Internship dilemma : same group as gf?
I am applying for SA IBD opportunities from a semi-target. My girlfriend is an analyst at one of the BBs in a group that I was interested in prior to her employment there. Also there are a bunch of alums of my school from that group with whom I networked. I don't think the alums know that she is my girlfriend, at least I never mentioned it to them.
Basically I am interested in that group, plus I hope that alums will put in a good word for me, but I don't know if I should state my interest during the interviews. I obviously don't plan to advertise our relationship. But, if I do get a summer offer for that group, do you guys think it will be a problem that my girlfriend is also working there? Or should I aim for a different group instead?
Lol go for the group with your gf...that way you'll actually get to see her cuz otherwise you'll be working too many hours and def won't see her and she'll dump you...plus you can go have a quickie during an all nighter HAHAHAHA
Gotta love being bossed around by your GF and having to do pitchbooks for her while she goes home. Couldnt think of a worse situation, hanging around each other 100 hours a week. I would rather take any other group if I was you. Network with the people and try to get an offer in another group. I knew people at a bank where I interned that were dating but worked in different groups.
I know, I would not be around a significant other 24/7, so being in the same vertical/subgroup with her is out of the question. The thing is that I am reluctant giving up a potentially great opportunity (it's the top group of the bank), just because she works there...
Well, then get her to change groups :), just kidding. I totally understand you, if thats the type of focus you want to work on and if at the same time its the top group of that bank, tough one. Maybe some other people have some viable ideas on this one.
That sucks, but it's just for the summer... And you haven't even landed the SA offer yet... I would go for that group for the reasons you mentioned (networked with a lot of alumni that happen to be said group) to have the highest chance to land the offer.
And let's say you get the FT offer after your SA stint... would you take it? Or by then, would you try for another bank?
How about asking you gf first?
I definitely see the point that Kanon is making (well done, as usual). Just to play devils advocate though, can you see yourself going on a 10 day cruise with this girl? I only ask because that type of confinement and constant close proximity can turn ugly. (My fiancee's mother calls it a tour de divorce). If its a group that you really want then you just have to decide if you can weather the storm so to speak then go for it.
Honestly speaking that bank is my top choice because I think I've hit it off really well with everyone who I meat, and as you said I do think that I'd have the highest chance of getting an offer in that group due to the alumni pull. And, yes if I land SA and the subsequent FT offer, I would take it.
If I were you, I would be more worried about having any internship at all for the summer before worrying about your relationship issues. Keep your focus on getting an offer and worry about this stuff later. You probably won't get this specific position anyway, so it'll probably take care of itself. Good luck though, finding that first internship is always tough, especially coming from a semi-target school
@antibanker: we talked about this in general terms, and she knows i am applying to her bank, and she knows that i have been networking a lot with people from her group. and she always says, if you need anything, i'll see what i can do, and all that stuff. so i guess she is fine with that i am wondering if us dating would be viewed negatively by other co-workers?
@happypantsmcgee: we took a vacation together and it went great, so getting fed up of each other is not that big of a concern.
Haha... fun vacation for a week =/= working with/for her 80-100 hours per week. But my take on this is for you to worry about getting the SA offer first, and deal with things as they come.
I don't think it will be viewed negatively - since she's only an Analyst. If she was higher up on the food chain with greater veto/decisive power over your summer performance, then your co-workers will definitely cut you up behind your back. As it is right now, you and her will just get some light ribbing from the team
Well... at least you can go all Chloe Metz on her as a result of being in the same group.
In all seriousness, I gotta echo what Happy said. If you can survive 10 weeks of being in close quarters with her at all times, you can survive anything with her. The worst case that happens is your life turns into a living hell for 10 weeks and you don't need to endure the "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" treatment. Best case, you two determine you can make it through anything thanks to this and find it that it has no effect on your ability to produce quality work.
As to your group selection, go for what you want first and nothing else, regardless of who is there. I can't help but think about a friend of mine who was working at a bank in the same group as a guy he grew up with who was a total, pompous jackass - I met the kid in question while out watching college football and my buddy's assesment was accurate - and it cuased my friend to work twice as hard to outshine everyone else. Like my buddy case with his schoolmate, my advice to you is as follows:
1) Keep the relationship as low key as possible, as loose lips sink ships and make people look like skank whores. I knew a few women that slept with guys on my floor after the word got out and I know of others that do but the selection of people who know is under lock and key, it's easy to know who revealed it. 2) Work twice as hard as everyone else and show a real good work ethic and drive. This way, in case any one finds out and says you got your gig because of her, you have your hard work and effort to speak for itself. 3) Realize that the job comes first while on the clock (as I'm here slacking) and if both can deal with resolving the job issues of working together first, then you will be fine.
Thanks a lot for the advice Kanon. My father always says that issues should be solved in the order they appear, I guess I needed to hear it from someone else. Will get back to interview prep now. Thanks again.
x
Won't she be gone when you would start FT?
Well, I know for a fact that she most likely will be staying for her 3rd year. And she was talking that she would love to continue as a associate given the opportunity.
Frieds, thanks for the advice, greatly appreciate it.
Just don't shit where you eat. fuck up the relationship and your banking days are over buddy.
who the hell dates banker chicks.
I would never consider working for my BF or with my BF. Stuff that. It'd be just asking for trouble. Imagine the fights ?! Plus I want to earn my keep and make my own path. I don't need his help in landing a job etc. Besides at some point or another office gossip will start. I'd avoid the situation. But that's just me :)
I would never consider working for my BF or with my BF. Stuff that. It'd be just asking for trouble. Imagine the fights ?! Plus I want to earn my keep and make my own path. I don't need his help in landing a job etc. Besides at some point or another office gossip will start. I'd avoid the situation. But that's just me :)
Asking for trouble IMO, ESP as a summer, you don't want to do anything that might rub someone the wrong way. Takes one person to say something and no offer
MissLou, I completely agree with you, that's why I haven't asked for her help, and I have met on my own all the people that I have networked with. Also, the group has several divisions within, so if I do happen to get an offer I'll asked to get place in a different subgroup. You think it would still be bad?
It's not a bad thing, Not at all. I just think it has the ability to end up abit messy. It might work out well for you if you are placed in another subgroup. Just a thought- I'd be asking the people you networked with if they know of any other opportunities in other Firms etc.
If you have no other option 100% take the offer. You will have to be on your grind and when employers ask why you did not get a return you could always say you denied it because you started a relationship with a person in that group. I think they will respect it.
Forgot to add: it is imperative that you make it seem you hardly friends nonetheless gf/bf.
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