No Experience, Non- Target, Please Critique

What did you do before 2011?

horrible resume even after revision. you dont even list your position for one of your work experiences. Not a very good draft for any position. go back to the drawing board and use a template.

You definitely need to put your GPA down if it's between 3.0 and 3.5

First, I want to thank everyone for their comments and contributions so far. Second, I have added another link to the subject section that takes you to an updated and re-formatted version.

Second, I tried to make the descriptions seem more distinct and provide for a better explanation of what I actually did. However, I did not know how specific to make it and did not want to, "stretch" too much.

Flake - I had an internship at the same company but different department the summer of 2010. Other than that was just part time jobs in retail.

Please feel free to take a look and let me know what you think. I will be going to some of my professors and peers tomorrow to get some additional feedback.

Thanks again.

Looks better but still needs work.

Do you have a Major GPA that is 3.5+? If so, list it.

Your dates still aren't standardized. You use numbers on some parts but you spell the month out for your education. Fix it.

"of our service to fill this void"

You need an "of" between hundreds and data inputs.

take "was" out before used. Maybe include how much (general amount) seed money you got? This is a cool experience, definitely be detailed here.

I'd take out "my" before recommendations. Also, you're a little unclear about what they led to. What kind of internal hiring? I can't tell if you're trying to say hiring was more efficient or what. Read through it and try to be a little clearer.

Capitalize the E in Excel.

Can you quantify how much sales increased from your reports?

What was the benefit of your VAB papers? End result?

change "over 80 members" to "more than 80 members"

if you're trying to say you raised $10,000, you're missing a 0. If you're trying to say $1,000, your comma is in the wrong place.

Also, change it to "more than $10,000"

Be specific about the national charity.

Any increase in alumni donations during your leadership?

Add another non-active lifestyle interest. Also I think CrossFit is spelled like this? I'd make sure to format it the correct way, I know some CF guys are really intense about it and if you have it like you do right now they might think you're bullshitting.

It looks way better than your first attempt but you still can improve it a lot.

LINK: http://www.razume.com/documents/22475

Okay, after presenting my resume' to several teachers and peers, I have what I believe to be the final version that is ready to be sent out.

Please let me know if anything stands out or if there is vagueness in the position descriptions.

Thank again everyone for your input.