and even then you're better off waiting a few years.

    If and when you actually sit down with a banker, do everything in your power to not let them know you think you are better than they are - I know that's hard for you.

  • George87's picture

    oSnap, SB for you sir, hats down! Def tore him a new a**hole

  • In reply to NYCbandar
    Getgo's picture

    NYCbandar:
    Tek:
    I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)

    The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.

    Ok, he's been subtle so far, but after this little gem I suspect he's trolling.

    If not, Tek, do yourself a huge favor and learn to be a bit more humble before you humiliate yourself in front of a banker at Szechuan Palace or whatever that place was called. Being an asshole isn't tolerated in finance until you've at the very least got an offer in hand, and even then you're better off waiting a few years.

    If and when you actually sit down with a banker, do everything in your power to not let them know you think you are better than they are - I know that's hard for you.

    Rofl, I have nothing to prove to anyone; believe what you would like. If it ever comes down to having to prove anything I've said then that can easily be done in person with my certificates and a google search online. And as my mentor from Booth told me about IB, it's 99% hard work and only 1% brains. Therefore, I will keep your advice in mind.

  • In reply to Getgo
    Kanon's picture

    Tek:
    NYCbandar:
    Tek:
    I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)

    The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.

    Ok, he's been subtle so far, but after this little gem I suspect he's trolling.

    If not, Tek, do yourself a huge favor and learn to be a bit more humble before you humiliate yourself in front of a banker at Szechuan Palace or whatever that place was called. Being an asshole isn't tolerated in finance until you've at the very least got an offer in hand, and even then you're better off waiting a few years.

    If and when you actually sit down with a banker, do everything in your power to not let them know you think you are better than they are - I know that's hard for you.

    Rofl, I have nothing to prove to anyone; believe what you would like. If it ever comes down to having to prove anything I've said then that can easily be done in person with my certificates and a google search online. And as my mentor from Booth told me about IB, it's 99% hard work and only 1% brains. Therefore, I will keep your advice in mind.

    I don't really give a rat's ass if you can "crush" me in a debate or not - especially since you're you're pulling your pants down and swinging your dick on the whole "I'm in Mensa" or "I'm only interested in talking to X,Y,Z bank" in an online forum. If you have to validate your worth anonymously here, I pity you.

    I'm here to tell it like it is and offer advice to those who have not yet gone through the networking process from my own experience doing so. And also, to learn from those who are more experienced than I am. Despite the mockery and jibes you're getting, we are providing you with genuine advice - be humble, likable (not an insufferable douche) and not socially inept because at the end of the day - banking is not rocket science, but bankers want to work with guys/gals who they can stand for 16+ hrs/day. Certainly being a smart but also likable person in a relationship-driven business is a concept even someone of your intelligence can understand, right?

    I also agree this kid's likely a troll. But in case he isn't - there's your advice. Take it or leave it.

  • commoditycalendar's picture

    I skimmed his post history, his GPA is 3.5 from a non-target, claims he's in the top 2% of IQ, claims he debates better than Clinton...

    Also I'm Canadian, how the hell do YOU not mention the big 6 Canadian Banks?
    Major disrepect.

  • In reply to Kanon
    Getgo's picture

    Kanon:
    Tek:
    NYCbandar:
    Tek:
    I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)

    The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.

    Ok, he's been subtle so far, but after this little gem I suspect he's trolling.

    If not, Tek, do yourself a huge favor and learn to be a bit more humble before you humiliate yourself in front of a banker at Szechuan Palace or whatever that place was called. Being an asshole isn't tolerated in finance until you've at the very least got an offer in hand, and even then you're better off waiting a few years.

    If and when you actually sit down with a banker, do everything in your power to not let them know you think you are better than they are - I know that's hard for you.

    Rofl, I have nothing to prove to anyone; believe what you would like. If it ever comes down to having to prove anything I've said then that can easily be done in person with my certificates and a google search online. And as my mentor from Booth told me about IB, it's 99% hard work and only 1% brains. Therefore, I will keep your advice in mind.

    I don't really give a rat's ass if you can "crush" me in a debate or not - especially since you're you're pulling your pants down and swinging your dick on the whole "I'm in Mensa" or "I'm only interested in talking to X,Y,Z bank" in an online forum. If you have to validate your worth anonymously here, I pity you.

    I'm here to tell it like it is and offer advice to those who have not yet gone through the networking process from my own experience doing so. And also, to learn from those who are more experienced than I am. Despite the mockery and jibes you're getting, we are providing you with genuine advice - be humble, likable (not an insufferable douche) and not socially inept because at the end of the day - banking is not rocket science, but bankers want to work with guys/gals who they can stand for 16+ hrs/day. Certainly being a smart but also likable person in a relationship-driven business is a concept even someone of your intelligence can understand, right?

    I also agree this kid's likely a troll. But in case he isn't - there's your advice. Take it or leave it.

    Hey, thank you for the genuine advice. I actually meant to write that debate thing to "oSnap" and not to you, "Kanon." That's the doorknob that made the list attempting to point the flaws in my proposition.

    Cheers,

  • In reply to commoditycalendar
    Getgo's picture

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  • In reply to Getgo
    D M's picture

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • Getgo's picture
  • nontargetPSD92's picture

    "Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be"