Its halfway through my internship at a boutique. I have presentedideas, charts using technical analysis and views about the market.
Yesterday, my MD said its time to put money where the mouth is. He let me use his Reuters account so I can look at live data and recommend trades right away. I waited till I saw a shorting opportunity. I printscreen the chart with my technical analysis and explained why I wanted to short at a certain point. He said ok, talked to his broker and it was executed late yesterday.
Fast forward to today, in Asian hours, it was going in my short direction but when Europe opened today, the price missed my profit target by abit and went up. I looked at the other markets and to my horror, it is a bullish day today. The price hit my targetted spot loss and I am out.
I feel horrible. Its not like I have not traded before. I have so I know sometimes you lose, but in the past, that was my own money. If I lost it, I was accountable for it. Now I have lost the firm's money. Really sucked as well since its my first real trade. I mean if I had won my first trade and then lost at my second trade, the feeling won't be that bad? Money lost for that trade was about slightly more than one month's of my salary. I wonder whether he will deduct this from my salary.
I talked to another senior trader in another firm. He says that my MD approved it, he probably wanted to go short as well. But he said when things go wrong, they blame the juniors first and not themselves. Suck it up he says. Bosses are like that.
Sigh. Anyone got any comments? I don't know whether I got the confidence to face my MD later. :(